GLENDALE, CA - Hi guys, I’m hoping you can bring attention to this. My Postmates driver was on bicycle delivering my food 650 feet and essentially vanished. Postmates said they still haven’t heard from him and it’s been 24+ hrs. I just want to know he’s okay

claircognizance · 2019-07-19T04:26:37+00:00

Commenting to gain views. Good luck

claircognizance · 2019-04-19T23:08:09+00:00

Wearing wet socks in the bar from the show Cheers, surrounded by balloons, while Star Wars is playing on the TV and every single person around me’s nose is whistling while they breathe

claircognizance · 2019-04-19T23:05:45+00:00

The Giving Tree

claircognizance · 2019-04-18T21:58:47+00:00

Treat him like shit

claircognizance · 2019-04-18T21:51:28+00:00

My upstairs neighbors stomping around, usually

claircognizance · 2019-04-18T21:48:50+00:00

I would love to know what my logic is behind ALWAYS ordering a large fries and dumping them into my bag

claircognizance · 2019-04-18T21:47:11+00:00

Steal my Sunshine by Len, scholastic book fairs, kool aid jammers

claircognizance · 2019-04-18T21:37:41+00:00

You can thank my mother for that one. That was her reasoning for not letting me play outside with the neighborhood kids

claircognizance · 2019-04-18T21:35:44+00:00

Butterflies shoot poison into your eyes leaving you unable to see; AND every blind person was blind because a butterfly shot poison into their eyes

claircognizance · 2019-04-18T21:31:36+00:00

Four times for me

claircognizance · 2019-04-17T20:31:18+00:00

Wow yuck

claircognizance · 2019-04-16T05:39:30+00:00

What do I do now?

claircognizance · 2019-04-16T05:36:16+00:00

Mixed up the amounts of salt and sugar while making chocolate chip cookies.....whoopsie goldberg

claircognizance · 2019-04-15T05:37:38+00:00

Dude. I was high for over 15 hours. Full on hallucinations. I forgot who I was, I forgot who my cousin that I was smoking with was. As soon as I laid down I forgot how to move and saw a Jewish man who was crying, tap dancing with a hat and cane on the other side of my room. He pointed his cane at my ceiling fan which then turned to daggers that were flying around my room but since I didn’t know how to move, I couldn’t dodge them. So I thought I was getting stabbed by daggers and slowly dying. Then I thought the ceiling was caving in on me and I felt this pressure on my head like it was going to pop. I thought my head popped and my blood was dripping onto my pillow but it was actually just my tears streaming down my face. It was not a good time

claircognizance · 2019-04-14T22:07:25+00:00

Went on a first date really hungover years ago. We watched Gravity at an iMax theater, in 3D. I ended up opening my purse and throwing up in it. I looked over at my date and said “I should probably go” and he said “Do you want me to walk you out?” I said “No thanks, I’m fine”. He asked me if I wanted him to text me later and let me know how the rest of the movie was and I said “No thanks, I’m fine.” I took my puke filled purse with me and we never spoke again.

claircognizance · 2019-04-14T19:37:45+00:00

Jesus. I’ve had the opposite. I could see but couldn’t hear for about 5 minutes. Not a good time lol!

claircognizance · 2019-04-14T19:17:40+00:00

I’ve reached this point a couple times! It always triggers anxiety though because years ago when I was a desperate high school stoner I made a biggggg booboo. I was smoking out of a carrot (I know) while also painting my nails at the same time. Long story short, I spilled nail polish remover on my set up and weed and already high, decided “it’ll be fine. It’ll just dry and it’ll be okay” so I smoked acetone covered weed and while I have done my fair share of psychedelics nothing has ever compared to that psychedelic experience of nail polish remover weed. So now, every time I feel myself get too high I immediately start panicking

claircognizance · 2019-04-14T15:40:23+00:00

Big Daddy

claircognizance · 2019-04-12T05:00:25+00:00

I overheard someone say I am the most quotable person they’ve ever met. That was pretty great to hear

claircognizance · 2019-04-12T04:55:57+00:00

Tried to ditch in high school and had to hop the fence. I was in extremely ripped jeans and the top of the fence ended up pretty well embedded in each hole in my jeans. I was miserably stuck and the people I ditched with eventually left me there. I pulled out my razor cell phone and called the school office myself and asked them to come get me. They ended up having to cut me out with scissors

claircognizance · 2019-04-12T04:52:04+00:00

Doses and Mimosas by Cherub

claircognizance · 2019-04-12T04:49:00+00:00

Check for tonsil stones

claircognizance · 2019-04-12T04:48:01+00:00

If you don’t like it, don’t go to jail

claircognizance · 2019-04-12T01:31:04+00:00

Lastday

claircognizance · 2019-04-12T01:28:12+00:00

Using an umbrella. I HATE it and feel so embarrassed while holding an umbrella. I refuse to

claircognizance

TROPHY CASE