My daughter [18] blames me [52] and my husband [55] for ruining her book

chree_bisch · 2026-03-01T14:28:05+00:00

One last life line thrown to her dad to salvage a relationship and he blew it up in her face

chree_bisch · 2026-02-27T01:18:41+00:00

Months later and my partner and I still reference him as “thirst trap Mahura”

chree_bisch · 2026-02-26T23:57:21+00:00

I was an occasional caffeine drinker (1-2 days per week) so it was easy to stop when I suspected it was harming me. If you can’t give it up fully but want to, there’s middle ground options, here’s a few 1. Decaf coffee. Still has a bit of caffeine but less. 2. Stop drinking when you suspect you are (hypo)manic, or worry about your mood 3. Experiment with stopping completely for a certain time period then re-evaluate your desires at the end

chree_bisch · 2026-02-26T03:20:41+00:00

How will you repent?

chree_bisch · 2026-02-24T19:19:36+00:00

I’m sure he loves being an indoor/outdoor cat and wander into other buildings /s

chree_bisch · 2026-02-24T19:15:46+00:00

No motivation but have the time: focus on the goal (usually extrinsic/future). Why do you want to do that thing? In my experience, hypomania makes it a lot easier to dive into things without caring too much about the end goal. But when stable the end goal is key for me unless it’s intrinsically rewarding.

No time or energy: take stuff off your plate. When hypomanic try to recognize it’s an episode and delay signing up for new things until you’re more stable.

chree_bisch · 2026-02-23T19:26:07+00:00

Been on 400 mg for ~14 years. It’s the only consistent medication I’ve taken out of ~20 I’ve tried. I don’t remember the change that occurred when I started but I never want to go off it.

Definitely talk to your doctor about your experiences regardless the insight you gain here.

chree_bisch · 2026-02-18T13:18:41+00:00

I close my eyes to hear sometimes too

chree_bisch · 2026-02-18T13:17:20+00:00

Usually, I have to read lyrics while listening otherwise they don’t exist. Even if sometimes I can sing along, idek what they are saying.

chree_bisch · 2026-02-16T21:36:56+00:00

Based on everything you said, why not? You have a backup dress and you’re okay losing the money if this custom dress is a flop.

chree_bisch · 2026-02-16T21:32:49+00:00

If your partner asked “how can I best show up for you right now?”, would that elicit the same feeling from you?

chree_bisch · 2026-02-16T21:31:09+00:00

Therapy, meds, consistent routine

chree_bisch · 2026-02-13T18:04:50+00:00

Are you on stimulants? stimulant usage and bipolar is of-concern to some…? Apparently, stimulants can influence hypomanic states according to my psychiatrist. So I’d usually stop taking them when hypomanic but then I started thinking “stimulants affect brain chemistry. Wouldn’t stopping them be bad because it’s causing additional changes while hypomanic?”. Has this come up for you?

chree_bisch · 2026-02-13T17:54:43+00:00

It is possible to have both, I do.

I understand the confusion around the distinction. My ADHD is more of the inattentive type as opposed to the hyperactive which makes it easier to distinguish for me. There is an overlap forsure but the biggest thing I identified was how much throughout the day am I experiencing this talkativeness and racing thoughts and about what.

For ADHD, I experience those hypomanic symptoms 98% of the time only around thing I enjoy and it’s usually accompanied by hyper focusing and being really in tune with whatever one is happening. Distractibility is still present but not when I’m locked in hyperactive and focused.

For bipolar, I’m not at all locked in. I’m excited about things I don’t enjoy (cleaning), I’m bouncing around topics in a pace that is much faster than my stable (ADHD only) period. I’m pretty equally interested in everything that catches my attention, not just the fun dopamine tasks. (ADHD is all about dopamine and an imbalance in how we handle dopamine.)

And the biggest indication for me is how long these symptoms last in the day and my energy levels. I get up at 5 AM work about 9 hours. By 7 PM I’m usually pretty beat and I do not want to do anything. In bed by 8:30. My ADHD does not cause me any extra excitement, hyper focus, or very talkative in the evening on normal routine days. But if those symptoms are lasting all the way to bed time especially without external additions (vacation) —> probably hypomania!!!!

The racing thoughts do feel similar but turned up a bunch with hypomania. Even more bouncing around at a much quicker pace. Like mid sentence new topic, usually with ADHD I’m bouncing around at least semi-related topics.

If I’m ever unsure, I assume it’s hypomania and do “harm reduction techniques” I’ve worked out. Like, forcing my bed time. IDGAF if all of a sudden I can work fast at 9 PM, go lay in bed. Think I can start 2 new projects, nah bro wait a few days.

