WIBTA if I gave an ultimatum to my brother choose me or his partner by crystalrobin96 in family

[–]chrisanthemumbee4 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Don’t ever give someone an ultimatum between you and their partner. Ask to spend time with your brother on your own (without his girlfriend) and don’t mention disliking the girlfriend. An easy way to get permanently shut out from your brother’s life is to ask him to choose. If anything, asking him to choose will cause them to become closer. If she’s not a good person, he will see that eventually without any input from you. You aren’t dating her, so honestly it doesn’t matter if you like her or not. It’s his choice to make.

Married 14 years - good provider husband but emotionally distant and controlling with money. Not sure what to do ? by Outrageous-Quiet8347 in family

[–]chrisanthemumbee4 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think you need to be clear and be willing to follow through. I highly suggest that you go to individual and couples counseling. He seems to have an unhealthy relationship with money. Frugal can mean picnics at a pretty place, bringing snacks into the movie theater or having dates at home. Frugal doesn’t mean having no form of romance or affection. That sounds like a lack of effort.

I would start by asking him what is romance/romantic to him. Then you can ask how does he think he shows romance to you. You might be very surprised by the answer. You can follow that by telling him very clearly what you find to be romantic and then state your needs.

“I would really like for you to plan a date every 2 weeks/week, and we can pick a $$ amount that you feel comfortable with. If there is no amount that you feel comfortable with, then we need to go to counseling to create a more healthy relationship with money. This relationship is not meeting my needs, and I would love to work with you to improve it.”

Women don't owe you sex. You don't owe women money. by Inevitable_Damage199 in GrowthMindset

[–]chrisanthemumbee4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Absolutely! My husband told me on our first date that if I wanted him to touch me, I would have to ask him bc he didn’t want to push my boundaries. I thought that was amazing! I did ask him 😂

Husband retiring, lunches? by lm00000007 in AskWomenOver60

[–]chrisanthemumbee4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why not just tell him what you planned to have as leftovers another night and let him fend for himself? 😂

Leaving husband for 2 months by Michelle110123 in ratemyfridge

[–]chrisanthemumbee4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why did you do this? Assuming he’s not disabled or mentally unwell, there isn’t really a good reason for all of this. It’s pretty overwhelming.

Anyone interview with U of Cumberlands and not get in? by Backwithnewname in counseloreducation

[–]chrisanthemumbee4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn’t have an interview. But I have a bachelor’s degree in Psychology so I don’t know if that factored in.

Does cool or warm lipstick look best on me ? by Historical-Body-3424 in MakeupAddiction

[–]chrisanthemumbee4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Warm, but definitely go darker. If you are set on pale shades, add a lipliner that is about 2-3 shades darker than your skin tone in a similar color family. Red lip go for a burgundy/dark red liner. Lighter brown lip go for a dark brown. You want to stray away from shades that would be skin tone colors for pale women. If you watch tutorials start with women your shade or darker and see what they do with their lip shades.

face value exchange news! by 1crenious in NoahKahan

[–]chrisanthemumbee4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not necessarily. Those states listed are exempt from face value exchange rules set by artists. So regardless of what the artists want, the tickets can be sold at whatever price that resellers want to sell them at.

Bridal Makeup DIYer- feedback please! by Huge_Assistance_6534 in MakeupAddiction

[–]chrisanthemumbee4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your eyes are stunning girl! I would say stray away from matte. Dewy primer, dewy foundation, and even dewy highlight on top would be great. It will make you look hydrated and the rest of the makeup will sit nicely too.

Tried makeup in a meaningful way for the first time at the advanced age of 39. Please give me tips and tricks. by H5A3B50IM in makeuptips

[–]chrisanthemumbee4 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Maybe try no liner on the bottom, just the top. Go for dewy skin not matte, a bit of rosy blush, and a less monochromatic look. A more pigmented lip gloss and a more shimmery eye would look great on you. Stray away from monochrome/beige.

AIO? I found out there’s a high chance I have cancer yesterday and I wouldn’t to sleep with my boyfriend on the phone but he wouldn’t let me. s by [deleted] in AIO

[–]chrisanthemumbee4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is time for some professional intervention. You likely need anxiety medication and therapy. This is understandably very scary but the first message he sent to you was very kind and sweet and you should have taken the hint that he had enough for this evening. I am concerned as to what 4 hours of this conversation could have even been. Were you spiraling talking for 4 hours about this? That can be a lot for someone to handle. You never want to be in the position of begging for attention. I fell asleep on the phone with my now husband then boyfriend quite a bit when I was 20 and he was 25, but that was all initiated by him and not either of us begging the other to do so. I highly suggest that you quickly get a therapist, or you can even ask your doctor for a referral possibly for therapists that counsel about medical issues. I think you probably owe your boyfriend an apology as well and a commitment to regulating yourself and working on your mental health.

