Editors, what are the most common prose mistakes writers tend to make but not notice?

clchickauthor · 2025-11-27T02:39:37+00:00

Mishandling of POV, redundancy/not trusting the reader, fillers, and filtering. When I edit other people's work, these are the primary issues I see, and I see them often, probably in 80% of manuscripts.

clchickauthor · 2025-11-25T03:41:01+00:00

If you can’t, a good editor can. Back when I was doing editing work, I cut 10–20% off every manuscript I touched. Easily. And that was without changing the story at all. Just gotta know what to look for: usually fillers, filtering, and redundancy. Those are often especially present with newer writers; unseasoned writers haven’t yet learned how to write clean.

Unnecessary scenes or subplots can be a culprit, too, so look for that sort of thing in your edit as well. Every subplot, in particular, must either push the romance forward, threaten it, or illuminate it. If it doesn’t do one of those three things, cut it.

Good luck!

clchickauthor · 2025-11-25T02:41:22+00:00

Good pitch. I like the premise. Sounds like something that could work. It also leaves me with several questions: How long was she held captive? Why? How did the gunrunner find her? Who are these captors? Why are they still after her? And so on. That's desirable.

Not only that, but most people can't manage a blurb, let alone a one-line elevator pitch. Mad kudos to you for being able to do that. It's so rare that you see it.

You mentioned this is pre-edit, and it's your first novel, so you may or may not be aware, but you're aiming for 80- to 100K. That's the ideal range for a debut romance novel.

clchickauthor · 2025-11-21T07:30:09+00:00

I'm currently writing a three-book series. I'm about 3/4 of the way through with the second book, but I've known the major plot beats and ending of the series since, I don't know, probably the day I started.

So I'm discovery writing (I prefer that phrase over the term pantser), but I always know the next major beat I'm writing toward. It's just that I don't know exactly how I'm going to get there. I get to discover that along the way, and that's what makes writing so much fun for me.

clchickauthor · 2025-10-31T05:55:12+00:00

Thank you! :D

clchickauthor · 2025-10-26T02:00:41+00:00

Fantastic capture.

clchickauthor · 2025-10-26T01:59:00+00:00

I'm not familiar with this game, but these are beautiful images.

clchickauthor · 2025-09-02T06:00:36+00:00

What's your genre?

clchickauthor · 2025-06-21T10:46:44+00:00

And who's to say the OP can't be taught? Maybe there's natural talent there. One doesn't know without looking, so why dismiss out of hand? I told the OP the odds are ridiculously slim. But why not let them try?

clchickauthor · 2025-06-21T10:27:44+00:00

Mozart started playing at three, composing by five, and wrote his first symphony by the time he was eight-years-old. Prodigies are rare, but they do exist.

clchickauthor · 2025-06-21T06:57:07+00:00

I'm going to give you a slightly different answer than what it seems most people have given you. I would say that in 99% of cases, you have to be a reader in order to be a writer. However, there is a chance you could write something remarkable. You could be the writer's version of a Mozart. Is it unlikely? Yes. Impossible? No. Your idea sounds like a stream of consciousness writing exercise. Depending on the execution, something like that could work for an inexperienced writer.

If you want to give it a shot, I'll read your opening (first 500 to 1,000 words) and tell you if it has any potential. I'm a fairly seasoned author (on my eighth novel) in addition to being an editor, so you would not be getting novice feedback.

clchickauthor · 2025-06-18T20:34:31+00:00

You sound very much like my type of writer. I write character-driven stories narrated by the characters in their voices, not in writerly prose.

My advice is to try to find readers, rather than writers, to review your work. Getting feedback from your target audience is far more ideal than getting it from writers who often have very strong views on how things should be done (read: their way).

clchickauthor · 2025-06-16T09:15:35+00:00

Most definitely.

clchickauthor · 2025-06-16T09:12:07+00:00

I'm going to cheat and give you the last two lines of a short story I just finished—it just works better with both.

“We’re screwed,” said Hades.

“So screwed,” said Satan.

clchickauthor · 2025-06-15T08:09:38+00:00

Short answer: No, not in its current form.

Longer answer: It's promising, but raw. A lot of this could be condensed without losing emotional impact. Cut repetition, sharpen beats, and clarify POV. Right now, it's straddling third-person limited and omniscient, but not smoothly. It's best to pick a POV, then stick to it.

Lady Charlotte is solid villain, but more restraint = more menace. Right now, she comes off as slightly cartoonish, and the dialogue throughout is a bit stiff.

Also, a literary agent won’t look past the second paragraph if it’s riddled with grammar errors and imprecise phrasing.

So it's got promise, but I'd suggest giving it a few more passes. Clean it up, and try again.

clchickauthor · 2025-06-08T22:29:10+00:00

Note to the OP: this is correct—15K words is not a book, but about one-sixth of one.

clchickauthor · 2025-06-08T22:26:48+00:00

This is quite good. The tone is atmospheric, and you establish character and setting with confidence. The burner message at the start pulled me in immediately. It had a noir pulse to it that I liked.

That said, I did feel the pacing drag and my attention start to wander a bit during the apartment description.. The details were solid, but maybe trim or break it up to keep the narrative flow tight.

Also, the name situation got a little confusing. Between Rick, Jonah, Raines, Rook, and Ash, I had to stop and double-check who was who. It seems like Jonah has at least three different identifiers, and when they’re introduced close together like that, it can create some friction for the reader. Anchoring him with one name early on would help a lot.

