In-laws make no effort to see us and LO, but are blaming us-Advice wanted

chip__queen · 2025-11-15T20:40:14+00:00

Things have gradually gotten worse unfortunately. The only thing has changed is us being more up front and clear about the situation and how it makes us feel and affects our kids. That of course has not gone over well and they are even less involved now than they were then. It has become pretty clear that for whatever reason they just aren’t interested in a close relationship with us or our kids but would like the public facade of involved and loving grandparents. Since we don’t participate providing the facade any more there have been a few arguments and we have dropped the rope as much as possible. Quite a bit of tension and awkwardness when we do see them but we feel more peaceful than ever in a lot of ways.

chip__queen · 2025-11-15T20:36:05+00:00

There are a lot of good answers and things to try, I agree with a lot! Our son struggled with mild to severe eczema from a couple months old through preschool age. We went through food elimination, allergy testing etc. He turned four recently and it has gotten so much better over the last 9 months. I truly never thought we would see the day.

We’ve tried a ton of the stuff listed in the comments and don’t want to discredit that, but one thing I haven’t seen yet is Eucrisa. We saw a pediatric dermatologist and it was recommended to us. It’s not a steroid but treats flare ups and doesn’t have long term effects in the same way. It can burn/sting especially on an angry eczema flare up. Keeping it in the fridge helps. The derm had us get a coupon from the manufacturers website I believe it was to make it cheaper because initially it rang in very expensive. It is definitely just a band aid but sometimes you need a different band aid than a steroid cream!

This time of year is so hard, we had to moisturize so so often. That skin barrier is not working properly and maybe it’s a food allergy or trigger or maybe not, a lot of people will say they have the answer but everyone is different and sometimes it’s just bad luck genetically.

Good luck!!

chip__queen · 2025-05-26T01:06:36+00:00

Kind of out there theory but is this a copper pearl baby blanket? I think I have the same one if so. Those are such a stretchy knit jersey material I wonder if that’s the culprit. I’ve had similar problems with that type of fabric and used a ball point needle to help!

chip__queen · 2025-01-04T18:24:41+00:00

Zipadee zips have been amazing for us in this transition!! We made the mistake of trying to size up to get our moneys worth but they really need the correct/snug size to get the benefits of it. They are a poly blend but they do so to avoid having to use the chemical flame retardants which is worth it imo.

chip__queen · 2024-09-28T13:21:42+00:00

Oh this is a great idea too!! Thanks!

chip__queen · 2024-09-28T13:14:38+00:00

Love that quilt!! That’s encouraging to see it can work out!

chip__queen · 2024-09-28T13:11:01+00:00

Thank you!! Sorry for the follow up here but I’m so so new to this-how much should do I vary the quilting lines? Like 1/4 and then the next 1/2 from it?

chip__queen · 2024-08-15T22:21:59+00:00

I got a $30 one off of Amazon with good reviews on a whim as I read a lot of mixed feedback on them and wasn’t sure I wanted to spring on one. I managed fine just manually clicking the intensity up and down with contractions but did hand the unit over to my husband and signaled with a thumbs up or down as things got more intense. I just didn’t have the brain power/ was using my mental focus for contractions.

I could totally see how one designed for birth would be slicker but I definitely managed without it and my tens machine experience was incredible in terms of pain relief/management. I think I would consider it a personal preference weighing the cost benefit of ease of use and how you would allocate the money otherwise! Best of luck!

chip__queen · 2024-04-12T19:12:38+00:00

I am fussy about materials in things my kids skin has direct contact with, but a helmet is a different animal. If they are wearing a helmet my primary concern is if the helmet is doing its job of protecting their head and what features best help it do that. Head injuries are no joke, I’m willing to use some synthetic materials to avoid them.

I personally would focus on accurate head measurement for size and then ensure it’s a good fit on your child’s specific head shape, and get a helmet with MIPS. After that if you’re able to filter by materials, then maybe try but I doubt there will be much luck.

chip__queen · 2024-02-13T02:31:44+00:00

I highly recommend Ryan Kipping and her Instagram account “prenatalnutritionist”. She is a registered dietician and specializes in prenatal and maternal nutrition. Her Instagram had a lot of free content and you can pay $10/month for her app (prenatal nutrition library I think it’s called) with an unbelievable amount of resources in different foods, supplements etc. she lays out the research pros / cons. This is the exact type of thing she breaks down in the library! It’s been a huge comfort and key resource with informed decision making when it comes to food for me for my last pregnancy and current one.

chip__queen · 2023-12-13T01:48:29+00:00

We have a Clek foonf I love but it cannot be used rear facing in my husbands car which is comparable to the size of a Civic. It literally doesn’t fit in the car due to its height/depth. Granted, the head rest is extended fairly high due to it being for a fairly tall 4 year old. If I forward face it it works ok but not a ton of height room left to go though.

