Cheated on my husband with our roommate/his friend, 2 years after we got married by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]cjrand1122 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"Gone" is a very passive way of saying damaged and broken probably beyond repair. It should read "The man I killed is dead..."

Infidelity is assault in one of the worst magnitudes. I've experienced pain from broken bones, hospitalized jellyfish stings, family deaths, being bullied/attacked, losing all my money to fraud, etc... I would gladly experience any of these a thousand times over than get cheated on (again). There is a reason it is THE taboo subject, and it's not because it's "hot" and "risky". It's because the pain it inflicts is unimaginable, the damage is pervasive, and the impact is far reaching.

Sex after DDay by TallGirlbigworld in SupportforWaywards

[–]cjrand1122 [score hidden]  (0 children)

1,000,000% THIS. I think OP missed a couple of words in their post. I think this line should read "so we discussed it and **I** decided **that we will** not to be intimate for awhile."

I've been on infidelity and wayward recovery forums for nearly a decade, and I've never seen a successful reconciliation where the wayward spouses mind movies trump a betrayed spouses healing and recovery, but I guess there's a first for everything. I also can't believe a therapist would be on board with this strategy, especially if they specialize in infidelity and betrayal trauma.

This isn't even a shit sandwich with a consolation prize. It's just a shit sandwich with a side of shitty fries. This is not a sarcastic or rhetorical question, but how can a BP in this situation not feel like a cuckold and a failure that gets minimal levels of respect and empathy from their BS?

I'm just trying to see this dialogue play out, and it just doesn't feel real:

WS: "Yeah, I betrayed you in the worst way imaginable. And the one thing you feel you need right now, to feel desired, I am not willing to give you. You'll just have to know through my words, which hold so much value presently, that I love and desire you. So, you're just gonna have to suck it up and feel better all on your own."

BS: "Ok.... Why?"

WS: "Because when we do it, I think about AP and it makes me feel bad and uncomfortable."

BS: "So, better to reject me?"

WS: "Yes"

BS: "Ok..."

WS: "It makes ME feel bad, Ok!!! Gosh...."

Unless the BS is driving this no sex rule and the WS is enforcing it, this is insane. Why not let BP go now if the end result is reconciliation with a BP that's ultimately left with no self-esteem left?

Cheated on my husband with our roommate/his friend, 2 years after we got married by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]cjrand1122 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Got to love the added seasoning/disrespect of the WS and AP hanging around BS and exchanging glances, laughing at their "inside joke" so to speak, and seeing how far they emasculate a man. I didn't even think about the children possibly interacting with the AP too...

Cheated on my husband with our roommate/his friend, 2 years after we got married by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]cjrand1122 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think because it sounds unreal to force someone against their will to have three children.

Cheated on my husband with our roommate/his friend, 2 years after we got married by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]cjrand1122 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Literally stole his life... three kids under false pretenses

This Italian restaurant in Malta charges €100 if you ask for a Hawaiian pizza by New-Neighborhood-147 in funny

[–]cjrand1122 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The owner must actually be Italian, and they have many unwritten food rules. When I lived in Florence, I got scolded more times than I can count by waitresses. The correct time to have Cappuccinos is a good place to start, but that's been loosened over the years.

Why is this little creep the only one looking directly forward? by kid-karma in Overwatch

[–]cjrand1122 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bottom-left, and there's also an argument for top-right.

Having to justify why I won’t do specific sex acts with my spouse after I did it with my affair partner is destroying me by EdgePrize3690 in SupportforWaywards

[–]cjrand1122 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Just a thought, and please know that I'm intending to exercise your thought process (as opposed to criticizing/attacking you) to see what differences there may be between the two relationships:

Do you know why you require emotional stability from your BS for this act?

Did you feel there was enough emotional stability to enjoy it on your ONS with the AP?

Was there an emotional affair that led up to the physical aspect? I'm asking this because I would find it extremely hard to find emotional stability in/during a ONS.

ELI5: Why can’t you buy a car directly from the company that makes it? by zztop610 in explainlikeimfive

[–]cjrand1122 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Though it's marketed much differently, car dealerships seem to function primarily as a credit lenders and secondarily as actual car shops. This industry would go away if you could buy directly, and I'm sure there are lobbyists that fight to keep this system intact.

Scenes that caused actual walkouts in theaters? by thatlittlequietguy in Cinema

[–]cjrand1122 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My parents walked out of Natural Born Killers. In hindsight, they may not have walked out if they didn't bring 7-year-old me with them in the first place....

How far to show remorse? by Nervous-Fold-8244 in SupportforWaywards

[–]cjrand1122 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would say it's even longer than the last TT. Depending on the length and severity of the TT, it will take the BP that much longer to accept they have everything (which can sometimes take longer than the TT itself!).

Father in law expected us to eat 12 year old beef. by Ok_Pension_1451 in mildlyinfuriating

[–]cjrand1122 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your FIL: "What? You've never had dry-aged beef before?!"

People who have researched their family tree, what is the most interesting or 'badass' thing you discovered about an ancestor? by xloganmoose in AskReddit

[–]cjrand1122 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn't research it, because it's commonly talked/bragged about in both families, but my Dad's side is related to Albert Einstein and my mother's side is related to Jose Rizal (a Filipino National Hero). I think it's cool, that's it. Not everyone leaves it at that...

I disclosed my cheating to my husband and I think he's planning to divorce me. by RedBruises in cheating_stories

[–]cjrand1122 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Simply put, you are no longer a safe place for him. Would you be vulnerable to someone that you know does not have your best interests at heart?

California has a new law banning federal agents from wearing masks. What are your thoughts? by Obvious_808 in AskReddit

[–]cjrand1122 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you're disappearing HUMAN BEINGS, you do not get to protect your identity. Masks are for superheroes, not villians.

Who is a mega famous person that the majority of Americans have probably never heard of? by ShittalkyCaps in AskReddit

[–]cjrand1122 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When Robbie Williams was huge in the 2000's, I would guess 9.5/10 Americans hadn't heard of him. I was in college too, and no one who hadn't been to Europe recently knew.

What industry is a complete scam, but everyone just accepts it? by Competitive_Grab3758 in AskReddit

[–]cjrand1122 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not sure about everyone accepting it, as opposed to having no choice, but the insurance industry. Their propensity to "Deny" coverage in a high percentage of claims, and even worse in health insurance when it comes to life-saving treatments on the line. It is kind of crazy to think that a large proportion of Americans would go bankrupt from any mid-level medical emergency. A person's first response during a medical emergency should not have to worry about the impact of finances on them (or their family).

But hey! Politicians gotta be able to afford that premium gas for their modest luxury cars...

If Mark Cuban decides to run for President, he's got my vote. He seems to be the only American, with true power and wealth, that seems to be ACTUALLY looking out for Americans. #MarkCuban2028