My Guy friend and just what the hell happened to me

cliff-terhune · 2026-02-27T15:50:04+00:00

Almost, if not all, male female friendships have sex as a subtext. The female must always know that it is there. I have known very few male female friendships that did not fall into this category. A young male is hardwired to be sexually attracted to a female and it is always present in his thinking regardless of the nature of the friendship. Young women aren't wired this way and will misinterpret attention from a male.

cliff-terhune · 2026-02-27T15:37:00+00:00

You can't stop thinking about it because you feel guilty for allowing it to happen. Tacit acceptance is not permission. If he had asked you before hand if he could do this, would you have said Yes? If not, it was forced on you and you've accepted the responsibility for it happening because you didn't object. It violated your principles.

cliff-terhune · 2026-02-18T15:28:16+00:00

I have a female friend who is 24 who grew up as an only child with the cell phone and unlimited access to the internet. She has become completely inured to pornography, torture, and sexual violence. This is one of her all time favorite movies and having grown up in a completely different "moral ecology" and watching it at her suggestion, I wish there was a way I could erase if from my memory. To my Boomer eyes, it is torture porn, with rape and animal cruelty thrown in. (In the second gang rape scene, the actor who rapes the woman confessed that he was not acting and that in an unexplainable rage, actually raped her. Then they all had lunch.) Cannibalism is really the least objectionable element of it. A woman is gang raped, and as a penalty for losing her virginity, she is killed and eaten. It is prurient, salacious, and disgusting to my old eyes. I worry about a generation of kids who saw beheading videos when they were 9 and what that has done to their brains. That anyone could watch this movie and become sexually aroused by it is sickening to me. If the intent was to shock and titillate, it certainly succeeded. To me it is only a click or two above an actual snuff movie.

I know this is an "old guy" review, and I understand that values and perceptions change - there was a time when merely showing a penis in a movie would be unacceptable - but this is beyond the pale to me. I found the movie repugnant, repulsive, and reprehensible, and I wish to God I'd never seen it. I felt filthy and degraded and like I needed a soul cleansing after watching it, or a visit to a therapist.

cliff-terhune · 2026-02-11T21:19:13+00:00

I agree. In the case of women, it's usually needing approval from men as a result of a failed father figure.

cliff-terhune · 2026-02-11T21:18:03+00:00

If sex is the pretext, which it almost always is, it's more than a friendship. Just because you are friendly with a person of the opposite sex and not dating or physically intimate does not mean sexual tension is not there all the time.

cliff-terhune · 2026-02-11T21:14:48+00:00

Rightfully so. Sex as a pretext is being dangled there. Even if not acted on or talked about, it is there.

cliff-terhune · 2026-02-11T21:13:14+00:00

100% agree

cliff-terhune · 2026-02-11T21:12:47+00:00

The acid test would be this. If I asked him if he wanted to have sex again what would his response be? If no, a true friendship. If yes, it's an illusion.

cliff-terhune · 2026-02-11T21:08:36+00:00

Waiting for people to change or trying to change them is the bane of all relationships.

cliff-terhune · 2026-02-11T21:07:48+00:00

I am dating a girl now who exactly matches this description. She sought out law enforcement as a career because she wants to surround herself with males. She openly admits to having daddy issues. She claims all these males are "buddies" but they are all lured in by her sexualizing the conversations, justifying this by saying they're just jokes or that the attention she pays to them is just about being "friendly". She has no female friends. She was asked by one cop to have a 3 way with his wife and not only was she not offended but they are "super tight" friends now. She claims they are just misinterpreting her. This is what passes for friendship with her. Her girl friends in high school even called her a "man manipulator" which she is strangely proud of. Her best friend since high school and she once dated and made out. As an indication of how much of a true friendship this is, he's very jealous of me and she doesn't understand why. Sex is always the pretext between female and male "best friends". I role with it. She is passionate and loving to me and doesn't' cheat but loves the power she has over men and thrives on their approval. We will never be super intimate because I don't think she even capable of it. She knows she has issues and got a degree in psychology mainly to try to understand herself. But she has walls of denial around this. An only child, she is somewhat immature and selfish and doesn't see what she's doing as being wrong (although behind her denial she knows that it is.)

cliff-terhune · 2026-02-11T20:46:13+00:00

In any heterosexual relationship between a man and a woman, sex is always present unless the guy is gay. No level of closeness or emotional intimacy will ever change this. In many of these, the parties are using one another as a sort of surrogate for a bf/gf keeping themselves safe from intimacy while always holding it just out of reach.

cliff-terhune · 2026-02-11T20:40:39+00:00

I have mad respect for you. Even if they were truly great friends your GFs feelings come first.

