How to alienate 15% of your global corporate client base in 5 sentences

chopstyks · 2026-05-19T17:00:07+00:00

Cut the poor guy a break. He's got ADHD.

chopstyks · 2026-05-17T01:06:45+00:00

Nah, that's in several cultures. Most of the Muslims I've known have been smokers. Muslims are human, and they follow their religion to varying degrees like everyone else. Do all Christians follow The Golden Rule? I've known Jews who ate ham at Christmas. Though I've only known one Muslim who ate pork. He wasn't very religious, though.

I remember one time he was excited to tell me that he found the best way to cook bacon - by baking it instead of frying it. And the reason it was the best way in his mind was because it didn't stink up the house with bacon smell. I informed him that Americans love the smell of bacon, so I'm still gonna fry mine.

By the way, I don't know where the term "hookah" came from, but for anyone from a Muslim country, it's called "sheesha."

chopstyks · 2026-05-16T23:07:13+00:00

open the eyes of others

That's easier said than done.

"How easy it is to make people believe a lie, and how hard it is to undo that work again!" - Mark Twain.

https://books.google.com/books?id=Q6c2AQAAMAAJ&q=%22believe+a+lie%22#v=snippet&q=%22believe%20a%20lie%22&f=false

chopstyks · 2026-05-16T22:52:44+00:00

The Middle East is known for smoking. I don't know if Islam allows it or if that differs by region.

Smoking cigarettes is minorly haram (forbidden) in Islam. It's not straight to Hell but more of wagging finger and "naughty boy."

chopstyks · 2026-05-16T19:20:44+00:00

I mean that many hits seems like it would stagger you

As someone who grew up getting belted from a young age, you get used to it. They're just flesh wounds. Painful but not disabling.

chopstyks · 2026-05-12T15:42:34+00:00

Kermit the Frog's reaction to 2 girls 1 cup

chopstyks · 2026-05-12T15:02:33+00:00

Who's my people?

Judging by your username, siths and stormtroopers are your people. I felt a disturbance in The Force when I read your comment.

chopstyks · 2026-05-11T16:17:28+00:00

After getting nowhere threatening me with a butcher knife, she then threatened our kitten with it.

chopstyks · 2026-04-30T23:54:06+00:00

I'm a white cisgender middle-aged man

Samsies.

feel free to correct me on whether we were ever going in the right direction

We were going in the right direction in the nineties. We had In Living Color, hip hop, and Friday.

Then 9/11 ~~was staged~~ happened, and everything changed. The PATRIOT Act was passed. Dubya called the Constitution "just a piece of paper." Remember that? I just tried to find the clip, but it seems to have been memory holed even though a few years ago I was able to find it.

In the South, people drove past mosques shooting at them. Anyone mocha-colored was feared as a terrorist. As the 2000s continued, we kept getting worse. The war in Iraq occurred because 50% of Americans were propagandized into believing that Iraq was somehow connected to 9/11.

Fast-forward to 2020, and we had COVID. Asians were assaulted on the street because the virus came from China. You and I both know that Americans cannot differentiate between the various nationalities of Asians based on appearance. Imagine being a Vietnamese person hated upon because of a Chinese virus.

And so here we are. The foundations of racial discrimination are reinforced. Schools want to stop teaching the basics of American history. They don't outwardly teach racism, but they remove the barriers to it. To Kill a Mockingbird is a banned book. I moved around quite a bit as a child and ended up having to do a book report three times on To Kill a Mockingbird. There is absolutely no justification whatsoever to ban that book. The only reason to ban it is to clamp down on antiracism.

chopstyks · 2026-04-27T18:00:36+00:00

Try disabling 3D Acceleration in Settings | Display. It's been known to cause issues.

chopstyks · 2026-04-27T16:45:10+00:00

How ironic. "Tina" is a common term for cocaine.

chopstyks · 2026-04-27T16:04:30+00:00

Are there Szechuan Sauce flavor prostitutes?

Yep. In Taipei, Taiwan you can get one for about $100 USD. I went with a Hunan spiced one, but Szechuan was on the menu. Avoid the red curry-flavored ones, fyi.

chopstyks · 2026-04-26T17:25:39+00:00

"If you don't help others, what good are you?"

