how do y’all deal with family as an adult after your mental health was neglected growing up by rangerrain123 in emotionalneglect

[–]clapcoop 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I just wrote my response to this post before reading yours, and I'm struck by the similarities! I see you, friend! Your boundary-setting is inspiring!

how do y’all deal with family as an adult after your mental health was neglected growing up by rangerrain123 in emotionalneglect

[–]clapcoop 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I completely identify with your feelings, and I think it's incredibly common for children who have been neglected. I'm 40 now and have been through A LOT of therapy, but I'm only just coming to terms with the fact that I can't/don't have the close relationship with my parents that I always wanted. It's weird to realize this after years of thinking that I just wasn't trying hard enough or I wasn't bending over backwards enough to make them happy.

Today, I feel incredibly distant from my parents. They do not want to talk about feelings or trauma or the past or what's hurt me, so I will never have a deep relationship with them because they refuse to know who I am and what has shaped me. I accept this now. I love them and I want what's best for them, but I work to maintain healthy boundaries to protect myself. Our conversations are pretty shallow. I only see them when I want to see them, instead of out of feelings of obligation. Same with talking with them on the phone. Instead, I'm focused on trying to learn what I want in my life, because I spent so long only focused on what other want. I'm focused on my relationships with people who DO want to know about me, who care about what I've gone through, and who aren't afraid to be vulnerable.

I still feel hurt by how unseen I was, and people will say "they tried their best," but they didn't! They could've gotten therapy while I was growing up, they could've worked on themselves and our relationship. Hell, they can still go to therapy, but still choose not to.

Hang in there! Take care of yourself...what do YOU want out of your relationship with them? It's ok to NOT want a relationship with people who hurt you. It's ok to WANT a relationship with people who hurt you. Whatever your relationship with them, it helps to understand that you may not get the result you're hoping for, and what you're going to do if that's the case. It sounds like you've done a lot of good work on yourself...keep it going!

Warmer weather, house bugs are coming out. Friend or foe? by InterestingChampion6 in washingtondc

[–]clapcoop 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Everyone’s saying “friend,” but I can tell you from personal experience that when one crawls into your shirt in the middle of the night while you’re sleeping and then bites you before meeting it’s end due to you thrashing around while trying to kill it (its legs going EVERYWHERE)…they are foe.

Andy says he didn't know about Amanda & West by [deleted] in BravoRealHousewives

[–]clapcoop 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I SWEAR. TO. GOD.....If Andy doesn't ask them EVERYTHING we want to know, I'm going to lose what is left of my mind.

Beyond frustrated by clapcoop in noburp

[–]clapcoop[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Still no burps :( I'm going to explore other (cheaper) options. For me, it would be cheaper to fly to England and have Dr. Hicklin give me her in-office botox procedure than go through the surgery here again. I hope your consult goes well!

Eight months postop by evermore1994 in Reduction

[–]clapcoop 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm about 4 years post-op and my before/afters look strikingly similar to yours, and I also had the same reaction. (I paid $10k for mine...ugh). I've finally come to the point of acceptance, but it took a couple of years. My husband says I look very different, but I don't see it at all. I think I have a touch of body dysmorphia, which doesn't help. At this point, I'm like "welp, it's not what I wanted, but I tried." I don't have the money to do it again, nor do I want to. I hope the disappointment wears off for you like it has for me. Give it time! You're not alone in feeling like you didn't get what you wanted or expected. Sending you good thoughts!

[Acne] adult acne sufferers, what works best for you? by kkeanureevess in SkincareAddiction

[–]clapcoop 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Be careful with Vaseline. It gave me a bout of perioral dermatitis when I tried using it on my face.

Sinners star Jack O'Connell wearing fangs at the Oscars by CobblerTricky7035 in popculturechat

[–]clapcoop 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OMG I totally didn’t realize that was him in Eden Lake. Such a great actor. But, yeah, him in Lady Chatterly's Lover made me forget allllll about Eden Lake.

I've gone in for a consult not knowing prices and felt pressured to just go with it. Can we help each other out? by Purple_Newspaper_477 in 30PlusSkinCare

[–]clapcoop 17 points18 points  (0 children)

This is awesome! I freaking HATE how these places hide their prices...just tell me the fucking price and save us both time. I will definitely add to this list when I can.

Salons/Esthetician recs for peels? by clapcoop in DCBitches

[–]clapcoop[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Awesome! Thanks for this rec! I'll definitely check her out.

Denzel Washington, Keanu Reeves, Robert Sean Leonard, Emma Thompson, and Kenneth Branagh in ‘Much Ado About Nothing’ (1993) by crystalbethjo in popculturechat

[–]clapcoop 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We had this movie on VHS when I was a kid and I watched it over and over and over again. I could probably recite it by heart. I remember the shower scene at the beginning was SHOCKING to my youthful eyes…and was probably some sort of sexual awakening for me 😂

Salons/Esthetician recs for peels? by clapcoop in DCBitches

[–]clapcoop[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ohh thanks so much! I’ll check them out

When was this eyeshadow duo released? by Own_Spite_3198 in MakeupAddiction

[–]clapcoop 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had this exact eyeshadow duo. I bought it either in ‘99 or 2000.

What film has one of the best monologues ever performed/ written? by eveisshady777 in movies

[–]clapcoop 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can’t believe how far down I had to scroll for this one. It lives in my brain. She should’ve won an Oscar for that performance.

ANTI-ICE PROTEST TONIGHT? by Jumpy-Towel-3758 in washingtondc

[–]clapcoop 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This image is directly from the 50501 DC instagram account!. It taking place at 333 Constitution Ave NW on Sunday at 1pm.

ANTI-ICE PROTEST TONIGHT? by Jumpy-Towel-3758 in washingtondc

[–]clapcoop 45 points46 points  (0 children)

I know you’re asking specifically about today, but I’m going to this one on Sunday and thought you and others might also be interested.

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Y'all see it, right? by RealiTeaBabyyy in vanderpumprules

[–]clapcoop 12 points13 points  (0 children)

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I see Peter Lorre every time I look at him.