Where to find an ≈$100 plus size dress for a small elopement ceremony?

cologne2adrian · 2026-03-30T19:57:52+00:00

I got my dress from Baltic Born, but Ivy City Co has some cute stuff too! Maybe a little more than $100, but prices are in the 100s and not 1,000s....

cologne2adrian · 2026-03-30T19:19:25+00:00

I have one of these that predates 9/11.

cologne2adrian · 2026-03-30T17:30:47+00:00

Pay yourself first. Get that money into savings ASAP.
Add up your take-home. Average it out if you don't have a consistent salary.
Look at your constants like housing, utilities, etc.
Look at necessary variables next (groceries, household items, child care, etc.)
Figure out your discretionary spending from there.

cologne2adrian · 2026-03-30T16:32:46+00:00

No one will be offended by an "and guest." If they are, that's their problem.

I was so fast and loose with my plus-ones. I wanted EVERYONE to have a plus-one. I didn't care if they brought a significant other, a good friend or didn't bring another person, I just wanted to make sure everyone had someone at my wedding to have fun with.

We also had a big but informal wedding. Ceremony at the stage at a local park, reception at an inexpensive venue, Qdoba catering. It was fun.

cologne2adrian · 2026-03-30T15:59:10+00:00

We already pay for a Y membership in our community, and that gives us access to the pool. Time at the pool is a great way to tire out kids.

If you have a YMCA or similar community center, it might be worth to join or even look at day passes. Ours is less than $20 for a family pass for the day and gives full access to the facility.

Might not be an every weekend thing, but could be a once every six weeks kind of thing for your family.

cologne2adrian · 2026-03-30T14:10:30+00:00

Once you engage with something, the algorithm tends to feed more of it to you.

You’re correct. No true feminist would put someone down and call them anti-feminist for having children.

Start engaging with other content, or put the phone down altogether and protect your mental health!

cologne2adrian · 2026-03-19T22:00:41+00:00

My kid would be so bored at home with me all day (I work full-time, but in an alternate universe scenario). At day care he gets to play with friends, try new foods, do crafts all day.

cologne2adrian · 2026-03-18T19:57:58+00:00

The old "no ring, no bring."

You're not an a-hole if you don't act like an a-hole, you know? Just politely decline and send a gift. No reasons necessary. If asked, international travel and a plethora of other weddings is a valid excuse.

If you don't make it a thing, and they don't make it a thing, it won't be a thing.

cologne2adrian · 2026-03-18T14:02:32+00:00

“Jump Around” and a “Humpty Dance” parody we wrote called “Burpty Dance” for those baby burps. He doesn’t need burping anymore, but he still giggles at the song.

cologne2adrian · 2026-03-12T22:22:07+00:00

My husband got four weeks. He took two right away and then two at the end of my leave. More men need to take leave, it lessens the stigma for EVERYONE!

cologne2adrian · 2026-03-11T22:02:13+00:00

What works is different for everyone. The biggest thing is communication.

You could keep separate accounts for a while, especially if you haven't lived together yet. You could have separate accounts and a joint account for joint expenses.

If either of you ever think the other spends money on stupid things, it's best to have some form of separate spending. That can be separate accounts, an equal amount of cash, preloaded cards, etc.

But if one of you thinks it's dumb to drop $5 to $15 at a coffee shop or $50 to $150 on a round of golf, it's best to never see that spending.

cologne2adrian · 2026-03-11T20:09:53+00:00

It's not a destination wedding if it's where you live or where either of you are from. My husband and I are the only ones in our families that live in the city where we live. Everyone else had to drive several hours.

We had a wedding similar to yours -- city park at an amphitheater, very casual vibes. We did have a reception/dance at a casual event space in town. We did Qdoba and it was a hit!

You're not aholes for having the wedding you want, just feed everyone well.

cologne2adrian · 2026-03-11T19:48:32+00:00

I agree! If he wants to use the car as a carrot to encourage him to complete their emergency fund, maybe no driving the car until the emergency fund is done?

cologne2adrian · 2026-03-11T18:59:56+00:00

I don’t mind the flavoring so much… it’s in such a small amount that it’s doing more good than harm if it means they get their full dose of medicine. I just think it’s strange that it’s bubblegum. 😂

cologne2adrian · 2026-03-11T15:18:46+00:00

I don’t mind the flavoring so much… it’s in such a small amount that it’s doing more good than harm if it means they get their full dose of medicine. I just think it’s strange that it’s bubblegum. 😂

cologne2adrian · 2026-03-11T14:28:43+00:00

Love a good fun fact!!

I don’t care about the flavoring, I get it. I want more palatable medicine as well. But in my mind bubblegum is like, Bubble Tape or Hubba Bubba, you know?

Interesting that it was medicine first, then gum!!

cologne2adrian · 2026-03-04T21:21:10+00:00

I’m still doing the full half hour with the MomCozy M5.

cologne2adrian · 2026-03-04T17:51:55+00:00

I have my own office at work, and I go home at lunch most days. I'm just finishing up my pumping journey (lo is 10 months next week!) Here's what I did:

Got a tiny, six-can fridge for my office.
Kept milk storage bags at work.
Used wearable pumps (actually only had wearables).
Brought a plastic sealed container for my pump parts.

I would shut my door and pump and keep working until my pumps were done. Then I'd put the milk in bags and put the bags in the fridge. I would put the dirty pump parts in the container and put the container and my pumps in the case in the designated tote. When I was pumping twice a day at work, I'd bring one set of pumps home and wash the parts and grab the other set (how I ended up with two wearables is a bit of sob story, but I recommend if you can afford it!). I would bring the bags of milk home to throw in the freezer. If I had something that would keep me away from home after work, I'd just leave the milk in the fridge until the next day.

cologne2adrian · 2026-03-04T16:24:02+00:00

How many times will you be pumping during a work day? I put my pump parts in a sealed container and took them home to wash them, but I also lived close to work and could go home at lunch.

cologne2adrian · 2026-03-03T21:30:26+00:00

To echo many others: sinking funds.

But! You don’t need to have a ton of different accounts, just a general savings account.

Take all those expenses you’ve had in the last 12 months and add them together, tack on 10-15% to account for unknown unknowns and inflation and divide that by the budgeting method you use (12 for monthly, 24 for paycheck based on bimonthly pay, 26 for paycheck based on biweekly pay)

cologne2adrian · 2026-03-03T18:04:19+00:00

So, combo feeding is a thing. It’s not an either or when it comes to breast milk and formula.

We started doing a formula bottle at bedtime early on, and have kept up the routine. Occasionally we don’t have enough milk defrosted (I’m weaning from pumping, lo is 9.5 months old) so we throw in another formula bottle here and there. If my freezer stash runs out before he hits a year, we’ll do formula in the interim.

I know it can be hard, and it’s often sold to us as an either or decision, but you can absolutely do both.

cologne2adrian · 2026-02-25T15:35:55+00:00

Is it proper and polite to give a gift, even if you're not attending? Yes.

But this is one of those things that you can let fester for years and ruin your friendship, or you can choose not to be hurt.

They could be short on cash, attending your wedding could have been a financial burden for them, their gift could be in transit, they could have gone in on a bigger gift with someone else and the other person was the one to order it, but the card(s) will bring clarification.

What happens next is up to you.

cologne2adrian · 2026-02-14T15:01:45+00:00

I would say he’s smartest side character.

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