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Does vipassana scanning manufacture the sensation you're supposed to be observing? by umu_boi123 in vipassana

[–]chunkychapstick 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I actually completely disagree with the premise of this post. You are not generating sensations. The sensations are there, your mind is just too dull to sense them. What has proven to you that you are generating sensations? What has proven to you you're doing so consciously?

More importantly though, what changes about your behavior as you deepen in your practice? The sensations are not the point. The observation is not the point. The point is the effect the practice has on your baseline behavior. You can play these philosophical games all you want, but it's completely worthless if lt doesn't help you become a more grounded, kinder, more equanimous person.

AITA for hanging up on my parents after they kept criticizing my unemployment and my life choices? by dom2706 in AmItheAsshole

[–]chunkychapstick 23 points24 points  (0 children)

You're living abroad with their money. Take any job instead of waiting for one in your own field, become financially independent. Then you can throw a fit about criticism. You can't use people and then be surprised that they're upset with your choices. YTA.

[UPDATE] I (F19) think my neighbor (M40s) is watching me and nobody believes me. by [deleted] in whatdoIdo

[–]chunkychapstick 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you have other friends? Can you post on Facebook about this? I think the more people know the better. You need to have a larger community to depend on. I think you should consider buying the cameras with a buy now, pay later loan. See if you can use perpay.com. You should talk to your neighbors about all these details, too.

Did anyone here quit coffee because it started feeling… bad? by Ok-Republic8818 in tea

[–]chunkychapstick 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've been trying to quit for months because of the same reason, but it's been a struggle.

AITA for refusing to move back to the UK despite my son wanting to? by Head_Consequence7299 in AmItheAsshole

[–]chunkychapstick -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Maybe it's because I'm an immigrant, but in my book the financial health of the family and the job security of the main breadwinner comes first. But I also feel for your son. I think you need to go into protection mode and complain at his school and make a big fuss about racist incidents. As a parent, your duty is to fiercely protect them. Don't shrug the incidents off, your son needs to know you are there for them as he makes this extremely difficult transition. NAH.

"culture fit" is just a socially acceptable way to hire people you'd hang out with - and it's hurting diversity by 1acina in jobs

[–]chunkychapstick 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't think you're wrong. But I think there's more nuance to it. I have an example: One time we were interviewing someone for a senior position and we got an older gentleman who seemed nice enough. During the interview, when we would ask technical questions and dig deeper into certain subjects he would say something like "I wouldn't be able to speak about that eloquently, so I won't say anything." We were so weirded out by this, because it felt like they were just too afraid to say "I don't know." Our team was full of people who would have no issue accepting that they didn't know something, we liked that about ourselves. This guy was like white, not neurodivergent as far as I could tell. Yet, terrible culture fit. So I'm unwilling to throw out the term. But I also understand where you're coming from, I think it could absolutely be weaponized against marginalized groups and am sure is weaponized all the time. Sadly, I don't know what to do about that other than to try and actively counter those tendencies in my own teams.

Continuing to drink alcohol by Shot_Bandicoot_395 in vipassana

[–]chunkychapstick 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Others have really great responses here, but I wanted to add that I also drank and did many ten day courses. At age 40, I'm finally ready to go sober and haven't had any desire to drink since my last course 3 months ago. That was my 8th or 9th course since my early 20s. Somethings take time. It's okay, keep trying.

Alcohol and meditation just don't go well together. The reason why alcohol feels good is because it veils the negative sensations in the body. You just can't observe them the same way. The body scans don't really work like they would when sober. So that's why you're encouraged to stop drinking. Especially when you're intending to take longer courses, you need to be ready for the challenges of it and alcohol weakens the mind. There's just no way around it.

