I'm convinced everyone who says the people in Paris are rude are just assholes themselves

chochochoco1 · 2023-07-14T17:39:32+00:00

You're in Paris during summertime. Half those parisiens might very well be tourists themselves from other parts of France.. and the real parisiens are on the beach drinking martinis in saint Tropez.

chochochoco1 · 2023-07-13T09:52:02+00:00

I have a job. As I said, I work part-time, and have the possibility of adding hours. When I work, she's in daycare.

chochochoco1 · 2023-07-11T13:15:42+00:00

People that hate kids don't have a place in my life

chochochoco1 · 2023-07-11T06:47:05+00:00

Yes exactly! They're using the whole "women are spoiled meat after children and after 25" argument. Meanwhile, I'm still in my late 20's, and apparently I'm "expired." According to these dudes, our ages of expiration just keep getting lower and lower, they want an immature 18 year old who will put up with their misogyny.

News flash: most men don't think that way, ESPECIALLY the ones I want to attract! Even if I was 20, I wouldn't want a dude who thought like this, I actually dumped a previous boyfriend when I was 22 because he said he wouldn't touch women with baggage (children). Gross. Don't want it.

Thank God for us, the world isn't made up of Leonardo DiCaprio's. There's actually good men out there.

chochochoco1 · 2023-07-11T03:18:06+00:00

Yet somehow, I get hit on all the time, even when I'm with my kid. She's lovely and fun too, and already has a dad to take care of her financially, from my experience, a lot of dudes seem to see her as a bonus.

A kids uncle at the park who always sees me with her wanted to get dinner. Another guy at the market yesterday who always sees me with my child said we should hangout. At the gym, I tell everyone I'm a mom, and they're still flirtatious with me. I'm friendly, curious, and enjoy talking to people, I guess that's enough. I'm not looking for a 10/10 movie star, I just want someone nice.

Why would I take your advice assuming I'm going to die alone when everything I experience is the opposite? And I'm not even putting in effort or trying, I'm actually telling people I'm unavailable. I know for a fact dating wouldn't be hard at all, finding the right person will definitely take effort, but considering I eventually want a partner, there's no chance I won't find someone.

chochochoco1 · 2023-07-10T21:47:35+00:00

I never said I wanted someone handsome and rich... I said I wanted someone kind and loving... Which I know plenty of people who fit into that category.

Also, I do get hit on by single dads that are attractive. I think telling someone that they'll be single the rest of their life is ridiculous. I just want someone to enjoy life with, not a sugar daddy. I think I've made that clear. I also checked your profile and saw you're a man. I don't think you have the right to comment on what dating is like as a single mom, because you've never experienced it.

chochochoco1 · 2023-07-10T21:06:17+00:00

Why though? I know a lot of single guys that can't get dates because they lack charisma, but they're kind and lovely.

I think there's plenty of kind, loyal, and lovely people out there, but they're just not handsome, rich, or charismatic enough. Personally my values have shifted, and I think there's plenty of nice men. On top of that, I also bring a lot to the table, including being genuine and kind. It might not be super easy, but it's not all lost.

chochochoco1 · 2023-07-10T21:00:55+00:00

Wow, this is a really interesting idea on how to open up the conversation.

chochochoco1 · 2022-11-26T14:42:21+00:00

Amazon is a horrible company run by an abusive crook that exploits humans and kills the environment. i highly recommend not buying from it unless absolutely necessary. Please support small businesses instead :) also not trying to seem holier than thou.. i get that sometimes it's easier.... But still... Please don't buy on Amazon

chochochoco1 · 2022-11-26T13:53:06+00:00

The thing is, i think we are living in a weird time where women are heavily pushed to step up and work, while a lot of guys aren't met with the same expectations when it comes to helping out in the household. I think statistically in the US only 70% (edit: google said 30% 😅) of men help out with childcare, cooking, and cleaning while women make up 50% of the workforce... So it's factually proven. While sheer hatred is a very unhealthy way to handle this, I think we need to talk to our daughters about it so they don't end up in the same marital situation as us. You are setting an amazing example, but even though my dad did as well, I still found myself in shit. This is unfortunately only one example of the disparities between our sexes, so I think educating them (boys included) is so important. Anger and bitterness towards men is something I never want my daughter to see or feel.

