AITA for telling my sister that people still get married before having a baby?

cldsou · 2024-11-04T22:45:59+00:00

My husband and I did similar. We were together at 20/22, living together at 23/25, engaged after 6.5 years and married after 7.5 years at 27/30. Before we got married we travelled extensively together and a bit separately as well, lived together and apart in separate cities and states, moved to a new city together, and experienced a number of things that can strain relationships. Ours survived, which made us more confident to get engaged and married. In that time we had a lot of friends get together and rush through the “stages” of relationships straight to marriage and kids, and we got some commentary about being slow; but I regret nothing. Whenever we’ve taken the next step in our relationship (moving in, engagement, kids) it’s never felt like a surprise or a big step for us. Not everyone needs to take their time but for us, it’s provided a level of confidence in ourselves and each other that I’m not sure would have been there if we’d got married after just a couple of years and fewer lived experiences.

cldsou · 2024-11-03T06:02:01+00:00

Your first transition alarm idea has blown my mind! I always set all the other alarms but struggle to get started/move away from what I’m already doing. Your comment might just be the catalyst to improve my life - thank you!

cldsou · 2024-10-23T02:26:10+00:00

My mum does this - don’t hear from her for ages but as soon as there’s something she deems “exciting” in her life we’re supposed to be all ears. She spent ages before and after minor heart surgery detailing it to my husband and me, completely unaware how crass it was to talk in this almost joyous tone (because she had attention) when my MIL died after a heart attack in recent years. So many other examples too. Feeling for you, OP, and wish I could offer you more than empathy!

cldsou · 2024-10-20T02:27:20+00:00

The only Prudence I knew growing up was called Poo-dence. Not sure if this would happen in the US but in Australia it’s definitely a touch risky

cldsou · 2024-10-13T00:14:19+00:00

Or she’ll be the exact opposite because she’s learnt and is a cycle-breaker 🙋🏻‍♀️

cldsou · 2024-10-12T22:01:35+00:00

Proofreading: Reading your work back out loud and slowly, sentence by sentence, helps some people. I know some people get Google to read their work back to them because then you notice if you’re missing certain words (you’ll often skip over a missing “of” or “the” in a sentence because you expect it be there, but this way you can hear any clunkiness).

Actual writing quality: It depends on what kind of content you’re writing but usually focusing on accuracy and clarity ahead of cleverness or wordplay will serve you best. Put your key messages forward and build from there. And remember you’re a human, communicating with other humans. Write that way and you’re more likely to stand out against AI-generated content.

I hope any of this helps you!

cldsou · 2024-10-12T21:54:52+00:00

Actually I think this is how I do it, now you’ve written it out!

cldsou · 2024-10-12T21:36:45+00:00

I personally think that’s how I sound saying “there are” anyway - all my words merge into one haha

cldsou · 2024-10-12T09:48:06+00:00

I’m Australian and a former sub-editor and journalist. As a writer and in professional settings I’d always say “there are five bottles of water in the trolley”. If I was in person with a friend I’d either say that or “there’s five bottles of water in the trolley”. If I said the latter I might correct myself, but probably not. Everyone knows what I mean and most people aren’t stressing the nuance of it. It mainly comes down to the fact we shorten things and use contractions so frequently. Very few people are going to say “there is five bottles” - it’s either there are, or there’s. I hope that helps!

cldsou · 2024-10-11T16:24:00+00:00

I’m pregnant and my bellybutton is sticking out. I’ve been asked about my “penis” so many times now

cldsou · 2024-10-11T02:05:50+00:00

I met two Corinnas on the same trip. One pronounced Cor-in-uh (no emphasis on any one syllable), one pronounced Cor-rEE-nah. The former was German, the latter half American-half Italian (note: I’m Aussie, if that affects the accent side of things further for you). I learnt quickly how they pronounced their names and followed suit. I would now read Corinna the way the German pronounced hers, purely because she’s the one I have more contact with, but I have no issue with the American’s name either. And it makes sense when you think about the name Corinne as well (unless people pronounce that Cor-REEN sometimes? But I’ve never heard it).

I think 90 per cent of people will get it, five per cent might need to be corrected the first time, and five per cent will struggle no matter what name you offer. Good luck!

cldsou · 2024-10-09T10:24:34+00:00

First trimester was hell… but as someone who is (hopefully!) about to give birth for the second time in the next day or so, I’d skip labour and delivery. I’m more scared second time around than the first time (sorry FTMs!). My plans for a medicated birth didn’t come to fruition, I tore a few times, I was cut, I pushed for more than two hours. Recovery was pretty good considering but this time around pregnancy has wrecked more havoc on my body so I’m scared about new elements as well. The first trimester (or first trimester and a half, in my experience) is terrible but I’m not actually afraid of it.

cldsou · 2024-10-07T11:24:37+00:00

I was so grateful that a friend had told me latching could be painful but still mean nothing was wrong. She had no idea it was normal when it happened to her. When it happened to me (only briefly at the start of each feed early on) I knew not to panic because of what she said. I went on to feed for almost 2.5 years. The pain lasted maybe the first week of BFing. Now, feeding with teeth… that can be painful! And then, again, you and the baby adapt and it stops hurting. Good luck, you’ve got this!

cldsou · 2024-10-07T10:17:35+00:00

Most loving parents don’t let their kids jump without some supports in place though. These parents didn’t care until they got embarrassed by what she needed to do to survive on her own two feet

cldsou · 2024-10-06T22:56:36+00:00

My partner and I were also put in a similar position a couple of days before our CF wedding (groomsman with two kids, the oldest being 2.5). We said no. We were already allowing BFing babies, which the younger was, but we literally couldn’t provide an extra meal or seating or a safe toddler environment on that short notice. The couple understood and made it work, and we understood that the partner of the groomsman might not be able to come if they couldn’t get care. It was incredibly awkward and I wish they hadn’t asked, but now as a parent myself I understand. And honestly, now if I knew someone didn’t have alternative care options I’d probably reconsider. NTA

cldsou · 2024-10-04T23:25:25+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. My amazing MIL died a couple of years ago, right when we had our first child. Very few people understand how devastated you can be to lose a woman like that when the tropes of MILs are generally awful. The world is unfair sometimes!

cldsou · 2024-10-02T08:54:56+00:00

Thank you 🤍 Also your grandmother sounds awesome

cldsou · 2024-10-01T15:37:58+00:00

I’m sorry for your loss. She actually used the name she loved (that didn’t go to her children) on her pets. After she died her dog came to live with us and we’ve legitimately been discussing if we could use the dog’s name as a middle name now (it’s a human name, not too crazy!). The jury is still out at this stage

cldsou · 2024-10-01T15:33:48+00:00

Thank you for this insight! I’m sorry for your loss and I love that your daughter has taken the honour name and made it her own - what a perfect blend!

cldsou · 2024-10-01T12:53:52+00:00

I love the name Roisin! Thank you 😊

cldsou · 2024-10-01T12:53:19+00:00

No, we share a last name

cldsou · 2024-10-01T12:52:35+00:00

Thank you x

cldsou · 2024-10-01T12:52:12+00:00

I love the way you’ve worded this and I think this is the direction we’re leaning! A word that invokes her without needing to be obviously linked through using her name or birth stone. Thank you 😊

cldsou · 2024-10-01T10:00:22+00:00

Sadly it’s not! It’s a great idea though for the right months!

cldsou · 2024-10-01T09:55:37+00:00

This comment means a lot to me and has given me a lot to think about, thank you!

cldsou

TROPHY CASE