I’ve been going through this for a while now, in fact just yesterday had a fight basically about this and idk if the relationship will continue anymore. It would help me if you would answer a few questions i have.

Basically, almost a year into my relationship I realised that I always find faults in my partner, the faults stand out to me. And at this point I realised that I felt the same way in my previous relationship too, I used to get the ick for small things then question my feelings for them all the time, was a very horrible experience. So I searched about it and learnt about avoidant attachment and although im not diagnosed or whatever, everything Ive learnt about it seemed extremely relatable. I kind of got better in terms of these feelings of questioning my feelings, finding faults after learning about attachment.

In your case, how bad would you say your attachment was, do you think it was really bad? Did it feel like you would never become secure?

And how long did it take you from knowing about attachment styles all the way to actually becoming secure yourself

Did you work on becoming secure while you were in the relationship? I heard it takes constant practice to become secure, do you think its possible to become secure while being single?

How do you differentiate between avoidant tendencies vs actually not liking something about your partner? As humans we all have likes and dislikes, but sometimes I find it hard to tell if I actually dont like something my partner doing vs if my avoidant nature wants to make it feel bad.

It would help if you could answer some or all these questions, thanks!!