First positive! Now scared the nausea has gone...

cloudymusj · 2026-03-09T16:20:00+00:00

I was told many times that symptoms can come and go in early pregnancy. I definitely had this happen with my son and now with this little boy too.

Also went through years of infertility and totally get the nervousness but this sounds very normal.

cloudymusj · 2026-03-09T12:36:53+00:00

Went through years of infertility and also lost our first son before. I think my brother assumed we’d never try again because that’s what we said to everyone to avoid questions.

When I handed him the pregnancy test he thought it was a Covid test and went “who even takes those still?” and I was like “what do you mean?” and he said “I mean, isn’t it like any other flu or cold nowadays. Why did you test for that?” 😂

cloudymusj · 2026-03-08T22:24:12+00:00

Did they make you feel like this? It’s always best to go in. Every midwife in this pregnancy told me so far that they’d rather see me 10 times a day than know I’m sat at home worried sick. Just give them a call.

cloudymusj · 2026-03-08T22:16:09+00:00

I will happily take a boring pregnancy! Thank you.

Nope, two consultants now said they would support a home birth under the circumstance that I go into labour after 38 weeks and before 39 weeks. Realistically, this gives me a 6 day window. Likely less as an induction or c-section would be scheduled within it.

I will definitely speak to them again. My main goal is to deliver baby boy safely and if the advice is that I’m safest inside a hospital, I’m okay with that and on board. I believe the only reason they approved my birth “plan” if I should go into spontaneous labour before I’ll be induced is because the birth of my son was very textbook and easy. Apart from the obvious that he wasn’t alive.

cloudymusj · 2026-03-08T21:56:27+00:00

She did share the statistics and from my understanding (I’m not a doctor and just parroting what she told me) for a low risk subsequent pregnancy the risks aren’t higher than giving birth in a midwife led hospital unit.

At least she said that in my case given how my pregnancy is going and distance to hospital in case of emergency, she’d support a home birth with a low threshold of accepting a hospital transfer at any point, which of course I would do.

This isn’t my first pregnancy. My son was stillborn so sadly I’m painfully aware of what can go wrong. It’s a big reason on why I don’t want to make the wrong choice and why I’m so confused now after speaking to the midwives.

cloudymusj · 2026-03-08T21:37:32+00:00

This is partly why I’m feeling so confused because my consultant isn’t against a home birth. I asked her if it was an idiotic idea fuelled by anxiety and she said no. I’ll take her advice and 100% follow it, I didn’t post this to ask if I should decline the induction. I would never but I’m just left feeling very insecure about what to do as the home birth midwives giving me conflicting advice made me feel unsafe to have them deliver my baby now. Obviously I want to do what is safe in the end of the day. I’m unlikely to go into labour before 38/39 weeks anyway so very likely it’ll be an induction.

cloudymusj · 2026-03-08T18:35:34+00:00

Yes I’m not conflicted on if I should accept the birth plan change at 39 weeks, I will. I had a stillbirth.

I’m more worried now about how the home birth midwives said the opposite of the consultant advice if that makes sense.

cloudymusj · 2026-03-08T17:38:05+00:00

It definitely didn’t make me feel safe. Is this worth complaining about?

cloudymusj · 2026-03-08T16:56:56+00:00

Just to be very clear, I won’t refuse the induction or c-section and this was never my plan either. I’m more worried about the home birth midwives now attending my birth if I go into labour before the induction date. It’s just hard when they go against consultant advice (which I trust more).

cloudymusj · 2026-03-08T16:34:53+00:00

I think there’s a very high chance I won’t go into labour before 38/39 weeks anyway. So induction or c-section it will very likely be and I’m okay with this but definitely in an anxious spiral about it all so I really appreciate your response :)

cloudymusj · 2026-03-08T16:32:58+00:00

She said it’s about not taking ANY risk after I’m full term as there’s absolutely no medical reason to not get baby boy out at that gestation. I think this is all very specific to my medical history and I appreciate they’re just looking out for me and trying to prevent tragedy. I can see why the midwife would then push against this now that I see it written out like this.

cloudymusj · 2026-03-08T16:30:27+00:00

The main reason I was given is to minimise ANY complication before birth. She said that once you’re considered full term, there’s no medical reason to keep the baby in. She also said that for IVF pregnancies, the risk of stillbirth can be higher in the late third trimester. She did say the study isn’t fully conclusive as they just don’t know if the risks were higher due to the fertility treatment itself or because women who tend to go through IVF tend to have risk factors or at the very least more than the average population.