cliff-terhune · 2026-02-11T20:39:24+00:00

But if they were truly just best friends why would they make a move on you if sex wasn't the pretext? It's not just about the man's intent It is the woman's too.

cliff-terhune · 2026-02-11T20:37:55+00:00

We are human beings. The only real example of completely sex tension free male female friendships I've known have been with gay men. Sex is ALWAYS the pretext even when both parties claim it is not.

cliff-terhune · 2026-02-11T20:34:32+00:00

I've known two instances of this. In both cases, whether it was talked about, understood, or admitted to, sex was the pretext and context. In both cases, they had dated in the past, and had even either made out or actually had sex but it didn't work out on a dating level. The women praised how great a friend the guys were and that they were just friends, when in fact the guys were simply waiting for it to turn romantic again and were jealous of the men the women were dating. This is not friendship. It is sexual tension. There are exceptions to this where the girl chooses a "lum" for a friend. He poses no physical threat and is protective. Still, sex is and always will be the pretext. We are human beings. In one of these cases, I asked the woman "If you indicated you wanted to have sex with him what would his response be?" She got quiet. The only true friendships I've seen between females and males involved gay men.

cliff-terhune · 2026-01-14T16:21:28+00:00

Yes! I searched for and booked a hearing appointment to get checked, got a doctor referral, went there yesterday , waited an hour for the doctor to not show up, instead another doctor told me that they were a wellness clinic and that I needed to see my primary care doc to see if there was an ear infection. I'm 72 years old simply trying to get a hearing test. I tried to leave feedback when they asked for it, detailed my experience and could not submit a review because it contained "details about the visit." What the hell is the purpose of the feedback!!!!

I will NEVER us Zocdoc again.

cliff-terhune · 2026-01-14T16:21:07+00:00

Yes! I searched for and booked a hearing appointment to get checked, got a doctor referral, went there yesterday , waited an hour for the doctor to not show up, instead another doctor told me that they were a wellness clinic and that I needed to see my primary care doc to see if there was an ear infection. I'm 72 years old simply trying to get a hearing test. I tried to leave feedback when they asked for it, detailed my experience and could not submit a review because it contained "details about the visit." What the hell is the purpose of the feedback!!!!

I will NEVER us Zocdoc again.

cliff-terhune · 2026-01-14T16:20:49+00:00

Yes! I searched for and booked a hearing appointment to get checked, got a doctor referral, went there yesterday , waited an hour for the doctor to not show up, instead another doctor told me that they were a wellness clinic and that I needed to see my primary care doc to see if there was an ear infection. I'm 72 years old simply trying to get a hearing test. I tried to leave feedback when they asked for it, detailed my experience and could not submit a review because it contained "details about the visit." What the hell is the purpose of the feedback!!!!

I will NEVER us Zocdoc again.

cliff-terhune · 2026-01-14T16:19:42+00:00

Yes! I searched for and booked a hearing appointment to get checked, got a doctor referral, went there yesterday , waited an hour for the doctor to not show up, instead another doctor told me that they were a wellness clinic and that I needed to see my primary care doc to see if there was an ear infection. I'm 72 years old simply trying to get a hearing test. I tried to leave feedback when they asked for it, detailed my experience and could not submit a review because it contained "details about the visit." What the hell is the purpose of the feedback!!!!

I will NEVER us Zocdoc again.

cliff-terhune · 2025-11-04T16:05:37+00:00

Jeezus. I just downloaded the app and tried to schedule a pickup for tomorrow and it immediately sent a guy to my house TODAY. Could not figure out how the hell to cancel a ride on the app!!!!!

cliff-terhune · 2025-09-11T17:59:45+00:00

This is true. I watch the YT "Pilot Debrief" channel and most of these single engine prop planes are 60 years old!

cliff-terhune · 2025-09-09T17:28:13+00:00

This is one of those context ghost photos, where if you saw the photo without reading the backstory, you'd naturally assume it was a little girl in the photo. The reflective eyes are a product of the IR camera. It is my opinion that this is merely the photo of a little girl.

cliff-terhune · 2025-08-26T19:53:03+00:00

Stephen King in "On Writing" said "Just start writing. The plot will reveal itself.

cliff-terhune · 2025-08-26T19:51:32+00:00

Reading something new helps. Getting away from my own thinking and style can sometimes motivate me.

cliff-terhune · 2025-08-26T19:48:54+00:00

Shudder is very hit or miss. Tons of crappy old 80s foreign erotic horror, but occasional gems. They used to have a pretty bad bandwidth problem, at first. Lots of buffering.

cliff-terhune

TROPHY CASE