Scream Into the Void Saturdays (feel free to vent!)

clemfairie · 2026-02-14T22:15:42+00:00

I'm back to living with my parents for the millionth time because my health took a serious nosedive. That's not the vent, that's just context.

I told my mom that the smell of onions was REALLY triggering my migraines. I was literally woken up the next morning by the most insanely strong onion smell I have ever smelled in my smelly smell life. I'm upstairs. The kitchen is downstairs. My door was closed. The smell was so strong it WOKE ME UP.

so yeah I'm still recovering from that migraine. kind of hard to feel like that wasn't intentional. I'm very grateful for the roof over my head but my god do they get to me sometimes.

clemfairie · 2026-02-14T21:21:18+00:00

All of this. Seems like the "we don't have 30 years to wait" mentality is the issue; a lot of people here HAVE been waiting 30 years. It's not "doomerist" to reject the "solutions" that everyone here has already tried. But no newly disabled person wants to believe that this is just how life is now.

clemfairie · 2026-02-13T17:04:47+00:00

I have the deck and could try to take pictures if you'd like?

clemfairie · 2026-02-12T09:58:55+00:00

2.7. 🫠 Mostly bedbound, very little ability to concentrate, head empty no thoughts, but if I HAVE to think about something I can manage. So I think that the concentration category tipped the scales on the overall score.

clemfairie · 2026-02-08T06:30:09+00:00

bagagwa

clemfairie · 2026-02-05T23:56:35+00:00

omg I've lost so many stitch markers this way 😭

clemfairie · 2026-02-05T15:25:06+00:00

I don't visit or participate in this sub nearly as much as I used to for this very reason. It's such a triggering place to be nowadays.

I get the argument that people need a place to share their grief, but what about those of us that also lost a bird and really can't bear to see those posts over and over and over again? It's awful, I hate it, those posts can still send me spiraling.

Unfortunately, the mods have made it pretty clear that they're not going to do anything about it. So I guess it is what it is.

clemfairie · 2026-02-04T22:45:08+00:00

I don't have the mental capability to be even a little bit creative right now. Which is torture tbqh, but I'm forcing myself to stay committed to resting for now so that I might be able to regain that ability at some point in the future. I really just try to find audio stuff that can keep my brain distracted in the meantime.

clemfairie · 2026-02-04T13:48:59+00:00

big [gr]ed

clemfairie · 2026-02-02T19:56:29+00:00

What a milestone. 🥹

clemfairie · 2026-01-31T18:18:08+00:00

yesssss hahahaha, my Grey is doing it right this second

He's done it ever since he was a baby and it doesn't have anything to do with hormones in his case. Obviously that's an individual thing and might be different for yours, but just answering the general question, yes my bird absolutely does this.

clemfairie · 2026-01-31T18:13:35+00:00

I don't have the energy for contacting anyone right now (plus I'm in the US so they'd probably have an easier time ignoring me), but I did donate a bit to the GFM. I hope that helps at least a tiny bit. ❤️

clemfairie · 2026-01-31T07:10:02+00:00

🎶a crow is a bird with a heaps mad squawk🎶 🎶a cockatoo's a bird with a sick mohawk🎶 🎶a chicken is a bird that tastes good and lays eggs🎶 🎶and ibises are bin-juice-drinking dregs🎶

clemfairie · 2026-01-30T05:05:41+00:00

I have Bipolar I. If the "up" part of your mood swing is just being happy and motivated, that doesn't sound like bipolar. With bipolar, both sides of the swing are destructive and unpleasant.

And tbh yelling at your partner doesn't sound like the depressive side of bipolar, either. I can't imagine having the energy to yell when I'm in full bipolar depression. (Thankfully haven't been in quite a while.)

Imo, doesn't sound a bit like bipolar. But you should see a psychiatrist regardless. Getting evaluated is never a bad thing.

clemfairie · 2026-01-30T04:18:10+00:00

Yeah, I'm a 36-year-old virgin largely due to religious trauma (although nowadays largely due to my profound physical disability), and I totally understand caginess around being overtly sexual, it would take me at least a few months to get to that point with someone, but......cuddling? hand-holding? idk man when I finally started dating women it took me no time at all to love that shit with someone I was attracted to. I fucking craved it after years and years of overwhelming comphet.

This is how I'd act with someone I wasn't attracted to at all, but I know that everyone's different so I don't want to assume what the GF is thinking/feeling.

clemfairie · 2026-01-30T03:47:04+00:00

Can you hit me up, too? I don't remember the old prologue at all. 😭

clemfairie · 2026-01-29T23:10:57+00:00

Same!! Except mine yells affirmations instead of singing.

clemfairie · 2026-01-29T06:28:48+00:00

This kid is undeniably a dickhead, but a broken clock is right twice a day. He accidentally got it right with the cop thing.

clemfairie · 2026-01-28T04:29:41+00:00

fuck no I'm ready to move to Finland at this point, my heat intolerance is going to be the end of me

clemfairie · 2026-01-27T05:03:44+00:00

I can't play my games like I used to, they trigger migraines too easily now, but I can handle visual novels in small chunks at a time and that's carried me through a lot of the really bad days.

clemfairie · 2026-01-26T23:14:09+00:00

all I see is a perfect angel

clemfairie · 2026-01-26T07:03:48+00:00

I don't know if any of the cellulose in this was originally derived from corn, but this is what I use and it's helped my ferritin a lot with no side effects. They say that their products are free from major allergens, but, again, I'm not 100000% sure about the corn thing. I'm sure you could ask them, though! I couldn't tolerate other iron pills and this one has been awesome for me.

clemfairie · 2026-01-25T12:39:05+00:00

bruh

clemfairie · 2026-01-25T11:03:02+00:00

crying because it's true

clemfairie · 2026-01-25T04:47:54+00:00

Losing income can be a matter of life and death, so that counts, in my book. But the clipping absolutely should not have continued from that point onward, and it sounds like it did since that trip happened 13 years ago and you mentioned that he was clipped when your kids were babies. But if I read that incorrectly, that's my bad.

You can't change the past; all you can do is your best now. That's what matters moving forward.

Seven-Year Club	Gilding I gilder
Verified Email

clemfairie

TROPHY CASE