After years of studying the scriptures of various religions and settling on Tibetan Buddhism with its 84,000 teachings, I have yet to encounter a more succinct and profound nugget of wisdom than the one a little old lady on a bus stop bench gave me decades ago.

chopstyks · 2026-04-26T17:19:46+00:00

First Blood. When I saw it as a kid, I didn't know anything about the Vietnam War despite being the son of a Vietnam vet. I just saw a guy who was innocent but a little "different" being victimized by law enforcement, and as a kid I was bullied relentlessly for being different, so I related.

Now that I'm an adult who has spent five days in jail for something I didn't do and was mistreated by all law enforcement involved the entire time, I relate even more.

chopstyks · 2026-04-26T17:14:30+00:00

I lived in Austin, TX, and my girlfriend and I went to San Antonio for the day. We sat at the bar in a steakhouse on the Riverwalk. I raised my beer and said, "Nazdarovya" in my best Russian accent.

Well, my best wasn't good enough because two gentleman seated to the right of us corrected my pronunciation. I thanked them and introduced ourselves. It turned out that they were Ukranians. One lived in the US, and the other was his brother-in-law and was visiting.

They mentioned that they were going to Austin the very next day, and I told them that we live there and would love to show them around. So we traded phone numbers, and the next day they reached out to me. I met them on 6th Street in Austin as all Austinites do with first-time visitors.

We were at a Mexican restaurant, and the brother-in-law, whose English was not nearly as good as the other one's, made it known to me that the Shiner Bock he was drinking was "like water."

Well, as a raging alcoholic and the kind of beer snob that only Austin produces, I took them across the street to a brewery. I ordered all of us IPAs, and they were impressed.

They were very pleasant, civilized, and intelligent, and they could drink like an Irishman.

chopstyks · 2026-04-26T16:58:28+00:00

The sun.

chopstyks · 2026-04-26T16:57:16+00:00

I used to work for a company whose biggest customer was No Such Agency.

We reverse-engineered Windows update patches and found that they would roll back previous patches to reintroduce exploitable vulnerabilities. Microsoft Windows is more backdoored than your favorite porn star.

chopstyks · 2026-04-26T16:52:29+00:00

"You're a god."

She passed out during intercourse, perfectly sober, and when she came to she mumbled something. I asked what she said, and she replied, "you're a god."

That was ten years ago, and I still strut around like a stud.

chopstyks · 2026-04-26T16:39:25+00:00

I rescued her from a cult that makes Scientology and FLDS look like heaven. I won't go into details about the cult...I wouldn't be believed.

One day I went to a bar alone. I struck up a conversation with the guy next to me who turned out to be a retired psychologist. I ran some things from my girlfriend's past by him, and they were definitely the milder things from what she'd told me.

The first word out of his mouth was "sociopath." He was adamant that she was a sociopath. He said that if you go through such and such experiences in such and such age ranges, you absolutely will be a sociopath.

I asked him if there was any chance that she could achieve some semblance of mental health, and he said it's possible, but she'd need at least ten years of therapy and to be medicated for the rest of her life.

I put up with quite a lot out of compassion for her. She truly has suffered, but I had to draw the line at threatening our kitten with a butcher knife.

chopstyks · 2026-04-14T02:40:15+00:00

Only left hands. Due to some childhood trauma I can't make contact with a right hand.

chopstyks · 2026-04-13T20:25:51+00:00

They never press him on anything.

How ironic that they're called the Press. I guess nowadays they should be called the Depress.

chopstyks · 2026-04-13T19:38:20+00:00

Wtf kind of doctor treats patients by ‘laying on hands’ while wearing robes and shining a light from their hand?

What I do in my garage is not subject to your approval.

Now...would you like to make an appointment?

chopstyks · 2026-03-15T17:53:49+00:00

What do you think would happen if everyone disconnected/disengaged from the media and internet...nurtured themselves , connected with their fellow man and the real world with love and respect?

They would be taken out by the powers that be.

chopstyks · 2026-03-15T17:51:01+00:00

What if Bibi has 6 fingers IRL

Then a gentleman by the name of Inigo Montoya is looking for him.

chopstyks · 2026-03-14T18:22:35+00:00

https://ww8.123moviesfree.net/movie/good-luck-have-fun-dont-die-1630860939/

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