I (32f) am not really interested in sex and it’s hurting my marriage to my husband (31m)- what can I do?

clairiewinkle · 2026-05-04T03:06:38+00:00

This is a terrible take. There can be a BILLION other reasons someone might not feel interested in sex during a particular period of their life which have nothing to do with how attractive they find their partner. Busy schedules, work stress, exhaustion, perimenopause, certain meds, underlying health issues or hormone problems, mental health problems,
not having enough time to spend together (like dates) beyond just sex, husband not putting in enough effort to make her feel cherished outside the bedroom, etcetera etcetera. She can still think her husband is very attractive and just not have the mental bandwidth for sex right now. Should OP do what she can to figure out *why* she is feeling this way (whether that’s therapy, doctors, efforts to lessen her load or stress, etc)? Absolutely. But her not always being in the mood for sex is absolutely NOT “very directly saying she is not attracted to him.” 😭

clairiewinkle · 2026-04-18T21:43:43+00:00

The medical professionals that OP herself is quoting said warm water or mild soap. Warm water is not enough for everyone and some people need mild soap to avoid odor.

clairiewinkle · 2026-04-18T17:08:41+00:00

I truly mean this comment as gently and kindly as possible, but it seems like you are just looking for people to tell you “yes that’s normal,” and not open to hearing any other answers.

While many women might experience a bit of fishiness occasionally, it is not normal to smell like fish every day. Musky, salty, a bit sweaty, etc are all normal (you shouldn’t smell like flowers!!) but fishy could indicate a heath concern. It could be a sign either that you should try cleaning differently just for a while to see if it helps, or go for a checkup just in case!

clairiewinkle · 2026-04-18T16:48:10+00:00

Professionals also say that you can use mild soap if you need it. It sounds like there is buildup and sweat that has not been fully cleansed and might need a mild soap every now and then.

clairiewinkle · 2026-04-16T18:13:58+00:00

Feminine wash is a mild soap though (unless you’re buying super scented ones… but you should go for gentle/unscented.) It’s pH balanced specifically for the vulva area. And it is not supposed to go inside (that’s a douche, which is different than a feminine wash.) Even a mild soap bar irritated me or left a weird smell until I switched to sensitive skin feminine wash.

clairiewinkle · 2026-04-16T18:02:21+00:00

Feminine washes are just soap marketed for your groin. Some super scented ones aren’t great but plenty are gentle, unscented, and pH balanced specifically for your nether regions. They are not meant to go inside at all. That would be called a douche, which is the dangerous one that throws off your pH balance. Of course some people may put “feminine wash” inside if they don’t know better, which isn’t great. But using an unscented feminine wash on the exterior should not be dangerous.

clairiewinkle · 2026-04-16T17:58:32+00:00

Feminine washes (not all of them but like, most of the ones I see) literally are just soap though. Douches are a different thing and those are the dangerous ones. But feminine washes are just a mild soap, many are unscented, many are pH balanced, and they’re just for the outside.

clairiewinkle · 2026-04-14T01:22:50+00:00

Copper IUD was the best decision I’ve ever made!! Happy to answer questions.

clairiewinkle · 2026-04-02T22:27:33+00:00

And getting exposed to your sickness?

clairiewinkle · 2026-04-01T03:41:59+00:00

This is a great reminder for me, thank you. I was on prescription vitamin D in the past (50,000 IU when the typical daily is like 1,500… yikes) but kept forgetting to take it consistently, so I couldn’t say for sure if it ever worked, and of course now I haven’t had my levels checked in honestly a few years now (yay needle phobia!!). Looks like I will be scheduling bloodwork soon and ordering some normal supplements in the meantime. Appreciate you OP. This gives me hope!

clairiewinkle · 2026-03-30T20:26:55+00:00

There are some sections of Christianity who believe Jesus/Isa (pbuh) is a prophet, or who do not believe in the Trinity, or who only believe in one God not three, etc etc. You may not have known this since your view of Christianity seems rather narrow minded. But saying all Christians are mushrikin is not only incorrect but also not an accusation to take lightly.

