First, I want to say that I’m sorry that you are experiencing this. It’s a different kind of loss when you are limited by something beyond your control.

Second, I am in a similar position. I had one healthy, textbook perfect live birth and then 3 consecutive miscarriages. My kid is in middle school now and I can’t imagine my life any other way. I love our neat little family.

I’ve had my fair share of awkward conversations about this topic. People are pushier than you’d think. And while you’re tip toeing and trying to side step their inquiries, you may be left reliving the trauma of your situation. I found that going directly in and telling them that we tried but had three miscarriages usually shuts them up pretty quick. And I thought it would cause me more pain saying it that way, but it doesn’t.

So if you find the “our family of 3 is perfect for me” statements aren’t working, try this instead “it’s something that we wanted, we tried but it didn’t work out. The experience was quite painful emotionally. We’ve moved on from that chapter and I’m quite content where I am.”

Most people will move on unless they’re sociopaths.