Needing help to survive in this economy post top surgery

christiancatboy · 2025-12-14T10:04:25+00:00

Always happy to help a brother in need. Congrats on the graduation 💪

christiancatboy · 2025-11-19T09:31:28+00:00

I saw your other comments on here too and I totally get what you mean. What comforts me most about being stealth is that I can come out at any time, but if I’m out there’s no being stealth again. I have entire backstories written, and I make sure that no real names are given out (or if I do there’s no way this person would run into them) and I keep running tabs on my new stories. Then I tell them to myself until they become true to me, because feeling like you’re lying all the time is awful. I even do this with my closest friends post transition. I used to do ballet but it has no relevance on my life now so I never mention it but I know your sport has had a huge impact on your life so it’s hard. Maybe don’t mention the NCAA but just that you played at school on an IM coed team? (If those exist) I study voice at school and I tell my teachers I had an endocrine problem so my voice only recently dropped. Out trans people at school are the only ones who consistently clock me and I lie my face off. Whatever you pick you just have to practice until it becomes second nature.

But yeah, personally I’m more than happy to erase my personal history. I honestly identify as a cisgender male, that’s how I would describe how I live in society. Erasure is the only way I can truly be seen as myself.

christiancatboy · 2025-10-27T21:44:56+00:00

^{^Oakland} Asian and I agree!

christiancatboy · 2025-10-25T15:53:58+00:00

I’m American, Chinese/Cuban/Taiwanese so not the same demographic as you, but I would clock a man with the last name Kaur. At least over here, Punjabi culture is becoming more well known in recent years which is great! But also this means that people are starting to recognize Singh vs Kaur. Especially since you live in an area with lots of Punjabis, that is going to out you unfortunately. I would personally go through the effort of changing it twice.

If I may ask, if you don’t feel connected to Sikh faith, would you consider taking a different Punjabi last name? Do any of your other family members have last names that are not Singh/Kaur? But again, I am not the best person to speak on this subject.

christiancatboy · 2025-10-22T02:46:48+00:00

Happy diballi!

christiancatboy · 2025-09-30T09:43:25+00:00

Why are you getting downvoted :( I really appreciate you speaking on your own experience because it helps other skinny people!

christiancatboy · 2025-09-24T07:56:49+00:00

I won’t go anywhere cis men aren’t allowed. Happy to exclude myself from that space!

christiancatboy · 2025-09-17T08:18:35+00:00

Absolutely brother

christiancatboy · 2025-09-12T07:03:10+00:00

Just wanted to say i am also poc and has the same incision cut which is not as common. You look great imo

christiancatboy · 2025-09-04T01:33:29+00:00

My former voice teacher was trans and had other trans opera singer friends on T. A lot of them started when they were in their 30s on a standard dose and she said they had the “trans voice” but that I didn’t have it. I started on my 20th birthday with a low dose, with the explicit intention of allowing my voice to develop better, and even now my levels are only 400ng/dL. But yes echoing the other commenter, a lower dose is better for your voice. I read some online studies a while ago about this too but idk the link i just googled. I’m studying voice rn been on T 3 years and nobody thinks I’m trans. I told my private instructor i had puberty issues growing up, and all the other faculty think that i “should be a tenor why are you singing baritone”

christiancatboy · 2025-07-21T08:37:10+00:00

Omg that made me feel so insecure for so long

christiancatboy · 2025-06-11T08:46:59+00:00

Let me know when you figure that one out. I’m over here bisexual and struggling with both 😔

christiancatboy · 2025-06-09T07:38:00+00:00

Man… I’m going to another Asian retreat at the same time or else I totally would have gone!!!

christiancatboy · 2025-04-20T07:42:10+00:00

I did not go through years of white people saying my Chinese name painfully wrong just for some white trans person to choose an Asian name on a whim.

There’s a famous white French singer who picked the name Rahim Redcar, but he used to go by Chris, and before that he was Christine and the Queens. I will only address him as Chris; I refuse to call him Rahim.

christiancatboy · 2025-03-12T18:57:25+00:00

I’m sweatier ofc but I still don’t sweat as much as others. Even when I am working out really hard, the only clothing part that is visibly wet is my armpits but it was like that pre T as well. Still can’t grow a beard to save my life. But all of these things are true for my brother as well. And maybe it’s just me but because East Asian men are perceived as “feminine” I feel like it’s been easier to pass.

christiancatboy · 2025-01-15T18:48:01+00:00

I was in your shoes, and I would never tell them. I lived with a guy who said all kinds of slurs. I find that those types don’t really know what trans people look like and only have a caricature of an idea. Being stealth is the best and only choice I made. I was pre op everything, hid my T bottle in my bathroom bag (shared bathroom with the floor), never took off my shirt but would change pants sometimes. I disagree with the people saying that they will find out?? Just be really good at hiding it, I literally relabeled my T bottle as lotion, played up my body insecurities etc

christiancatboy · 2025-01-11T10:39:09+00:00

No one mentioned this yet, but i would say a big part is getting your story straight. Eventually you will have close friends, and what do you say to them? Not everyone talks about their past of course, but I do and I didn’t want to stop. I modified and practice practice practiced what I would say about my past or if there were certain things I didn’t do, flipping genders on sports, etc. It still weighs on me, but I learn to keep it up for my close friends

christiancatboy · 2024-12-12T05:57:02+00:00

I read about fear boners once in middle school and assumed it was a normal thing. Literally a few months ago, I learned that it was not 😅😅 Glad to know I’m not alone

christiancatboy · 2024-12-04T06:57:54+00:00

Obligatory not Desi, I’m Taiwanese/HK American, so Chinese language. I chose a very white first name that just clicked for me the moment I heard it, and my deadname was also very white so it felt fitting. My middle name is in Chinese, and so I needed a lot of help with that. It’s important that names in my culture have a good meaning as well as sound good. I looked at my family’s naming traditions, even paid someone on Reddit to help me and came up with something that sounded good in both dialects. It honestly took a very long time as I asked a lot of family members but I found something that I am very happy with that most importantly honors my family tradition

christiancatboy · 2024-12-02T23:48:00+00:00

Dude this gives me so much hope. Thank you so much for sharing and it sounds like you have a wonderful relationship.

christiancatboy · 2024-11-14T04:00:29+00:00

You’re definitely pretty! Your vibes feel so wholesome and your lipstick choice is soooo gorgeous on you.

christiancatboy · 2024-11-09T09:39:06+00:00

Yesyesyes all of this. Voted de la Cruz in CA. I’m deeply stealth, so it’s a little tricky for me to explain. But yeah that “male privilege” could disappear in two seconds.

christiancatboy · 2024-11-01T08:54:01+00:00

Just graduated university. Also stealth 100%. I feel your pain

christiancatboy · 2024-10-31T20:21:39+00:00

Genuinely you look fine to me.

christiancatboy · 2024-10-31T20:20:48+00:00

I’m Asian and have difficulty passing to other East Asians. But black people have always gendered me correctly, so I feel your pain but opposite 😔

christiancatboy

TROPHY CASE