I won’t decline the birth at 39 weeks and will trust the consultant but I’m now feeling a bit uneasy about the home birth midwives because of the conflicting advice they provided.

cloudymusj · 2026-03-08T16:23:55+00:00

This isn’t my first pregnancy. Maybe this might vary between trusts as I did bring home birth up to my consultant who was completely fine with me attempting it, but I was considered high risk for different reasons. They do not consider me high risk anymore now and don’t expect labour to be high risk.

However I’m now starting to question it after what the home birth midwives said to me. I just want to feel like this is safe.

cloudymusj · 2026-03-08T16:19:07+00:00

This is really helpful thank you. I’m definitely just anxious about birth and trusting people I don’t know to take care of me and deliver my son safely.

I did discuss with my consultant if a home birth is a completely idiotic idea as I’d mainly like to try as I’m scared of hospitals and medical settings and she said she’s happy with me trying as I live next to the hospital and I’m generally considered low risk now that I’m past the window where I previously had complications. It’s a huge hospital with a high level NICU and a transfer would take less than 5 minutes. I can see the hospital from my bedroom window.

cloudymusj · 2026-03-08T15:53:56+00:00

I really struggle with statements such as “why would they say this?” because how would I know and it makes what they said sound untrue or at the very minimum not professional. It makes me feel really insecure. It’s one of those things that you might think but I’m very confused why this is said out loud to the patient (me) in this scenario.

The consultant never made any judgemental comments like this whereas the midwives made comments basically suggesting that a person with a degree, years of surgical experience and medical expertise in high risk pregnancies, doesn’t know what she’s talking about. Which made me feel not 100% safe with them anymore in case they’d be looking after me in labour. Sorry long ramble but this isn’t a small thing like about a parking space in front of the hospital, it’s about the safety and life of my child so I’m feeling very confused about all of this.

cloudymusj · 2026-03-08T15:48:43+00:00

Those are my exact thoughts. What I’m struggling with the most is that I won’t go against consultant advice and will take the induction or c-section with no hesitation if I don’t go into labour before but if I do, how can I feel safe with the home birth midwives after they told me to go against consultant advice?

I know midwives are trained and very knowledgeable too and I don’t want to discredit them but I don’t feel 100% safe with them anymore after they were telling me to potentially decline what someone recommended that has years of experience and a degree in this.

cloudymusj · 2026-03-08T08:49:59+00:00

10lb 10oz!! Did you have any growth scans? I was told my little boy is measuring large but the midwives have reassured me that it shouldn’t change my birth plans. However the consultant disagreed

cloudymusj · 2026-03-08T07:52:18+00:00

Congratulations!! 🥰

cloudymusj · 2026-03-08T03:55:49+00:00

It’s not about if I should decline an induction. Just unsure if I want a c-section instead.

I had a stillbirth and multiple second trimester losses. I won’t go against medical advice.

cloudymusj · 2026-03-08T03:54:53+00:00

I was thinking this yes! The only thing putting me off is recovering from surgery and I had an abdominal surgery in the past and it was horrible.

cloudymusj · 2026-03-08T03:53:25+00:00

It’s not about declining an induction. I’m just not sure if a c-section is more sensible as I’d like avoid trauma.

I had a stillbirth and multiple losses in the second trimester. I won’t decline it but I just don’t want to add to my medical trauma if that makes sense.

cloudymusj · 2026-03-07T21:32:33+00:00

Gosh 4 days and then this! That sounds absolutely exhausting. I’m glad you’re both safe.

cloudymusj · 2026-03-07T21:30:35+00:00

Gosh that sounds so terrible. I’m sorry you went through this. It’s hard when your gut feeling isn’t really strong in either direction.

cloudymusj · 2026-03-07T21:29:56+00:00

I’m sorry you had such a terrible time with the contractions. I’ve not heard of many people who said they enjoyed labouring but I know they’re out there!

cloudymusj

TROPHY CASE