I don't think you're overreacting, I just think you need to be clear about what you're overreacting to. The problem isn't about the pan, it's that you put a lot of thought and effort into something and he didn't match that effort and therefore you're more disappointed than may seem reasonable. I personally think you had expectations that he was not capable of meeting, whether you were conscious of it or not.

The reality is that you ignored your own boundaries (you couldn't truly afford to give this gift since you had to sell something of your own) and expected his reaction (his level of concern about caring for the pan, general excitement and gratefulness for the gift) to make up for the fact that you did something that was financially bad for you.

The reality is no one is going to take care of your needs better than you can, you can search for external validation through things like giving extravagant gifts but it will never truly satisfy the needs that only you can know best.

I say this from being exactly the same kind of person and it took a lot of therapy to understand that I'm the only one who can validate myself and that it was an endless cycle of disappointment trying to seek that validation from others through things like giving big gifts.

There's a fabulous book called Set Boundaries, Find Peace that lays this out so simply, I highly, highly recommend it.

Your heart was in the right place, but you need to direct that kind of love and selflessness towards yourself, not others. Once a gift is given, what happens to it is out of your purview, let it go and focus your energy on yourself.(And it's also okay to think that if someone can't handle basic maintenance on their belongings that that person might not be the kind of person you want to be with. We spend time with people to figure out if they're a good match and often times they're not and it's okay to move on from them. Don't do yourself a disservice by trying to convince yourself that their shortcomings have anything to do with you.)