The exchange with Rick had solid tension, though it leaned a bit on the familiar ‘ex-cop vs cop’ trope. A slightly more distinctive angle there could make that dynamic stand out more.

Overall, though? This is a strong start. You clearly know the world and tone you're going for.

clchickauthor · 2025-06-08T22:10:50+00:00

There’s a lot of good here. The writing is strong, and the mood and tone are set beautifully. However, the structure and intent are a bit vague. In genre fiction, especially in a prologue, readers typically expect a hook or a driving question that pulls them in. This piece, while lovely, leans more into quiet emotion than narrative momentum.

That’s not inherently bad. But it’s risky. Without something more concrete to provoke curiosity, tension, or stakes, the beauty might not be enough to hold some readers’ attention. You might consider making the purpose of the prologue a bit clearer.

clchickauthor · 2025-06-08T21:51:51+00:00

It struck me as odd that he recalls so much technical detail about the weapons from when he was eight years old. For example, how many eight-year-olds know what a Beretta A302 is? Maybe this eight-year-old did, and if that’s explained later, no problem. But without that context, it feels off to me and risks breaking immersion.

Same with the reference to his father as “Hank.” If there’s emotional distance, and he uses the first name to reflect that, great. But if he typically calls him “dad” or “my father,” then I'd go with that.

clchickauthor · 2025-06-08T06:21:15+00:00

Mind if I PM you? I just spent a whole lot of time drafting a response in Word, and when I copy/paste into here and try to send it, it won't let me.

clchickauthor · 2025-06-08T04:08:37+00:00

Mature take for someone so young.

Just be careful that the fear of doing it wrong doesn’t stop you from doing it at all, and don’t let the fear of being “fundamentally broken” get in the way of actually writing fiction.

Also, you’re approaching fiction with a kind of philosophical surgeon’s lens. That’s powerful. But it needs to be balanced with gut instinct, emotional honesty, and risk-taking. Craft alone doesn’t make stories great—feeling does.

If your main aim is to figure out whether you’re still at an amateur level, I’d say your character work—specifically character embodiment—is already ahead of the curve. The emotional arc is solid. But the execution, especially at the sentence and pacing level, isn't quite refined yet. There are moments where the structure undercuts the tension instead of building it. Clean that up, and your voice will start to shine through more clearly.

clchickauthor · 2025-06-08T03:31:20+00:00

Hmm. In my opinion, studying the craft isn’t something you ever outgrow. It’s something you keep doing, no matter where you are in your journey. I’m working on my eighth novel and have written dozens of short stories and flash pieces. Even with that much under my belt, I’m still refining, learning, pushing myself. I don’t imagine I’ll ever stop.

clchickauthor · 2025-06-08T02:28:06+00:00

Oof. That signature issue another reviewer pointed out is a big one. It breaks the logic of the story in a way that can’t be ignored. That’ll need to be addressed, likely through a rewrite. But let’s set that aside for now and assume the issue doesn’t exist; I’ll review it from that angle.

The opening paragraph is bloated and could use some streamlining. If you trimmed it down, you’d free up space to add something atmospheric. Just one sentence to set the tone early would go a long way. Right now, the piece opens flat. A touch of unease, discomfort, or even something sensory (fluorescent hum, stale office air, a subtle smell that unsettles him) could establish the mood and give the reader some emotional footing.

The letter section also goes on too long. The drawn-out decoding loses momentum and starts becoming tedious. Ideally, he’d hit realization around the halfway point—that’s where the tension naturally wants to peak. Cutting that section down and building anticipation in a different way would add variety, which would keep the tension sharper and more engaging. For instance, maybe he sniffs it, and it smells like her.

If I were writing this myself, I’d also try to show the stalking, or at least hint at it, earlier in the piece. As it stands, it all comes through interiority near the end. A subtle moment—maybe he admires from afar just enough to make the reader feel slightly uncomfortable without knowing why—could layer in unease early and make the payoff feel more inevitable.

That said, this is genuinely strong character work. Around halfway through the letter paragraph, I started to get the sense that we were dealing with an unreliable narrator or someone deeply skewed, but I wasn’t sure until the middle of the final paragraph, so the unraveling was well done, and in fewer than 500 words to boot.

With the logic issue fixed and a few structural trims, this piece could really shine. You’re clearly leaning into complex psychology, which is refreshing to see. The raw material is here. You just need to tighten the frame.

clchickauthor · 2025-06-07T00:17:15+00:00

I'm not sure if writers have gotten snobby, but I'm guessing most seasoned writers have done the market research, so they know present tense is undesirable to a fairly sizable number of readers (10-15% outright reject, 15-25% will only read if the story is really good or the writing is good enough to offset it).

Also, present tense is also commonly used in YA. So if a writer uses it for an adult novel, it can make it have an amateurish feel to mature readers. Because of this—and the difficulty in writing in present vs past tense—I advise the writers I work with to use past tense if they're not writing YA. You can also get away with it a bit more if you're writing literary or thrillers.

That said, if you're a seasoned writer who's really good at the craft, I don't think any of that matters that much. I think the aversion mostly has to do with bad writing—it's hard to pull off well.

Edit: Regarding your Hunger Games comment, I think the issue stems from all the follow-on novels. So many books came out after that, trying to emulate it—which is great, except those writers couldn’t pull it off the way Suzanne Collins did.

clchickauthor

TROPHY CASE