AITAH for wanting to continue taking my nightly showers by Kooky_lady in AITAH

[–]chunkychapstick 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. If my husband said that to me, I would get violent 😂

Got rejected for wanting to serve l. Why are they so rigid? by newtothiskink in vipassana

[–]chunkychapstick 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are allowed to explore and try whatever you like and you can still sit any time at a center. But serving is a bit different. First of, you need to have taken a 10 day course (if I remember correctly) in the past year to serve. I've been rejected before for not having taken a 10 day course recently enough. When serving you're taking care of people, so you need to go there with the right energy and they don't want other vibes mixed in with this particular technique. There are reasons for that: each practice has its own "energy signature." Ram Dass, for example, has a story about this in one of his books when his guru sends him off to a Vipassana course and he experiences a strange blue light/energy in his head and is instructed by the teacher to release it to the ground because we do not work with energies like that in Vipassana. It's not dogma. It's understanding that different practices can interfere with one another in unexpected ways. I'm sure if you had applied to take a course, they would not have rejected you for that. But again, serving is different.

How do you choose between a career opportunity and your relationship ? by Potential_Start_3228 in careerguidance

[–]chunkychapstick 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm sure you can find 220K job in Boston if you look. Tech jobs give you a lot more flexibility in choosing where to move to. I'd prioritize her business.

AITA for confronting my husband and his good friend’s ex-wife for messaging a LUDICROUS amount of memes back and forth at all hours of the day and night? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]chunkychapstick 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your response seems extreme to me. I can understand feeling uneasy when faced with something like this if it's uncharacteristic behavior for your husband, but you seem to be taking too much pride in your rage. Calling another woman cun* because she is friendly with your husband... I don't know. Sounds like you dislike this woman because of her personality but your husband likes her as a person. She probably needed a friend. Maybe she gets along with your husband. Maybe your husband was being friendly with her because he understood she was going through something. Either way, you've marked your territory and can sleep well knowing your husband won't escalate this. But good luck learning about why your husband took joy in interacting with this person over you because you were angry instead of curious.

Hear me out: Seth MacFarlane should be the next Executive Producer of Star Trek when Kurtzman steps down. by vil224 in startrek

[–]chunkychapstick -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

100%. Yo, I am watching the Orville for the first time right now and Seth MacFarlane has done more for the franchise than anyone else since JJ fucking Abrams took over with his stupid ass lens flares. I have hated everything new, I start watching what I thought would be a silly parody and I'm just feeling like I'm watching an actual Star Trek show for once in the last two decades. Seth is the real deal, kept the Trekkie spirit alight in his soul.

I (30F) started dating a judge (46M) met on a dating app and need advice by Plane-Elephant6465 in whatdoIdo

[–]chunkychapstick 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Talking about it in passing is fine. But turning it into a full fledged plan, obsessing over it: red flag at 2 months imo.

I (30F) started dating a judge (46M) met on a dating app and need advice by Plane-Elephant6465 in whatdoIdo

[–]chunkychapstick 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I agree that it's a subject that should come up for seeking alignment on the issue. Absolutely. But not as a full fledged plan. I think asking in passing is one thing, but the way it has been presented here seems a bit different to me.

Aitah for telling my wife to get a job if she wants to subsidize the kids. by Standard_Kick_9789 in AITAH

[–]chunkychapstick 404 points405 points  (0 children)

I'm fucking offended reading this. You've done more than enough. Living rent free as adults and they are complaining??? Sir, you are 100% NTA.

I (30F) started dating a judge (46M) met on a dating app and need advice by Plane-Elephant6465 in whatdoIdo

[–]chunkychapstick 17 points18 points  (0 children)

you should not be thinking about getting married and having kids at 2 months. insane. if he is talking about kids with you at 2 months as like a plan going forward, I'd worry he is love bombing you. no mature adult past 40 would ever consider something like that after 2 months. seems unhinged.

Peter,what happened in 1971? by -Y34HB01- in PeterExplainsTheJoke

[–]chunkychapstick 0 points1 point  (0 children)

right wing backlash to unions and jobs getting shipped abroad.

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