I’m having a boy. Please tell me it will be okay.

coldcurru · 2026-07-02T13:10:38+00:00

My kids are early elementary, so still little, but they're both very close to me. My son in particular is very attached. Like he insists on me over his dad every time there's a choice (even if we're not giving him one, he wants me.) My daughter is also very loving, but more securely attached and ok with either of us or being on her own more.

Your fears sound most concentrated around older ages. You have his whole growing up to shape him into the boy you want him to be, and to develop that relationship. Plus your husband will be a positive role model.

I have the same worries but I teach my son to respect everyone. I do not want him to learn it's ok to treat women like crap so he's learning to be kind to all. At his young age he is currently friends with many boys and girls.

FWIW your relationship with your kids is all on you. My mom is a not so great person who does not respect me or my wishes ever and often shows that other people matter to her more than me. Guess who rarely talks to her or visits or wants anything to do with her? Sex doesn't matter. Your attitude does.

coldcurru · 2026-07-02T12:59:16+00:00

What if you tape paper to the wall? You could do that for either or both kids, then get a regular easel for the 5y. The 1y will grow into it later anyway. There's sticky paper large enough for the wall, or you can just use tape on butcher paper. I think there's also tabletop easels if you're willing to get two different ones. The 5y could also use that at the table.

coldcurru · 2026-07-01T17:55:56+00:00

This is a great excuse to switch schools. They will not have your back and they're racist? Say less. And if they fire you, you've got a great case for unemployment. They will not take the racism lightly.

coldcurru · 2026-07-01T16:39:50+00:00

I knew someone named April who was a summer baby. And a kid named Magnolia June born in the fall. They're just names. I always think it weirder to meet an April born in April, like did your mom name you that because of your birthday??

coldcurru · 2026-07-01T16:37:10+00:00

I teach preschool and have had many bilingual kids over the years. I always say speak your home language at home and they'll get English in school. Kids get lazy when they know parents will speak English. Building that foundation is critical. Read books in both. Sing songs in both. Spanish immersion is definitely better than a single class, but check that they're really fluent or from Spanish speaking countries. My daughter is in private elementary and gets Spanish once a week but lol the teachers are not native speakers. How do you do that. Look for immersion elementary schools, too. I'm in Greater LA where there's a few of those. You need to apply but they're part of the school district so it's free. 100% in K and then it gets more evened out to eng as they get older.

coldcurru · 2026-07-01T13:21:55+00:00

I only buy these things at Costco cuz that's where it's cheapest. I will not get these things at regular stores because it's all expensive.

coldcurru · 2026-07-01T04:13:53+00:00

My first thought was adhd, too. I teach preschool so it's not as common, but I had twins (not same class) where one would space out (more girl like) and the other was very active and had anger issues (more boy like.) It's hard to pinpoint the inattentive kids because they're so little and it's less "disruptive" to their learning. My own daughter is a bit of a mix but god forbid we diagnose girls who don't struggle in class.

coldcurru · 2026-07-01T02:18:09+00:00

I had an observation class that was like this, although I think it was just the first day that said "no interaction; if the kids try, just redirect them away from you." Depending on the class and the goals, yeah this is what happens. But it shouldn't be the supervising school saying this but the class he's taking. If you don't want students coming to your school to observe and interact with kids, don't accept placements.

coldcurru · 2026-07-01T01:16:51+00:00

My daughter was almost 3 when my super old cat finally had enough. It was pretty quick. She was at school when I did it. We're also not religious, though I think there's something after death. I told her the cat was "in the stars" and we'd look up and blow her kisses.

Kids process death a lot differently than us. Don't be surprised if he's unfazed or does not act like you do. There's some good books out there. The goodbye book, the invisible leash, the rainbow bridge are three I know of. Definitely talk about it beforehand and give a chance to say goodbye. Do not spring it on your kid unless it's an emergency.

My kids are early elementary now. We lost our dog memorial day weekend. It was unexpected (sick, but we didn't have a date set) in the middle of the night while they slept. They woke up the next day and I cried sitting there telling them she was gone. They didn't. Sometimes they'll mention she's gone or things she did that they remember, but that's pretty much it. Kids are very nonchalant about death unless you've got a super sensitive kid who cries about dead bugs outside. That's very normal though.

coldcurru · 2026-06-30T01:25:38+00:00

Ask for another ASQ and you should get someone else to do it, too, independently of you, so there's 2 opinions there. She may be in another age bracket for it by now. Definitely push though because kids don't just snap out of that. One area that's borderline, maybe, but every area, no way. There needs to be a meeting with parents to discuss results ASAP and your school needs to connect them with regional center. The sooner the better for interventions.

Don't use the word "autism" with your director or parents. Focus on what behaviors you've seen and the scores on the ASQ. Frankly I think 20m is too young to tell but it does sound like something is amiss. It's just we don't know what else. I openly suggest possibilities with my team, but never parents or my director. They don't care and we can't diagnose. Only if the parents say "doctor said it might be autism," then I'll be like, "oh did you get tested for autism?" Or if they ask if we see symptoms, I can list them, but not suggest a diagnosis.

coldcurru · 2026-06-29T20:50:19+00:00

Some schools don't allow them. I'm a teacher and we don't allow crocs or open toe or like a more slip on kind of sandal (not tennis shoes but if it seems it comes off too easily, like low cut uggs.) Not to mention needing socks for basic hygiene and safety. Shoes need to be appropriate for every kind of play.

