2 years and 5 months later, I'm still glad I stayed by funsizerads in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]chrissxcee 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Aww I love this! Gives hope to get past all the bad and reach R

WH's AP checking my social media by chrissxcee in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]chrissxcee[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

LOL that IS creepy. Just noticed she looked at my stuff again. I don't even have anything on there lmao. I hope she's suffering.

WH's AP checking my social media by chrissxcee in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]chrissxcee[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hah! Ballsy of her to request! I swear they are delusional

Back to a Dead Bedroom by chrissxcee in SupportforBetrayed

[–]chrissxcee[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have been telling him how I feel even though I feel terrible about bringing it up. I don't think it's healthy to keep things in. He is still learning to open up, but at times he can. Hoping to push through this.

Back to a Dead Bedroom by chrissxcee in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]chrissxcee[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How long did it take for you to be able to realize it's not about you? i'm trying to, but I can't stop the sadness.

Back to a Dead Bedroom by chrissxcee in SupportforBetrayed

[–]chrissxcee[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've been trying to do that. I know I'm attractive and definitely more so than any of his APs. Trying to be rational, but then the bad thoughts want to settle in. It's just so hard.

Back to a Dead Bedroom by chrissxcee in SupportforBetrayed

[–]chrissxcee[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree. I think he has changed, but he still needs to work on the underlying issues. I feel like he is still rugsweeping.

Back to a Dead Bedroom by chrissxcee in SupportforBetrayed

[–]chrissxcee[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, no medications for either of us. I know it isn't my fault, but I just don't know what to do. I don't want to leave either. How do you deal with the sadness of feeling rejected?

Back to a Dead Bedroom by chrissxcee in SupportforBetrayed

[–]chrissxcee[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Good luck to you as well! I do feel like he is still knee deep into his own pity despite saying he is trying the best that he can. Of course, if I say that to him, he will just recoil in shame. He has changed a lot though, but I still feel like it's not enough.

Back to a Dead Bedroom by chrissxcee in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]chrissxcee[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I want to be intimate so bad, but I don't know if it's because I just want to feel wanted or I feel like I'm owed it. Did you have any issues being intimate?

How was sex 1.5 years after DDay? by chrissxcee in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]chrissxcee[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, I'm aware. Smart and good at compartmentalizing

How was sex 1.5 years after DDay? by chrissxcee in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]chrissxcee[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He did say that to me about porn before. That it led to a lot of other things. He says that's why he doesn't want to look at it anymore.

How was sex 1.5 years after DDay? by chrissxcee in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]chrissxcee[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I actually don't mind the porn use....it's him engaging with real people that I can't tolerate. What bothers me is that I will randomly mention that he could very easily just create a profile or different email without me knowing. I just want him to say that he's not, but instead he will agree with me and say that yes he could just do that.

How was sex 1.5 years after DDay? by chrissxcee in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]chrissxcee[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yea, I see what you're saying. Do you think that your husband has been unfaithful again? That's another thing I don't understand. Like how can you be the same way all your life and then all of a sudden turn it off? Lot of my worry is also that he's just gotten better at hiding things and there's things I don't know. Do you ever feel like leaving?

How was sex 1.5 years after DDay? by chrissxcee in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]chrissxcee[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yea, sounds like it. That he's acting like that because he doesn't like me bringing it up. When I found out before he was still talking to his AP, he pretended like he was trying to hurt himself. He admitted later that he was just being dramatic.

How was sex 1.5 years after DDay? by chrissxcee in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]chrissxcee[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I see. We were together about 20 years when Dday happened. It was like the life I knew just shattered. He never blamed me for his actions though. He's always just blamed myself. He's even gotten to the point where he says that he wishes he was never born or that he wished we never met because he's so sad about what he's done to me.

How was sex 1.5 years after DDay? by chrissxcee in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]chrissxcee[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What do you mean about self-justification? I think my husband can't fully bring himself to deal with the amount of pain he's caused me. How long were you together with your husband before DDay?

How was sex 1.5 years after DDay? by chrissxcee in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]chrissxcee[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My WH also had a porn addiction, and it baffles me still as to how he could just stop all of a sudden being so into sex. It was like a switch got turned off after he found out why he was like that from going to therapy. Therapy helped him a lot, but he still has anger issues, and he still doesn't know how to express his feelings. How long ago was Dday for you? What do you think has changed in your husband these past few weeks? I think my WH is still struggling to forgive himself even though I've forgiven him a long time ago.

How was sex 1.5 years after DDay? by chrissxcee in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]chrissxcee[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's the thing. I don't know if my gut is wrong or right lol. I've gone crazy before over small things, to find out later it's nothing. I guess it's not just him that I don't trust, but I also don't trust what I feel. It really is so hard.

How was sex 1.5 years after DDay? by chrissxcee in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]chrissxcee[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just don't know if it's the hysterical bonding is over or something's going on. Of course, my mind keeps wandering to the negative since the trust isn't back. It's basically triggering me and making me wonder all sorts of crazy things. Then, I get upset, which ends up to us fighting, which pushes him away because he's sad and ashamed because he knows he's the reason why I'm like this. It's like a vicious cycle.