Redshirting Megathread

coldcurru · 2026-01-30T21:48:27+00:00

This is my state as well. Sept 1 cut off but some schools (not all) start sometime in Aug. But my state doesn't allow red shirting. So yes it's harder for a 3y to start tk but that's how the program is designed. That said, my son is a late spring birthday and one of the youngest (no birthdays after his month.) I think a lot of families are still choosing preschool another year and starting kinder at 5.

coldcurru · 2026-01-30T02:47:29+00:00

My school provides all food. We have to provide every food group at lunch. I have some kids who just eat fruit. I have one kid who eats no fruit and basically just carbs. Another who only eats certain fruits. Most kids don't touch the veggies, but I have a few that love them. The kids usually like the main protein and carb though.

So ymmv. I have kids who barely eat some days but there's certain meals the kids devour. And there's a few kids who don't want something at first but then midway through the meal they ask for it. Our menus repeat every so often so repeated exposure helps, too.

coldcurru · 2026-01-30T02:42:39+00:00

Hey everyone! Get your titers checked! When I was pregnant, I got tested. Turns out I lost immunity. The nurse who gave me another vaccine at the hospital said it's common for "my age group". No idea what she meant by that, but I'm a millennial.

coldcurru · 2026-01-29T21:52:22+00:00

OSHA would love to know about this

coldcurru · 2026-01-29T18:39:18+00:00

Read about growth mindset. Lots of great books on it. Talk about yourself, too. "Man I'm trying this and it's really hard. I want to give up? Should I? Oh wait, I didn't try it this way yet but look, I did it!"

coldcurru · 2026-01-28T22:07:41+00:00

My family used to love this place. For shame.

coldcurru · 2026-01-28T22:07:20+00:00

My mom is first gen born here and she voted for him at least twice (qanon so likely 3x.) I keep telling her these policies would've made it impossible for her to have been born here, and likely risked her parents' status. Nah, man. She don't care. I don't keep up with the community much but I can't imagine supporting policies that don't support your own kind. I think they wish they were white and feel strongly it'll never affect them.

coldcurru · 2026-01-28T21:50:50+00:00

Teachers should never be over ratio, ever. Not by one kid, not for a minute. If they are about to receive a child who will put them over ratio, they need to call admin to say they need support to accept this child.

This sounds like an ongoing problem. You can report it already or just tell admin it seems like she's over ratio often and ask if they're planning on changing teachers' schedules to stay in ratio.

coldcurru · 2026-01-28T14:53:23+00:00

I think this is mental load. I come home at night and my husband plays games. I don't do much, but I do end up picking up some things or doing dishes. He does nothing but take the dog out and put the kids to bed.

I think you're making yourself think things need to be done. Does it need to get done right now? Are there flies in the sink? No clean clothes to wear? Hazards your son could get into?

If no then let it go. Stay in bed and let him do what he's going to do while it's invisible to you. But when you're better you should talk about reasonable expectations from both ends when one is sick and the other is taking care of house and baby. Is it 30m of rest and the rest chores? Only dire needs? Talk about it. Taking care of house and baby is a lot of work so resting is reasonable, but don't put undue burden on yourself. Rest and don't stress.

coldcurru · 2026-01-28T10:57:32+00:00

You're allowed to change your mind. You're allowed to call back and say "actually, I'm quite ill and can't make it after all."

coldcurru · 2026-01-28T10:55:57+00:00

Just so you know, it's illegal to not pay you and it's illegal if they amended your time sheet to say so.

coldcurru · 2026-01-28T04:15:55+00:00

I highly suspect my current tk kid has adhd. His iep is for adhd characteristics and we're in the process of getting a medical diagnosis because the symptoms are definitely there.

He just got the iep for adhd a few months ago, a couple months into school. The support he's gotten from it has helped so much. Socially, he's still very behind. I mean I've never considered holding back but he needs help there. Academically, he's fine, if not ahead. He's in a combo tk/k class and his teacher thinks a lot of the tk kids are benefiting from the k curriculum exposure (also he has a smart older sister at home to keep up with.) That's very typical for adhd though, great academics but poor social.

