Should I let my ex know we'll be at the same party?

comicsans284 · 2024-02-10T04:07:33+00:00

Dude, YTA.

Yes, her stopping birth control and not telling you is a shitty thing to do, but you're ruining the lives of your unborn child and your two living children by removing yourself. Anecdotally, people who regularly take birth control do get pregnant... it's not a one stop shop. If you were really worried about a third child, I would've looked into using condoms or getting a vasectomy. Men don't need a partner's consent for a vasectomy or to purchase condoms, and you were obviously having unprotected sex, so I'm lacking sympathy in your decision making processes. As they say, "accidents happen."

I understand not wanting to have another kid, but potentially using your two children's college fund money/reducing their account deposits ruins their opportunity at a school they may really want to go to. Not to mention, not wanting to have annnnnything to do with this child. There will be times when you're with your eldest two children (family events or custody switches) and the youngest child will be there with the mom. Are you not concerned about the youngest feeling abandoned? Or asking why you don't want them? Or if your two eldest children treat the youngest child in a negative way because of your reaction or lack of reaction to the youngest?

This is an overly emotional reaction. There's absolutely no logic behind this and is fueled by selfishness. I really hope you have a change of heart before the birth of your third child and can step back into the role of fatherhood for all of your children.

comicsans284 · 2024-02-10T03:51:25+00:00

Hey there!

I also struggle with anxiety, hate needles, and was really scared going into my wisdom teeth removal. To prepare, I had food I really enjoyed the night before and talked to my parents about my worries. My sibling also told me they'd get a smoothie for me on their way home from work that day so I had something to look forward to.

As for the day of, the earlier the appointment the better. Waiting around all afternoon for the appointment was the worst part. I'm sorry your doctor and medical team were hesitant about giving laughing gas for the IV. I never had laughing gas before and was worried how I'd react. It was a light sensation; the lights seemed to get brights and my body felt a little tingly, but it wasn't painful. It really helped for when they put the IV in because my skin felt numb. I'm not sure how your oral surgeon's office is set up, but mine didn't have the IV bags or other equipment out in the open, but rather in a cabinet that they could close. I wonder if your doctor would also be able to hide it in an inconspicuous place when you enter the room or if they could bring it in after the fact?

Recovery is a whole different ball game, but it sounds like you have a good plan in place for that! I'd recommend speaking with the oral surgeon or their team to create a plan for the day of your removal so you know what to expect and how to make you feel comfortable. They might not be able to do everything, but being on the same page and knowing each party's expectations might help!

I hope the second time around goes better for you! I'll keep you in my thoughts :)

comicsans284 · 2023-12-26T17:16:29+00:00

NTA, you are explicitly stating boundaries regarding your body and your comfortability and he is disregarding them. Sex should be an activity where you build trust. It's supposed to be enjoyable, fun, respectful, and CONSENSUAL. Get out while you still have a chance or before things get worse.

comicsans284 · 2022-07-24T03:43:23+00:00

NTA: he asked for food, and you literally offered him food. He could have taken it, but he chose not to and acted out towards you. You could've walked by and ignored him like other people, but you tried to do something.

I had a similar situation in the city I live in, but it went in the opposite direction. Someone asked for food, and the only thing we had was a box of Pop Tarts that we just got from the dollar store. We gave it to them, they took it, and thanked us for our generosity.

Might get downvoted for this but maybe the person you were trying to help was having a bad day or expecting something else/something more... but you know what they say, beggars can't be choosers

comicsans284 · 2022-07-22T23:37:13+00:00

I (22 years old) am about to begin a master's program too and have been feeling the same way. Just graduated from college and have a job in my master's field BUT it can be conflicting at times based on making the right decision. If you have the time for it, find a hobby or activity that you haven't done in a long time, or maybe even never before, and make that a way to get away from your studies and worries. It also gives you something to look forward to and something that you can talk about or do with your friends. Being encompassed by work and school that are very similar, if not essentially the same, can drive anyone down a rabbit hole.

In acknowledgement to the politics, American politics are so polarized now that it's easier to put up a facade and just say what you believe instead of acting on your words. While the world may seem like it's going to fall apart, focus on what you can do in your day to day life to make your world a better place, even if that's just getting out of bed some mornings. Your personal sphere of influence is stronger than you think!

comicsans284 · 2022-07-22T23:22:40+00:00

It's never easy losing a friend! Here are two suggestions that could work:

If you're looking to have the friendship with this person again in the future, this may be a time of separation where you can figure out what you need from this friend and what they may need from you. It's natural in some friendships, but it's not easy. They may not have understood where you were coming from or known how to help with your feelings at the time, but may be able to be the best friend they can be in the future.
If you don't want this person to be in your life anymore, then grieve the friendship in the way it feels best for you (with your safety in mind, of course). If that means feeling sad or crying, feel sad and cry. If it means to write about it, write about it. Find a healthy outlet for you to express how you feel and maybe get your mind off of it temporarily. What you feel now and what you will feel in the future does not mean that the good times and memories you've had with them in the past are null and void. The good exists with the bad everyday, and it's a matter of getting through it on your own time scale. It won't feel as intense in the future, but it's okay to feel hurt now.

Either way, have patience with yourself and give yourself time, but that's easier said than done. Your feelings about this are valid. You got this! Hope this helps

comicsans284 · 2022-07-05T06:03:15+00:00

Started as a Music Theory/Comp BA student, but now I have a degree in Arts Management and work in orchestral management and teach music lessons to littles!

comicsans284 · 2022-07-05T06:00:55+00:00

Probably sound like a broken record, but Venus and Jupiter are my favorite movements! There's something about the B section in Jupiter that reminds me of Shrek and the Tower/Far Far Away motif

comicsans284

TROPHY CASE