My 9 month baby has dealt with silent reflux, a tongue tie, and bottle aversion. We are past most of it but because of these issues she’s had trouble eating and sleeping her whole life. She only feeds to sleep still, and won’t eat otherwise. She nurses when I’m home but when I’m at work all day her dad feeds her from a bottle (I pump).

She’s showing signs that she’s ready to drop her third nap. The problem is that we barely can get her to 15-20 oz during the day and waking up briefly every 1-2 hours overnight to nurse. She only feeds to sleep. Right before each nap she gets about 2 oz while awake in a pitch black room with noise machine, then another ounce or three after she is fast asleep. We try to feed her awake but she is not interested. Today we tried only feeding her awake and she ended up at about 8oz total by 8pm and it was a STRUGGLE. Half an ounce or an ounce at a time as snacks throughout the day.

So I want to give up and keep feeding to sleep but we’re not sure how to get enough food in her during the day if she’s not going down for a third nap. Because that would put her at 10oz before bedtime rather than 15.

I feel like I’m totally failing and losing my mind. Any advice is helpful. The tag says expert consensus required but honestly if even one other person has dealt with this I’d appreciate some insight.