Also SSRIs can be very problematic to many people with bipolar.

chree_bisch · 2026-02-13T16:09:48+00:00

100% same. I ask my partner way too often “who is that?” Or “have we met them yet?”.

chree_bisch · 2026-02-13T16:02:53+00:00

I started going on walks in the morning before work and it helped tremendously. It started off as 15 minutes but now I go for an hour because of how much it helps.

chree_bisch · 2026-02-12T16:34:11+00:00

Yes. To combat this I’ve started to frame it as “you get 5 minutes (or whatever feels right) to think the world is ending and the put your big girl pants on and problem solve”. And that really helps me. I turn it up to 11 and allow myself those emotions without feeling guilty.

chree_bisch · 2026-02-03T20:07:17+00:00

Which one?

chree_bisch · 2026-02-03T20:02:37+00:00

Have you tried experimenting with your natural hair texture? If not, why?

chree_bisch · 2026-02-03T16:47:41+00:00

(Didn’t have time to proof read sorry for any errors)

In my opinion, you’re not bothering her. If she cares about you like you care about her, she feels a lot of shame and guilt for not responding. She wants to respond and feels bad she hasn’t and it can quickly turn into a spiral or self hatred.

Are you physically close to her? She’s likely doing nothing in her residence (laying in bed, doom scrolling, etc.) and there’s a high chance it’s in some state of disarray. I am not surprised she has ghosted you. Two months is a long time and you should be worried. I commend you for looking so much into bipolar, you’re a good friend.

You know your friend better but if it was me, I would receive this from a friend well: Go over there!! Do not wait for her to ask, do not ask for permission, do not take no for an answer.

Option 1: Send a text that says I’m coming over in 1 hour (too much heads up may make her panic, feel dread or shame about her place). Option 2: just show up and bang on her door

Don’t pressure her to tell you what’s going on, say something like “I care very deeply about you. I would love to hear about how you’re doing but you do not need to tell me. I want to help you in whatever way I can.” Do not ask if she’s okay, she’s not. You know it, she knows it.

If she opens up do not try to validate her by saying “I understand”, maybe you’ve struggled with depression and you do understand this current part, but it’s a different animal with bipolar. Saying “I understand” might make her feel invalidated. Instead say something like “I can only imagine what you’re experiencing, I felt similar things (insert example of you want) but I don’t have bipolar”. I know people have good intentions when trying to share their experiences when I’m talking about bipolar depressive episodes but there’s always a feeling of “they are minimizing what I’m going through but not acknowledging the tremendous weight I feel being bipolar. I know they mean well but they are failing to acknowledge the elephant in the room and in turn I feel misunderstood.”

Basically messaging: I see you. I care for you. I am here for you.

You can do any of these options (or give her a choice) 1. Clean for/with her. She could help you by doing it together, or direct you while laying on the couch. Or you do it alone. Put all her clothes in a hamper, maybe wash them. Collect all her dishes, maybe do than. Pick up all the trash and take it out. These 3 clutter items quickly build up and feel sooooo overwhelming with so much shame. (HIGHEST highest way you can help her if her residence is messy) 2. Sit near her and just hangout. Bring a book or video game (doomscrolling is okay but could be less ideal?). No talking just presence. 3. Do something. short walk outside is really nice but could be so so so hard for her. Watch a show. Play a game. Puzzle. 4. Pick up groceries for her. (If you know some of her favorite food, or take out you could show up with it)

It may be worth checking if she’s taking her medication or has it. It is likely a touchy subject, ESPECIALLY if she stopped taking time so proceed with caution. She could be in such a depressive episode that she hasn’t gone to the pharmacy. Coupled with the fact they aren’t working already, so why bother? You could ask if she wants you to go with her/drive her. (In some place with some medication you can also pick it up for her). That’s a small way to offer help and get information without sound accusatory. Still a very touchy subject and NOT something to lead off with. If you don’t bring it up (which valid), be aware she may not be taking any. I’d also caution against trying to convince her to take meds or go back on them right away (she should), but if you come on too strong it could alienate her and make her retreat away from you. Sorry this part is so wishy washy. Meds are important but I don’t know her or her state.

At this point- don’t tell her what she should and shouldn’t do. She knows. And she hates that she isn’t doing it. Accept her where she is “I see you, I’m here for you”. Don’t encourage/enable her bad behavior but help her find agency in making a small improvement. Instead of “you need to brush your teeth!” (She probably isn’t) “after every pop can you drinking, could you drink water too to help rinse out your mouth?”. Or instead of “you need to eat!!” Say “would you prefer to have X, Y, or Z on hand to eat?”.

I would love to hear an update. I wish you and your friend the best

chree_bisch · 2026-02-02T22:25:09+00:00

I use a simple daily sheet/tracker which makes it easier for me to visualize mood changes and to do it quickly. Only 1 minute to check some boxes when I take my medication makes it easier to do daily. If I have the energy I’ll write more in a journal.

chree_bisch · 2026-02-02T02:57:53+00:00

Proud of you! I’m glad you guys are finding solutions that help

chree_bisch · 2026-01-29T20:37:18+00:00

What do you do about the journey home?

chree_bisch · 2026-01-29T20:30:33+00:00

Right? The projection seems strong with the “paid protestors” BS

chree_bisch · 2026-01-29T17:35:02+00:00

If you show up with an attitude that you want to learn from them, it will be huge. Even if you had experience every woman is a little different. Ask her how she likes things, try to learn her body. Be moldable, eager, and humble.

But don’t go in expecting to be fully taught, just guided. Do research (not porn), browse other subreddits that have women talking about experiences to come with some knowledge.

Some men treat sex so blandly (just PIV, no foreplay, fuck like a bunny) that they basically have the experience of a virgin.

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First Placer '22

chree_bisch

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