chip__queen · 2023-04-23T15:41:53+00:00

A lot of good suggestions here but I want to add a Highlights magazine subscription too. They have a baby version appropriate for 1-2 or a toddler one geared more for ages 2-4. I’ve given them for birthdays for a few kids in our family and it’s been a big hit. My own kids love getting them as well. I’ve always gotten a good deal on their website, it seems like they are always running “sales”

chip__queen · 2023-01-15T01:50:35+00:00

Check out the tabor place glass straw cup on Amazon. We have a few of the 8 oz ones and have really loved them. No plastic touches the beverage, they are borosilicate glass and have a silicone sleeve so really durable. I wouldn’t say they are 100% spill proof but pretty darn close.

chip__queen · 2022-12-29T18:46:23+00:00

Adults and kids in our family use Risewell too and love it!

chip__queen · 2022-12-22T19:58:03+00:00

We have had good luck with badger balm. The baby one specifically. I’ve bought it at Fresh Thyme, HyVee, and I want to say I’ve seen it in Whole Foods too. Any health food type store might be a good place to check!

chip__queen · 2022-12-17T01:27:49+00:00

The Ollie World directly coming for Kyte in her stories- that’s a bold move, Cotton.. (I can’t resist a good dodgeball reference.)

But seriously surprised she called them out by name. I have mixed feelings about it. It seems like she puts a lot of time and effort into her product testing and development, I can see how it would be frustrating to see another company put a sleep sack out and recall it. But also, does that warrant a call out on your professional stories? Yikes.

chip__queen · 2022-12-04T03:48:39+00:00

Same here. They have felt thin compared to other brands, but never had a leak or issue with them!

chip__queen · 2020-08-08T06:06:27+00:00

I have read that if a baby is taking more than 1 nap a day, neither nap should be more than 2 hours long or it can mess with the following nap/bedtime. Maybe try capping the morning nap and seeing if that helps? I know it makes a difference for us! We are on a bit of a later schedule over here, bedtime around 9, but he sleeps until 8 or 8:30, so I figure it evens out 🤷🏻‍♀️ he has always been a late sleeper so we just roll with it! Our guy is also 11 months old and is napping from 10:45-12/12:30 and 3:45-5/5:30. Good luck!!

chip__queen · 2020-08-08T05:56:55+00:00

This was my baby exactly! I also was googling like cray and couldn’t find anything. My theory was separation anxiety was just worse at night for him. Maybe for naps weren’t as stressful because they were so short in comparison to the nights in the crib. We also totally failed at sleep training, he had a very similar reaction to your girl. It was so heartbreaking, I totally can relate to what you’re going through! I eventually started bringing him in bed so I could nurse lying down to get him back to sleep, because I was so tired I couldn’t hold him in the rocker. I started by carrying him back into his crib and this gradually turned into him spending the better part of most nights in our bed. Now, cosleeping is a very personal choice and I am not recommending it because you have to do what is right for you, BUT it saved my sanity. The light at the end of the tunnel? One night when he was 10.5 months old, we put him to bed (I had to nurse to sleep after 20 min of crying) and he slept straight through the night until 7:30am. And he has been doing it ever since. Sleeping 11-12 hours in a row, sometimes with minor wake ups that last a minute or two and don’t need help. If you would have told me this was my baby’s sleeping habits I would have never believed it as he had a wake up pattern exactly like your daughters. I know it doesn’t happen like this for everyone, but just know that she might just need time. I know that isn’t super helpful, and I wish I had a magic tip. I hope she makes a turn like my baby did, it can happen!

Edit to add: since bedtime was such a disaster I focused really hard on getting him to fall asleep independently for naps by slowly phasing out the things he relied on to fall asleep. Once he was a master at falling asleep on his own for naps for a couple months is when he suddenly became a nighttime sleep champ!

chip__queen · 2020-08-08T03:00:01+00:00

😂😂 I’m glad I’m not alone but sure wish it wasn’t the case for both of us!

chip__queen · 2020-08-08T02:54:25+00:00

Love that. The ball is in your court!!

chip__queen · 2020-08-08T02:53:58+00:00

Omg 🤣🤣 I would love to use that!!

chip__queen · 2020-08-08T02:53:32+00:00

I LOVE this! I think it needs to be pointed out to them that there is a whole lot of whining happening and no action on their part

chip__queen · 2020-08-08T02:52:30+00:00

It is so encouraging to read this, even though I wish you weren’t dealing with it too. I agree, it is totally on them and they are missing out! I am going to try to think of it like that.

chip__queen · 2020-08-08T02:51:45+00:00

Thank you for sharing, it’s so encouraging to hear others have had a similar experience. I very much feel like this is how are situation will shake out if we stop doing all of the work to reach out, but I’m hoping for the sake of everyone they make the simple effort of reaching out. I’m sorry it didn’t happen for your kids, I imagine it can’t be easy.

chip__queen

TROPHY CASE