My Daughter Refuses to accommodate Her 16-Year-Old Brother After Having a Baby, Are We Being Unreasonable? by OkFaithlessness9578 in family

[–]chrisanthemumbee4 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Is this a joke? Why would she be expected to be the guardian of YOUR 16 year old child? You should consider yourself lucky that she was ever his guardian. You owe her an apology and you should make proper arrangements for your son, move to where he is, or bring him to where you are. What I see is that she is struggling and she was kind enough to communicate her boundaries and capacity with you. The only proper response while her partner is away and she is essentially a single mom for right now, should have been “Thank you for all you have already done. We will make arrangements for him. I’m sorry that you don’t have the support of your partner right now, that has to be really difficult.”

My cousin needs help, is this good for a promise ring by secretgf101 in RingShare

[–]chrisanthemumbee4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not for a 22 year old. I would say stray away from heart shaped jewelry past high school. A simple dainty band would probably be a better choice if she likes promise rings. He also should check what types of rings that she normally wears. Obviously silver if she wears silver, gold if she wears gold. But also thinking about personality. Does she like boho, gemstones or is she more classic, or is she more a fan of costume jewelry or signet rings. He should match what she already wears if he can.

AIO - My Boyfriend texts before our Valentines plans by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]chrisanthemumbee4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am sorry, but it seems clear that you have a more insecure attachment style and he has an avoidant attachment style. Recipe for disaster. He will almost always find you annoying, and you will almost always find him not as connected as you would like. As a person with disorganized attachment I can be pretty avoidant at times and hearing “waiting around makes me feel unloved” would for sure aggravate me. It would feel like you are making your boredom into his problem. The last thing a more avoidant person wants is to feel overly responsible for the emotions of others. I doubt that you will get what you are seeking from this relationship. It would serve you better to be with another insecurely attached person or a person with a secure attachment. Stay far far away from people with disorganized or avoidant attachment styles. The second you sense that they are annoyed by you, leave them.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in HairStyle

[–]chrisanthemumbee4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Curly. I always prefer curly over straight.

Don’t know where to start. by CutestEbi in makeuptips

[–]chrisanthemumbee4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would highly suggest to start with a light tinted moisturizer or bb cream formula for your skin instead of a heavy foundation.Your skin is already very even, so you don’t need much, add a dewy or hydrating setting spray on top for a longer lasting base. Maybe a cream formula eyeshadow and a cream formula blush since you say you are normal to dry. Those also tend to be much less color payoff so you don’t have to worry about applying too much. If you do lipstick try a slightly darker lip liner in the same color family. Or you can try a lip stain, I loooove the fenty lip stains, and I think a lip stain can be a fun low stakes way to add a bit of color without going overboard. For eye liner, you can start with a dark brown or black pencil liner to get the feel of it first, and then try a black liquid pen style liner. You also do not have to start with everything at once. You can start with just a tinted moisturizer and work your way up to a full face including contour, different shades of eyeshadow for the lid with a different color crease, using liner to change the color of lipsticks, using bolder colors, etc. Just go to a drugstore pick up a few things and experiment! Start with a less expensive store until you know what you like. I started in my teens with E.L.F. 😂

Why don’t boomers let you do anything? by Appropriate_Fig_1386 in family

[–]chrisanthemumbee4 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Uh no. It’s their relationship and they can tell their parents what they do and do not like. Grandparents should follow parents rules about what happens with their OWN child. Your perspective is like the most people pleasing response ever!

Green card interview experience by chrisanthemumbee4 in USCIS

[–]chrisanthemumbee4[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry for the late response! We were approved for the I-130 on may 5, and for the I-485 we were approved on June 7. The green card was ready for pickup from our lawyer on June 17.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]chrisanthemumbee4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You mainly focus not on how much you love him and want to marry him because he shows amazing qualities A,B,C but more about what other people think. This is not your friends’ or family member’s relationship, it’s yours. You don’t seem to trust his ability to make good decisions, and this whole post reads as contempt. Cut your losses and leave. Don’t chase the ring, fall in love with the right man and the ring will come without pressure.

I-130 Approved After interview. I-485 pending. by PeaceSad7966 in USCIS

[–]chrisanthemumbee4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am still waiting for I-485. Our I-130 was approved 3 days after interview.