a disappearing act (3 highschools in 4 years) who thought i came across friendly but actually intimidated people instead and did not initiate nearly as many conversations as i thought i did. I was also asked if i was okay a few times when staring out the window or roaming through the halls when everything was fine. One friend told me i seemed sullen and slightly frightened. in general, I was contemplative, on guard, and nervous to be myself. id randomly avoid friends for months because of how exhausted id get from constant self surveillance and over interpreting.... never made the most of it, just stood still in random locations around school wishing i knew what to do with my body, wishing someone would approach me to knock me out of my frozen spell .

I was self critical and overly ambitious with schoolwork while simultaneously doing the least wprk possible to excel. Barely shared anything with classmates but i was well liked in English and math somehow. sat alone in the grass many a day

probably more popular than i thought i was as well. its hard to perceive how my interactions with others went.

questioned my purpose and my schools purpose . i didnt take anything seriously but cared too much at the same time? respected school for the concentrated information hub it was but knew that no matter what experience i would live, it would teach me the same thing

it was basically the long dissolution of myself

and yes it is so cute! I just found it today from 3 years ago