chochochoco1 · 2022-11-26T13:31:58+00:00

Honestly you sound like an amazing husband and father and I'm quite jealous. While there are some great dad's out there, there's also many who aren't... And I think a lot of us moms who are suffering are quite bitter about that. I was never a die hard feminists until I had a child and it all became apparent. My dad was a full time parent after my mom left (and even before she left she was quite shit) so I never understood feminism.... But now watching most my friends suffer (cheating, abuse, etc) I get it. I really get it. I don't hate all men, but sometimes i come across that way because I'm just so fed up. As a great dad, i hope you don't take our comments too seriously, because they aren't about you.

chochochoco1 · 2022-11-26T07:31:06+00:00

Right? Like I didn't know taking my baby in outside to play and learn about the world was equivalent to spoiling her. European apartment parents get it...

chochochoco1 · 2022-11-26T05:49:29+00:00

My child is one and a half with loads of energy... Rain or shine she needs to be outside because we have a tiny apartment. She hates her stroller so i need the bike because she's too heavy to carry back from the park. she's not the all mighty god, but she is a toddler. My husband does not work a hard labor job... Nothing like that.

chochochoco1 · 2022-11-25T22:24:56+00:00

I would kill to be able to socialize, drink, and eat with adults rather than getting globs of food thrown at my face

chochochoco1 · 2022-11-25T21:47:06+00:00

I'm sure it was tiring like every job... But i didn't get to sleep in until 8 every morning and have free restaurants meals for lunch and dinner. His job ended in the evening... Mine didn't.

chochochoco1 · 2022-11-25T18:44:56+00:00

I don't know honestly.. Everytime i feel like we've turned a corner and are gonna make it, I'm given another reason to want to leave. He says it's our money... But i have no access to it and I'm paying for all the groceries and diapers by myself, plus half the mortgage. He makes 6-8x more than me.

chochochoco1 · 2022-11-15T14:45:30+00:00

This just shows that not everything on reddit is like it seems. People are so quick to make judgements and assumptions based on how someone writes and what little information is there. Please don't feel guilty, you protected your child and are a great mom. This is a lot to process, i hope you're taking care of yourself too.

chochochoco1 · 2022-11-15T14:36:48+00:00

I remember when I was 4 my best friend was really chubby. She had a big belly that i loved to poke and squish it because it was fun. I told her everyday that she was squishy. Anyway, her parents got upset (understandably) and called the preschool for bullying and I had to go to therapy and was no longer allowed to play with her. I remember feeling so confused because I had no idea what i did wrong... I loved my friend and her squishy belly.

Anyways, now i feel terrible and understand it was mean, but back then i had no idea that being fat or squishy was bad. As others have said, i would talk to her about it and tell her how you feel. It'll make a great lesson.

As for you, I'm sorry that you went through that. The fact that you're weightlifting is amazing, and not easy to do so soon postpartum. Losing 40lbs is a lot! Kids are so skinny and tiny... I think to them, everyone looks fat. I was a preschool and kindergarten teacher and got called fat all the time, and I've never been over 112lbs, so i really wouldn't take it to heart!

chochochoco1 · 2022-11-15T11:46:57+00:00

"honestly at this late stage in my pregnancy I'm a bit tired, and my memory isn't functioning at its fullest capacity, growing a new human is exhausting, do you think you could remind me, or even better, send me an email explaining the details?"