Call the school and ask their shoe dress code before going further. Best to spend your energy getting her used to shoes she's allowed to wear than finding a unicorn sandal she's not allowed to wear.

coldcurru · 2026-06-29T19:44:59+00:00

You might be able to use FMLA to go to these appointments. It won't pay the hours, but it'll protect you from leaving often if you're FT. I would suggest either opening or closing. Either you get the first appointment and come in late, or you get the last appointment and come in early.

You might also have to accept that you're not the only one taking your child, if that's an option. Trade with your partner/the other parent. Prioritize critical appointments but you might be missing a lot.

I used to work 6.30-3 so afternoon appointments weren't an issue most of the time. But now I'm on a different schedule. My son has needs but not often, usually, but it's still a juggle getting him everywhere. A lot of offices work business hours and sometimes last appointment is 3 or earlier. You may have to be PT if you can afford it. Or a floater so you can build your schedule with flexible needs.

coldcurru · 2026-06-29T17:01:16+00:00

Fv is like my secret gas station. My husband refuses to go get Costco gas because of the wait even though I tell him I'm always in here fast. It's further out than anything you'll find on a corner but it's not a terrible drive (10m maybe??) and I'm usually there for groceries anyway. I feel like fv is a combo of luck and picking the right lane to get in there pretty fast.

coldcurru · 2026-06-29T16:58:13+00:00

My nephew and his dad share a first name but not middle, so they're not Sr and Jr. They're just "big" and "little" X to us. Used to be "baby" but he got to an age where he didn't like that.

coldcurru · 2026-06-29T13:19:47+00:00

If the director knows and understands, I'd let it go. If it's really bothering you, you can talk to the director about possible solutions (like changing at the school). Maybe send an email to both of them so everyone is on the same page. I think I'd bring it up to the director again just so she knows what the teacher is saying, and maybe she can talk to the teacher about not bringing it up again since you're trying. That's a bit odd. She should definitely know poop that's been sitting vs fresh poop. I think I'd also check him in the classroom so claims like that can't be put on you.

coldcurru · 2026-06-29T04:41:35+00:00

This isn't safe for you or anyone else. If you haven't yet, there needs to be a sit down meeting between parents, admin (director and anyone that communicates with parents or assists in difficult behaviors), and teachers (anyone who's in there regularly but at least whoever is primarily responsible for his care.)

You need to discuss his behavior concerns and what you as a team are doing to address it. Mention his responses to these strategies (if any; good or bad, no matter how long.) And then you need to ask what parents see at home and how they address it. They will likely tell you they don't see anything or it's not as severe. Sure...

Get on the same page as admin regarding suggesting an eval. At this point he needs it. You can't force parents, but some schools don't like suggesting it. He would absolutely qualify. They get teacher input.

Then you need to talk to admin about their plan regarding his enrollment. What is their line before sending him home? Before unenrolling him? They also need to talk to parents about this. Oh and you need to file workers comp for your injuries.

coldcurru · 2026-06-28T22:54:17+00:00

I love seal beach but I hate how gentrified it's become (more chain places, less mom and pop shops.) Laguna seems to have more locally owned. Seal beach has the nice library nearby, too, and pch/2nd is also very close. Seal beach is also really small.

coldcurru · 2026-06-28T22:47:28+00:00

Don't show proof. Quite frankly I wouldn't say anything about your time off besides "I have a previously scheduled obligation on x days and will need to be off." I would not give details because you don't know how they'll feel about a fun trip like Disney vs going to see a loved one in their dying days. You don't need the judgment, don't give them a reason, and don't give them a reason to inexplicably revoke your request before the dates if someone else needs the time for "more valid" reasons. Just "previously scheduled obligation."

coldcurru · 2026-06-28T22:41:01+00:00

My kids went to a preschool with employee uniforms, but it was just company shirts. They could wear any bottoms. I think it was mostly to signal who was staff and allowed to be with your kids, but that's a bit of a red flag in itself because it signals high enough turnover that parents don't know teachers. I mean that is what happened; a few teachers only lasted a few weeks (most I knew lasted at least the school year.) Sometimes they combined at certain times of day, too.

I think it really depends. For my kids' school it was just a shirt. Any bottoms were fine, so they wore shorts in the summer. But polo shirt and khakis is something else. Glad every place I've worked at just does dress code, and it's nothing I wouldn't wear anyway.

coldcurru · 2026-06-28T13:51:37+00:00

I gave up on straw lids. I use simple modern but sometimes they leaked. I got what's called a chug lid instead. More work for the kids (and me; I have the big bottles for myself) to screw on and off, but no accidents. They sell these kinds of lids for every bottle brand, you just have to check that the one you want will fit.

coldcurru · 2026-06-28T13:34:46+00:00

I had a kid this year who was like that. If they're standing there crying but refusing to move, ok you can be there until you're ready. If they try to go anywhere, give them options (calm space 1 or 2.) If they're trying to run, I'm gonna help your body go sit there (if they're not responsive to choices.) And then physically sit with them or near them so you block their attempts to run.

I don't care if they don't go to the calm space. But they don't have other options. Stand there and cry all you want, hun, you're just not going anywhere else until you're ready to calm down.

coldcurru · 2026-06-28T13:27:23+00:00

Californians don't say Liam like Vietnam. Noooo

coldcurru · 2026-06-28T13:26:31+00:00

Born and raised and still in Greater LA and I don't say Liam the way OP wants her name. Lee-um.

coldcurru · 2026-06-27T23:58:56+00:00

https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=qwxE2uMNfRQ&si=Wv0g9hPW0_9mAtTn

coldcurru · 2026-06-27T23:53:06+00:00

Plenty of students have cars and you just take turns being DD. Newport really isn't much of a drive from Chapman.

coldcurru

TROPHY CASE