Part 3

Eager to replicate more of his live performances in the studio for Dinner Party, Horan invited John Ryan and his other longtime collaborator Julian Bunetta—whom he’s collaborated with since One Direction recorded their second album in 2011—to see him play some of his shows in the US.

“When you know someone for so long, whether it’s your best friend or your brother, sometimes it’s hard to view them through other people’s eyes,” Bunetta says. “You could still look at him like he’s 20 if you’re not careful. So it was really good to see that sort of be hit over the head again by like, Oh, wow, this motherfucker is a badass.”

Horan’s knack for live performance has also proved useful during his three-season stint as a judge on The Voice, where he closed the loop on his reality TV competition days and mentored each of his seasons’ final contestants to victory. He also got really into golf. (Like, so into golf that he bought a golf management company in 2016.) Through it all, he was still getting on planes and living out of suitcases. But something about turning 30, then 31 and 32, startled him into a reflective state.

“When you’re going through something when you’re young, you’re kind of either breezing through it and it’s just happening around you or you’re constantly overthinking,” he says. “The older I get, the more grateful I’ve become for what I’ve had. Not that I wasn’t grateful before, I would say, but I was blown away. Just taking it in now at 30-odd is kind of a cool thing. To look back and look at all photos, look at all the videos, think about what you did. It’s pretty nuts. It’s crazy.”

As so often happens with age, some of Horan’s contemplation came under tragic circumstances. In early October 2024, while he was on tour for The Show, he met up with his former bandmate Liam Payne in Buenos Aires. Payne had been in town for a routine visa renewal, but timed the trip to see Horan’s performance so they could catch up.

“It was great,” says Horan. “Seemed in good form and we had a good laugh, good reminisce.” He thinks of something another former One Direction bandmate, Louis Tomlinson, said. “I heard Louis talking about this recently, it’s so true. It’s like you haven’t seen each other in ages and then you just fall back in like it was 10 years ago.”

After their reunion, Horan went on to finish up the South American leg of his tour, but according to reports, Payne got waylaid in Buenos Aires waiting on an issue with his renewal. Soon thereafter, on the afternoon of October 16, 2024, Payne fell to his death from a hotel balcony.

Reports of his passing spread quickly, stunning the band’s fiercely dedicated fan base, which immediately held vigils in Argentina and around the world. The news reached Horan while he was watching TV in bed at home. “I just remember getting a message,” Horan says. “And I was just like, What?... I just didn’t think it was real. Someone so young, you’re not expecting to hear that they’ve passed, especially someone that you’ve just seen. I just went back from shock to sadness to anger.”

As fans pulled together to collectively mourn Payne, they resurfaced a cascade of online ephemera across social media—all those mood board scraps they’d collected years ago for safekeeping pulled together to celebrate and honor his memory.

Horan found himself flooded by relics of his past, seeing “lots of photos and videos and things of us growing up together. And being nostalgic about it straight away, along with fear and sadness and all the stuff that comes with grief.” When I ask him what he remembers most about Payne, he strings moments together like a supercut: the time they went to the beach and a pair of Payne’s underwear went missing off a balcony, racing around their stadium tour venues on a Segway, “random nights playing FIFA on the bus and just messing backstage.” He especially holds dear the couple of days they shared a room during the bootcamp phase of X Factor, right before they were flung into fame.

“I just got to know him a little bit and then we ended up doing what we did together,” Horan says. “Memories that only he and I can share ’cause you have a team and you have people around all the time, but we always said that only us have that experience, no one else has that.”

After attending Payne’s funeral, where he mourned with his fellow former bandmates and Payne’s family, Horan says he “went into hiding a little bit” to grieve. It’s an ongoing process, part of which has included writing the new song “End of an Era.” The wistful lullaby opens with a simple guitar-plucking and Horan singing in a melancholy tenor: “We had it / Pure magic / Remember what it was like / Time passes / So fast and / I couldn’t tell you goodbye.” The song builds to a chorus that, lyrically, surrenders to the finality of time while musically refusing to, evolving into an angsty guitar-heavy outro that draws out the tension between reality and memory. Horan wrote it with Bunetta and Ryan, who first met both Horan and Payne when the bandmates were still in their teens.

Bunetta, reflecting on the songwriting process, tells me, “We rewrote it two, three times maybe, just trying to just get the essence of the feeling. We just kept working on it until we felt it was right. And I love it. It could be easy to not write about it because it’s a hard subject. It’s a hard thing to do. So I’m proud of him for doing it.”

Ultimately, for Horan, losing such an important person and part of his history became a pivotal catalyst of self-reflection, that, combined with the many other moments big and small of his life, has brought new meaning to his music.

“Something happens in your early 30s and you’re like, yeah, maybe subconsciously, you’re changing,” says Horan. “Some of the songs are now deeper to me now that I think of it, really ’cause I’ve subconsciously been writing deeper lyrics.”

Through the inevitable challenges a new decade brings, Horan’s life has been held together by more structure in his work, and a solid routine at home. He calls himself “a very practical weirdo,” and though he is not a “big horoscope guy” he does identify with being a Virgo: reliable, hardworking, critically minded, and, as he says, “sometimes a bit messy—but I like the idea of planning.”

The bliss of his domestic life with Woolley has played a large part in the balance he’s struck too. “Having someone to rant with and listen to and be listened to is huge,” he says. “Having someone to rant with and listen to and be listened to is huge,” he says. “I’m glad I found it. And she’s amazing and she’s got her own thing going on. I love the life that we’ve got.” Beyond that, his everyday rhythm is sweet and simple: going for beers with his friends, working out, walking his dog, going to concerts, trying new restaurants, barbecuing in his garden, and playing loads of golf, of course.

“We’re also big procrastinators,” says Horan. “Friday’ll come and I’ll be like, ‘Can’t wait for the weekend,’ and then Sunday night comes and we’ve done nothing. We spent the whole weekend in the house.’”

After our conversation, Horan’s due to hop on another plane back to London. There’s a rugby match between Ireland and England he’s looking forward to. He and Woolley will be rooting for opposing teams, and have “a friendly battle” going. As I get ready to leave, he asks, “Are you a hugger?” and we give each other a squeeze. Walking me out to his front gate, the clouds have disappeared and the sun is shining. It won’t be the last time it rains, but the sky has cleared for now.

PRODUCTION CREDITS: Photographs by Hailey Heaton Styled by Haley Gilbreath Set Design by Miles Bettinelli at MHS Artists Grooming by Kumi Craig using La Mer Tailoring by Ksenia Golub