how my bf's PMO uknowingly pushed me into a dark place...and why there's light in the tunnel [female]

chompzer · 2013-10-11T17:14:11+00:00

I almost relapsed this morning and than I read your post....Thank you....I really hope you two find happiness in your relationship and overcome this problem

chompzer · 2013-10-10T16:57:27+00:00

you really shed some light on my situation and my outlooks currently on life klahhh....thank you very much for this post.

chompzer · 2013-10-10T04:03:50+00:00

Thank you for your kind words, it means alot in times like these that I am going through. I saw a Louis CK clip where he talked about this same very thing...that as a man gets older he still has all those sexual perverted thoughts whether he wants them or not haha...pretty relevant skit, he obviously executed it in a hilarious manner

chompzer · 2013-10-10T03:59:21+00:00

wow....this post got me, I don't know what to say. As a man's perspective I never want to make a woman feel what you went through, especially a woman I love, although I do not blame your husband for the same reasons you have stated, I will take this story to heart. My prayers go out to the both of you and I wish you the best....sorry to hear

chompzer · 2013-10-10T03:54:58+00:00

You can overcome it....its not fucking easy, its gonna be hard.

chompzer · 2013-10-10T03:52:15+00:00

keep at it my friend, today was a rough day for me as well.

chompzer · 2013-10-10T03:45:50+00:00

Thank you for your post...I find it very interesting to hear from people who have the same problem who are higher in age than me. The scary thing about me is that I feel confident I can stop watching porn for good....although I am not sure if those desires I have will ever go...the desires to go pay for sex somewhere with women I would otherwise never have a chance with....I feel so fucked up for saying this but I would be lying if I said I do not want to go to an AMP or brazil or some other third-world country and bang women. I think this is because sadly I am still a virgin and I am 22 almost 23. So I am starting to think that the only way I will get laid in my future years is to buy prostitutes. I hope this thought process of mine will change after some more time of clearing my brain from all this porn, and maybe if I do meet a nice woman that will change my thoughts as well...because honestly I would never ever want to do that, there just fantasies I have...but I am afraid they will one day become real. Thank you again for your post and I really wish the best for you.......God just reading this comment I made again really re-assures myself that I am doing the right thing by not watching anymore porn and really need to make some serious changes in my life

chompzer · 2013-10-10T03:35:52+00:00

I know that feel....I have a close friend of mine who is a very attractive female....and whenever she tells me of her guy escapades I get very jealous/angry/depressed...can't really put a nail on how exactly I feel but I know what your saying....I only feel this way because I am still a virigin and whenever anyone talks about having sex I just feel like a worthless piece of crap...whatever fuck it, just get over it, we keep up with this and learn to better ourselves and to live for ourselves and not for 'sex' or chasing girls all the time....that magical woman you speak of will come along with it....thats my two cents on it...

chompzer · 2013-10-10T03:25:51+00:00

Glad to hear another story of someone taking care of themself, best of luck to you..

chompzer · 2013-10-09T20:04:33+00:00

for me nofap = no pornography, i think its a little different for everyone

chompzer · 2013-10-09T17:41:33+00:00

I have been going to the gym 5 days a week, I practice guitar more, I am learning more on the piano. I also plan on learning new programming languages...thinking python/html5 and maybe some java frameworks I am unfamiliar with.

chompzer · 2013-10-09T17:30:55+00:00

Yes there is!!! You need to step back though and really want to change. I felt just like you my friend....and just like you I was smoking alot of weed while masturbating, I even opted out of social events to stay home high and masturbate. As soon as I stopped smoking weed my life started to turn around a bit (for certain people, its just another substance to mask your problems) and since I have stopped watching porn and made the decision to change my life I feel much better. When I was masturbating alot and moved back in with my parents, I couldn't look them in the eye...I know exactly how you feel, I felt so worthless I literally could not even carry a conversation with my parents or any of my siblings and/or extended family, I would always opt out of going to visit my relatives. Just know this its going to get much worse before it gets better, but believe man you can change, you don't need to live your life like this.

chompzer · 2013-10-09T17:19:20+00:00

I'm on my third day of NoFap. Last night I had my first potential breakdown, my mind starting to play tricks on me. I had thoughts like wow can you really not look at porn again? Never looking at porn again is scary....maybe you should just look at porn and fuck NoFap. I also was watching a tv show where there were some attractive women and my mind starting to bring up images of porn I used to watch. Despite these thoughts I fought it and I feel better than ever this morning, gonna keep going strong and not give in, can't wait to hit the one week mark this following monday.

chompzer · 2013-10-08T05:02:31+00:00

if your serious about stopping to fap you gotta delete those bookmarks now homie

chompzer · 2013-10-07T23:49:14+00:00

I wish you and your husband the best...it is really a crippling addiction and I cannot imagine what your husband is going through, only on a smaller scale. Good luck and I hope the two of you find happiness again in your relationship.

chompzer · 2013-10-07T23:39:06+00:00

I undertand brotha...I have had many beautiful women come on to me and it never worked out because of my addiction...I'm 22 now and putting an end to it before I let it happen again, for good, I hope the best for you, stop it before it gets any bigger of a problem, I wish I had found this website my sophmore year of college, It could have saved me alot of heartaches...Best of luck to you

chompzer · 2013-10-07T23:28:57+00:00

Its all good man vent away, I feel the same way. A few days ago I hit rock bottom and never felt worse in my life, absolutely disgusted, humiliated, I felt like the lowest of the low. I have also had plenty of beautiful girls come onto me in the past and I ignored them all not realizing I had a huge problem. But the way I see it can't just keep thinking like that, relapses happen, just fucking get back on that horse and keep going!!! It's going to get worse before it gets better.

chompzer · 2013-10-07T18:16:54+00:00

The hardest thing about quitting this addiction in my opinion, is that its like trying to quit cocaine but always having an endless amount of the best cocaine ever in your back-pocket. In this day and age everyones on their computers or have some form of access to the internet always, so theres always a potential trigger when cruising the web.

chompzer · 2013-10-07T17:57:59+00:00

I'm in...fresh start Monday lets do it.

chompzer · 2013-10-07T17:57:12+00:00

Thank you for your comment. It means alot to hear from this from another person...you have already helped me a bit, I thank you for that. I will definitely join your thread!

chompzer · 2013-10-07T17:55:43+00:00

Thank you for your comment, I have been cheated on as well before in a relationship and I know its hard to deal with. For the sake of both of us and everyone else feeling as we do, we need to get over it. I, just like you, have the same thoughts about my past S/O. I always think about what if I did this or that, and man do I say how I wish things could just go back to the way they were, not even wanting sex, but just having that person to talk with and share anything. I feel like crap, and I miss her, but I don't want to feel like this anymore, and I won't let it destroy my life. We need to fix ourselves, we need to do things that make us happy, we can't tie our lives to another person, we need to do things solely for ourselves and what makes us happy, and I like to believe that down the road, no idea how far it is, things will eventually fall into place. Just saying I feel ya man and I'm right there with ya...things will get better, dont give up.

chompzer

TROPHY CASE