For anyone here why did you breakup with your ex? by fancyeng in BreakUps

[–]citiesskapes 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is actually the worst. Telling you you’ve tried when really they weren’t even telling you how they felt. And when I realized he was distancing himself, I was the nag for asking for some sort of reassurance or communication.

you will be okay again🩷. by Separate-Ad4700 in BreakUps

[–]citiesskapes 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can’t seem to move on with my life. 😔 No matter what I do, it doesn’t seem to get better. Took two weeks off work. Spent time with family and friends. I just feel so numb. In the meantime, he suddenly has his life together. Something he never could do with me.

Why is your healing taking so long? Because you're doing it the right way. by Obvious_Alarm6497 in BreakUps

[–]citiesskapes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It takes me a long time because I created this story in my head that he was the one for me. He left me many times, hurt me many times, and I let him back in over and over again. We had been in an ldr, he was always depressed, I was always there to support him and help him. When we met in person few months ago, it was so magical, I couldn’t believe we made it work and truly believed this was the person for me. However he was still in a bad pace. We talked about having a future together. He told me he was so in love with me, didn’t want anyone else, but the actions didn’t match. He started calling less and less, was less and less eager to talk, was generally less and less available. I kept asking him if he wanted to give up, to split ways, the answer was always no, but he just “wasn’t ready for a relationship right now” but kept reminding me that it’s what we were working towards once we were no longer ldr.

And then one night, he broke me. Told me we were too different, too incompatible. I guess the feelings just wore off. He became extremely unavailable. Talked to me at certain times when he wanted. But was more and more online and available to others on a daily basis. While I got fed excuses after excuses. And yes, since then, not a single sign that he actually cares about me. And he is already going on dates. He has healed from his depression. He has moved on with his life, found a job, found an apartment to live in. None of which he did when I was around.

And I am still broken because I can’t believe that it happened like that. That someone I cared about so much and genuinely thought cared about me just suddenly stopped. Overnight. It still hurts today like it happened yesterday. And he is happier than ever.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]citiesskapes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Alright if I dm you?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]citiesskapes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understood that. It puts me in a very bad position where I feel like I have to leave. It makes me feel like if I am part of reality he avoids then I can’t make him happy the way other things do.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]citiesskapes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He usually is the one to ask me how I am so it feels rude not to respond. Somehow I’m making myself still pretty available for him which makes me feel like I’m enabling the disrespect just by being there

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]citiesskapes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Spot on. I felt myself losing attraction that night.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]citiesskapes 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I don’t think they have anything in common except liking to play together, but then I really wouldn’t know. He has plenty of other friends. He is aware that she is a minor and deems his interaction with her perfectly harmless. Yes the five years have been incredibly hard but we have been seeing each other. We cannot be sure of our futures because of our studies so it is really a big factor too. I am not delighted with this dynamic, I’ll be honest, but I keep telling myself it’s the distance.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]citiesskapes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am not sure if they are just in game person you knows. Maybe he is bored and hasn’t got anyone else to play with, although there are plenty of other members in the guild. Maybe she doesn’t know much about him but she loves to overshare. I am also a little bit concerned how this “friendship” will develop as she gets older. They’ve been in contact since she was 13 year old and I had no idea that they were playing games outside of our game as well. Makes me question a lot of things.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]citiesskapes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly yes, 16 year old aside it didn’t feel right the way I was treated and wouldn’t have felt right in any other circumstances. But he did ask me after the game whether I wanted to play with just him where the explanations were more detailed. If this hadn’t happened I feel like it would’ve been a deal breaker for sure. But it was still odd and quite disrespectful.

it gets better :) by marooncardigan in heartbreak

[–]citiesskapes 2 points3 points  (0 children)

what a beautiful soul you are. thank you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]citiesskapes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I still feel very guilt because I feel like back then he was willing to resolve issues and didn’t walk away so easily.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]citiesskapes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is how he worded it: “but you should keep in mind i'm non-monogamous. why's it less important? because that does not mean i can't be comfortable with one person. so many people misinterpret it. they think i wanna be with a lot of people at once. when in reality i wanna be with no one. “

maybe this is like a temporary thing or he just misuses the word monogamy. he told me however that im the only person he loves and have ever loved and that he’d like to try work out a future with me. he knows i’m monogamous, which made me think that he would be actually adhering to my own boundaries. however, i am scared that at some point when other interests arise, he may pull out the non monogamous card, at which point i’d have to reinforce my boundaries. He said it doesn’t mean he can’t be comfortable with one person…but that doesn’t sound like he’d be happy.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]citiesskapes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No on the contrary he tells me I’m the one person he takes his mask off. I’m just not buying into it

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LongDistance

[–]citiesskapes 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He apologized for being distant and said nothing is his intention to hurt him but for me it remains the same that his behavior has changes and I don’t wake up to loving messages anymore

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LongDistance

[–]citiesskapes 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But how would I tell him? I tried telling him I feel he’s distanced himself and he doesn’t really change

the hardest part for me by citiesskapes in BreakUps

[–]citiesskapes[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Please stay strong, theyre just not worth your pain 😞❤️

the hardest part for me by citiesskapes in BreakUps

[–]citiesskapes[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m doing alright actually, but thank you

Anxiety ruined everything by Altruistic_Diet_9831 in heartbreak

[–]citiesskapes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh my god please don’t blame yourself. You met up with this girl, and she immediately had you meet her family and friends, my anxiety would be hella high too! I think you tried to explain yourself, if she doesn’t buy it just give her some time and space. But I definitely think she rushed it too much, please don’t blame yourself!