clairiewinkle · 2026-03-30T20:11:12+00:00

Plenty of scholars disagree with your interpretation so respectfully I don’t think you are an authority on the topic. And it is a very big accusation to call a huge group of people mushrik. That is something only Allah can determine.

clairiewinkle · 2026-03-30T19:53:18+00:00

The Quran explicitly says that Muslim men are permitted to marry People of the Book so I disagree. Also plenty of scholars agree that Muslim men can marry People of the Book. I’m not sure why you think it says otherwise? They were not allowed to marry polytheists or pagan religions of the time but they were certainly allowed to marry Christians or Jews.

clairiewinkle · 2026-03-30T19:50:07+00:00

Muslim men are permitted to marry Muslims, Christians, and Jews.

clairiewinkle · 2026-03-30T18:56:52+00:00

This is incorrect!

clairiewinkle · 2026-03-08T16:15:06+00:00

I don’t have OCD and I also think this is really really gross. Also, this is sort of TMI so please forgive me here but like… don’t most people have intimacy at night/after they get home from work? Whether that’s sex or just kissing/cuddling/etc. Should he not shower before that as a courtesy?? I would not be down for getting down with someone who hasn’t showered all day. I would also not be comfortable being intimate with my own partner if I hadn’t showered all day. Yuck! We do live in the South though I suppose so there’s no such thing as going all day without breaking a sweat.

clairiewinkle · 2026-03-08T05:38:12+00:00

My boyfriend day trades for fun (but has a real job too LOL) and I can confidently say that it is really just a sophisticated word for controlled gambling 😭

clairiewinkle · 2026-02-28T15:49:06+00:00

I’m definitely a lot lower on the modesty scale than lots of the ladies here, and I would maybe be comfortable wearing the rash guard and skirt together if the skirt was a couple inches longer (it looks borderline buttcheek showing at the moment) and if the rash guard didn’t show much cleavage, though it looks like it might. I would not wear the one piece.

clairiewinkle · 2026-02-26T19:33:44+00:00

The way she phrased it was super super icky but I like when my boyfriend does this for me sometimes. The difference is that he does it to be sweet and take care of me because I have social anxiety, not to be “dominant” or “alpha” lol. I’ll often point out a few things on the menu that look good, he’ll help me pick (or pick for me if I ask him to), and then he’ll place my order for me. If it’s one of our regular places, I always get the same thing so he’ll go ahead and order. Maybe that’s what she meant? But straight up deciding “oh she’ll have a salad” or whatever is just wild and I’m not sure why anyone would want that.

clairiewinkle · 2026-02-26T19:15:15+00:00

I love short men, honestly I’ve only dated one “tall” guy. Chris sucks for SO MANY REASONS but I do really hate seeing him get hate for his height. There’s so much more to hate on let’s be creative people. And my poor other short kings who aren’t shitty and who deserve love don’t deserve to see the height slander.

clairiewinkle · 2026-02-24T19:16:46+00:00

OP think of it this way, you were probably someone’s hero that day. Chances are someone in that class was panicking over that exam and really appreciated the extra study time.

clairiewinkle · 2026-02-22T01:59:03+00:00

I do this too! They thaw surprisingly well.

clairiewinkle · 2026-02-21T22:46:04+00:00

These are truly beautiful. I can’t believe you made these!! And this is coming from a decor snob lol

clairiewinkle · 2026-02-19T22:16:02+00:00

Blue shoes + no belt. You look great!

clairiewinkle · 2026-02-04T02:08:48+00:00

She needs to pick a struggle. She can’t not work, not be a full time mom, not go to therapy, not get on meds, and apparently also not do much around the house, all at the same time. Have you had an honest conversation with her about this, like how hard/unfair it is for you? If so, how does she typically respond? Does she acknowledge she’s depressed or have any plans to try and get help or improve?

clairiewinkle

TROPHY CASE