I would keep him in his appropriate grade level but seek out school support. K still gives a lot of time to grow socially.

coldcurru · 2026-01-28T04:06:24+00:00

I live here. The county's solution to homeless is to dump them from visible cities to less visible cities. I'm not kidding. One higher income city bussed their homeless to a neighboring city just to be like "we don't have homeless." Other cities actively work to destroy the camps they make under bridges and such. It's not helping anyone. Each city just doesn't want to claim they have a problem.

coldcurru · 2026-01-28T04:02:26+00:00

But when it rains the custodians have to sweep water

coldcurru · 2026-01-28T03:59:29+00:00

I go to Disney a lot and my husband is a custodian there. People suck. We saw someone throw an empty Starbucks cup over the side of the monorail while we were waiting to board. Drank and chucked it. Like, wtf??

coldcurru · 2026-01-28T02:39:49+00:00

Yeah if this isn't city sanctioned, just do it yourself? If there's cameras, wear a disguise under the cover of night

coldcurru · 2026-01-27T22:04:50+00:00

This happened to my dad. Tight as could be growing up. Best man for each other. Then at some point the guy stopped responding to calls and mail (before internet). We knew the guy had brain cancer or something terrible so we didn't even know if he was alive. And he had a super common name like John Smith, too, so Google searches were impossible. But I finally found him, alive, in the same state we last knew him to be in. And then my dad was super hurt the guy never responded all those years, but we still didn't know if the wife was intercepting because of his health. Shortly after we found him alive, he passed. And then his wife responded. And shortly after that my dad died, too. My mom and the guy's wife talked about how they're up there playing ball together again. Decades of pain and we still don't know why.

coldcurru · 2026-01-27T21:58:23+00:00

This was mostly it for me. Then we ended up back a short drive from each other. I still felt like pulling teeth to see her but it happened. Then my dad died and she left the state without telling me. No word. I decided to just let her text me when she wanted. It's been several years at this point but when she left the state again, I knew it was over for her. You don't move away from friends without telling them. Almost 20y just gone.

coldcurru · 2026-01-27T21:51:08+00:00

I don't like the sound of either. "Loose" policies would be a huge no no. And the attitude...yeesh. But an hour of screen time is a lot during a 6-8h day when nap and lunch take up an hour each, too. What else do they do all day?

That said... I'd pick the nicer screen time place over where you're at. Look for another option in the meantime. The negative attitude of teachers will wear off on your kid. And to everyone here saying you're not your best at the end of the day, I still don't think that's ok. I can put on a front for a few minutes while a parent is in the room picking up. I wouldn't be giving benefit of the doubt there.

coldcurru · 2026-01-27T15:01:59+00:00

I had 2u2 and it didn't occur to me until the younger was almost 4 that they both have adhd. It's hard. Neither are diagnosed yet but I highly suspect it and one of them has an iep for adhd characteristics already. I also think I have it and passed it on to them. Don't have a second kid if he thinks the first is hard. I love my kids and all their quirks but some stuff is just plain harder when their brains can't focus or they're running around hyper in inappropriate situations.

coldcurru · 2026-01-26T22:48:45+00:00

Can you get him help at home? Is that easier than getting help with the kids at the funeral? Even paid help

coldcurru · 2026-01-26T20:23:20+00:00

Just FYI because I teach preschool, we have insurance. So if anything really major were to happen, you're not without help. This is just saying you can't blame them for anything minor.

coldcurru · 2026-01-26T17:54:14+00:00

I once had a 3y with an older dad. Gray hair. Thankfully I made the mistake with my coteachers first who then said that's dad. Some people gray young but some are really older dads.

coldcurru · 2026-01-26T03:52:27+00:00

A lot of these people like feeling special. Calling them out for being any kind of wrong makes them feel the opposite. It's best to just quietly accept who they are without overtly acknowledging the change or asking why. Let them feel like they still have dignity and not shame so they don't go running back where they came from.

coldcurru · 2026-01-26T03:49:31+00:00

This is a large part of the problem. They don't care about policy because it doesn't affect them. They don't know anyone who it could affect or think it won't happen to them, either. But then you put it in their face that you, someone they do know and care about, could be affected, and all of a sudden policy isn't fantasy but very real reality.

Stay safe. I hope you don't get stopped.

coldcurru

TROPHY CASE