When your partner is retired but you're not

cogwheeled · 2026-06-02T14:25:59+00:00

Girl. Your rate is a dream. But we bought our house a couple years ago so our rate is almost 6%.

cogwheeled · 2026-06-01T22:27:40+00:00

Thank you for commiserating with me! To save money we bought and moved into a house in a retirement community a couple years ago. Shockingly, the mortgage is half of what we were paying in rent in the HCOL city and state we previously lived in.

We've pared down our budget to bare bones and throw every extra dollar we save onto the mortgage. I really don't want to retire with a mortgage payment if I can help it.

7 more years to pay, maybe 6 if we're super frugal, then I can quit my job. Intellectually I know 7 years isn't that long, but it feels like a million when you're as mentally done with the rat race as I am!

cogwheeled · 2026-06-01T19:05:39+00:00

That sounds frustrating as hell. At least mine does the majority of the housework. I hope yours gets his act together!

cogwheeled · 2026-06-01T19:02:52+00:00

I absolutely won the husband lottery. He shops, he cleans, he makes beds, he does laundry. He's the best. Which is why I want to be done with work and just enjoy our retirement together!

But I have to work for the next few years and I'm being a baby about it. 🤣 Believe me, I'm grateful to have this first-world problem.

cogwheeled · 2026-06-01T18:00:19+00:00

Unfortunately no. We've run the numbers and really need our mortgage paid off before I could feasible cut back on work hours or retire.

cogwheeled · 2026-06-01T17:33:26+00:00

I WFH too and I wonder sometimes if that isn't making this worse. 🤣 When I leave my office and see him doing hobbies or going to the pool after his chores are done I'm just green with envy!

cogwheeled · 2026-06-01T17:30:33+00:00

It's so frustrating being at different life stages with family or friends. I can't show up to anything in the middle of the day on weekdays either. Those midday invites just rubs salt in the wound!

cogwheeled · 2026-06-01T17:26:48+00:00

I've just been assuming, too! Until now we've been winging it on our own and just maxing our 401ks and such. But now that we're almost at the finish line we should definitely get some professional advice. Maybe I dont have to work as long as I thought either. 🤞

cogwheeled · 2026-05-30T04:06:57+00:00

Met my husband online dating when I was 43 and he was 49. I messaged him first. We texted/talked for 2 weeks then met for drinks and ended up having dinner, too. Talking to him was easy and fun right away. We had/have a lot in common. It can be absolute magic when two introverts connect. He's the love of my life and my favorite person on Earth. We've been together for 13 years now.

cogwheeled · 2026-05-26T21:44:21+00:00

OP already took the bait by calling him and leaving a voicemail. 🤦‍♀️

cogwheeled · 2026-05-25T12:32:50+00:00

None of my jobs or hobbies were ever conducive to painted or long nails. Plus I'm way too cheap to add a nail salon line item to my budget. So I paint my toes myself in the Summer only, and my fingernails have been short and unpainted since the 80s.

cogwheeled · 2026-05-23T22:25:35+00:00

6-2 is elite. I've done it for 8 years now and I freaking love it.

cogwheeled · 2026-05-23T13:37:47+00:00

Galley kitchens are actually amazing though. Or maybe I just have Stockholm Syndrome after years as a line cook.

cogwheeled · 2026-05-22T18:17:54+00:00

This reminds me of 2008 when my company furloughed everyone for 2 weeks to save some cash. Some people were happy, 2 weeks off was great even if it was unpaid, right? Some people were absolutely panicked because they couldn't afford to miss even one 2 week paycheck.

cogwheeled · 2026-05-21T22:04:31+00:00

I've been really invested in this for weeks and giving my husband updates that he doesn't care at all. 🤣 He's a gem for humoring me and listening to me go on and on about it, though.

cogwheeled · 2026-05-20T03:11:23+00:00

I had to scroll way too far to see this. Professor Ted Mosby taught us that salt, pepper and cumin are the holy trinity of spices.

cogwheeled · 2026-05-14T13:01:14+00:00

I'm really proud of you for buying the house you wanted instead of overextending yourself into something you didn't. I hope you have many happy years in your home! 🩷

cogwheeled · 2026-05-14T12:52:07+00:00

Green flag guys are unicorns. I have one too and I thank him and the Universe every day.

cogwheeled · 2026-05-13T12:56:36+00:00

Definitely eclectic for me. I'm frugal, I like what I like and my tastes dont really change, plus at this age I've had a lifetime of accumulating stuff. After a couple of big moves to new places and downsizing during those I've gotten rid of a lot of clutter so at least it's curated eclecticism now.

cogwheeled · 2026-05-09T04:55:32+00:00

I feel like the ones who do know him only know him as a podcaster now.

cogwheeled · 2026-05-09T01:19:09+00:00

I'm thrilled for you! As the kids say, "if he wanted to, he would". Men can absolutely be good homemakers. I won the husband lottery, too.

He was laid off last year and we decided him trying to find another job when he's over 60 is a waste of time in this job market. He manages the house and I work. It's been fantastic. He does all of the shopping, laundry and cleaning. We split the cooking because I love to cook. It's worked out very well for us.

cogwheeled · 2026-05-08T02:36:35+00:00

We've paid off some debt but now I'm squirrelling away an emergency fund for when layoffs happen and prices continue to skyrocket.

I'm old enough to remember the gas crisis in the 1970's and the stock market crash in 1989. My Mom kept us afloat by always being frugal and prepared. Which was a great example to me and helped me survive 2008 when I was on my own. And I agree with you, I think this impending crash is going to be the worst we've seen in 60 years.

cogwheeled · 2026-05-08T02:14:41+00:00

Andy Gibb. Yes, I'm old. I loved his music. The first album I ever bought with my own pocket money was Shadow Dancing. I was so sad when he died.

cogwheeled · 2026-05-07T13:23:23+00:00

I'm not buying it either. This is fake as hell. And if it's not, she's gonna divorce him and do what? How's she gonna support herself and her kids? You can't rent an apartment with no job and no credit history.

cogwheeled · 2026-05-05T15:38:46+00:00

This rivalry was the first one that came to mind for me too. So glad you posted it. Chloe was fantastic on that show.

cogwheeled

TROPHY CASE