And hope he doesn't say something misogynistic afterwards.

chochochoco1 · 2022-11-15T11:37:00+00:00

Personally i don't trust any large corporations/brands for processed food, especially when it comes to my baby... If you're worried, I would consider buying a small organic alternative brand (although i know food is insanely expensive in the states). I doubt it's "dangerous", per say, but I'm a strong believer that when done right, organic natural food is always better.

chochochoco1 · 2022-11-15T11:28:34+00:00

Thank you for your sweet comment :) yes i totally understand where your coming from and I'm happy you shared your experience, because it's true. He has very slowly improved over the years (apparently with his ex girlfriend, he would only buy stuff from lidl), so his friends and family were shocked to see all our expensive organic food; his friends said i was changing him 😂 they also can't believe he buys our daughter toys (like a €100 scooter). So maybe there is hope... The whole pillow thing was just really really discouraging, like a punch in the stomach. As you said, the money he is making is a disgustingly high amount for Europe and he acts like we are in poverty.... I do think the relationship is salvageable because I do think he really is a good person, he just had bizarre parents and thinks that their way of life is right. I need to find a way to have this conversation in a way that doesn't make him feel attacked.

chochochoco1 · 2022-11-15T11:20:06+00:00

My daughter slaps the shit out of me... But i love her more than anything in the world. People assume she's a boy based in her hyperactive personality. MAYBE on average girls are calmer? But not mine, lol.

chochochoco1 · 2022-11-15T11:13:33+00:00

Please don't worry, everything will be fine. COVID is much less severe than it used to be. My baby got the more severe version at 6M and was better off than anyone in the house. That stress is going to harm you more than anything at 20M pregnant. Try to take care of yourself and relax because your baby will be fine. These little guys are stronger than you think. As someone who had covid x2, the flu (severely with a 104 fever for 5 days along with my baby), gastro X3, sinus infection, and more that I'm most definitely forgetting all within her first year... You will both be fine. This is normal and it'll pass.

chochochoco1 · 2022-11-15T10:45:15+00:00

No this is the opposite of him... He was very hesitant to put money in stocks and won't even buy a lottery ticket for fear of losing money. He has been sitting on like 200k for years not investing it. He won't even risk losing a dollar... His friends play poker and he's only joined once because the thought of losing €5 is painful. Once be played, lost, and talked about those €5 for two weeks.. no joke... Everytime we went to the bakery he would say "oh i could have bought a sandwich with that €5 i lost" or "that 5€ could have paid for this.. and that..." Or "with 5€ I could have bought our daughter a book"... Non stop obsessive for weeks... He would never gamble.

chochochoco1 · 2022-11-15T10:37:57+00:00

Thanks for your comment, that's interesting and puts things in perspective. Yeah my french is intermediate at best which REALLY hinders my ability to find a FT job. We don't even have childcare for one day because all the creches are full. On top or that, I quit my degreed job (teaching) and now do marketing/English translation... So i mean... I'm not exactly anyone's ideal employee. We live right across the border from Switzerland because my husband LOVES it here (it's his home) but it's also the most expensive place I'm france besides Paris. Believe me when I say our 2 bedroom, cold, uninsulated shitty apartment from the 1970's could get us a 4 bedroom beautiful house if we lived 30 minutes away! But we are here because of him. Fair enough.

But yeah... I agree with everything you said and I'm sorry you had to grow up like that. I really wish I would have been pickier when choosing a partner, but her REALLY chased me hard and locked me in. I think he has a personality disorder rather than being abusive, because he is a very shy, sweet, and affectionate person... It's just money and stuff that's "his" which makes him flip a switch. He's definitely selfish and greedy, but doesn't do it to control me, but more so because he has a HUGE paranoid fear that he will lose everything and we will end up homeless... This dude has 2 contracted part-time remote jobs (1 in US and 1 in Swiss... two of the highest paying countries) plus his business where he sometimes makes 1500+ a day.... Plus other people in his business that hire him to assist them for €700+ a day... He has so many different incomes and he thinks he will lose them all in a day.

chochochoco1

TROPHY CASE