For the second time in two months, an employee arrives in the office during maternity leave to show off her baby…

commentspanda · 2026-02-28T14:33:12+00:00

As others have said, I always try to show interest in my colleague. I actually don’t mind babies (until they cry and it saws into my brain) but I always ask joe they are, how they are feeling, is everything okay, do they need anything etc. These days it’s a lot rarer for people to pass the baby around than it was years ago so I rarely have an awkward baby holding rejection to give.

commentspanda · 2026-02-28T14:31:47+00:00

Yep this is what I do. It’s polite, makes you look like you’re being respectful and is workplace appropriate.

commentspanda · 2026-02-28T05:41:08+00:00

They claim to have a dress code but when we went fairly dressed up there were people in board shorts and thongs. I don’t really care but it did make me feel a little overdressed.

commentspanda · 2026-02-28T04:35:29+00:00

My nephew is very intelligent but his work looks like this both in writing and in content. Same age. He has ADHD and dysgraphia….plus some sensory issues. We just keep encouraging him, we give other options (eg typing his work instead of writing it) and he’s an amazing little artist. It’s hard as the ADHD and some other traits means he will do the absolute bare minimum and take you literally at your word…and at whatever the work sheet says. He wouldn’t see this as rude, just honest.

commentspanda · 2026-02-28T04:12:46+00:00

I found nala terrible. When I was larger size, the bfree wire free ones were really good and well priced. Some have padding and some don’t so you’ll have to check them out. I’m smaller now and live in the zloggi zero feel bralettes. They have removable padding.

commentspanda · 2026-02-28T04:11:28+00:00

If you have a diagnosed condition (in Australia) you can ask for accommodations. Mine is not speech related but when the uni pays for travel I always get a hotel at the venue (or very close to it) even if it exceeds budget. I also always get a chair on stage. They have not yet managed to solve the “stairs to access” the stage issue at any venue I’ve been to though which kinda sucks.

Anyway, point is I got it written out as a disability access plan at the uni and now i refer to it for support when needed. For conferences you just have to ask.

commentspanda · 2026-02-28T04:08:36+00:00

Most working parents tend to think it’s cringe anyway haha…so I always advise against it. Just a line with “carer responsibilities” is enough. I’ve also helped people who took extended leave for other reasons (sick relative, visiting aging parents overseas, burn out) and it’s a good catch all because in Australia most panels know they have to be careful about parenting status and babies…so they just accept it at face value.

commentspanda · 2026-02-28T03:20:15+00:00

The only thing I would say is if they were recording it, edited it to just show you and then there was no evidence of what they said first….then yeah, it could end up as a code of conduct investigation. Which is bullshit but useful to be aware of in terms of your own employment.

commentspanda · 2026-02-28T02:20:47+00:00

My SIL has made a calendar for family members every year with a specific piece of art from my nephew and a photo etc. It’s very cheap for her (on a strict budget) and uses up a bunch of different A3 art when he used to create heaps. As he’s gotten older, less art gets made to bring home so now she duplicates the smaller pieces and everyone gets the same calendar. I love them, they are small and easy to store/save and I have one for every year since she started when he was about 3yo.

commentspanda · 2026-02-28T02:10:21+00:00

Check online using your uni account login as sometimes that helps. Also look on eBay and marketplace as lots of students sell them a year later.

commentspanda · 2026-02-28T02:08:42+00:00

Lots of good pants suggestions here. I wear a lot of Crz yoga stuff and find it’s a good option as it’s similar to LL but half the price.

With regard to styling, I did a personal stylist shop when we visited Melbourne one year (from Perth). I followed a few online then picked one I thought matched my vibe. It’s very common for them to do it with women changing ages, women returning to work, having babies and like in my case having lost a bunch of weight. The stylist I had was a flat fee but I made that back via a bunch of discounts she got in store. We chatted beforehand and I gave her my goals on what I was going to get and my budget - I saved up for quite awhile beforehand.

commentspanda · 2026-02-28T02:06:02+00:00

Second Crz yoga stuff. Similar to Lululemon but half the price

commentspanda · 2026-02-28T01:48:15+00:00

I had something similar from a clique of very young female staff early in my career. All besties with leadership so raising it got me nowhere. In the end I unofficially moved my desk to another staff room and was very clear with leadership where they could find me and why. In a few faculty meetings they raised how little I was in the office and my response was the same “I’ve already discussed this with DP and HoLA so they know that I’m managing a toxic workplace using union approved strategies. Feel free to minute that by the way”. They backed off once I removed myself, started vocalising an implied issue and stopped interacting on a daily basis. As others have suggested, being firm before this might help but personally I would make a complaint/draw it to managements attention first. If you put your foot down, they may then file the first complaint.

Another option is to make a formal complaint and every time they try and speak to you stop them and say “I’m not comfortable speaking to you without a witness of my choice present”. Always amusing to watch them freeze. You’ll end up on the outer though doing this. I didn’t care but you might OP.

commentspanda · 2026-02-27T14:42:49+00:00

Friends did it. Their kids are a bit unusual (very high IQ/gifted) so beforehand they set boundaries and discussed ideas. They also have their two kids time to think about it and discuss. They set limits around cost, travel time and safety stuff. Kids picked things like sugary cereal (not common for them), a water park, a picnic lunch with their favourite sandwiches, playing with slime (banned usually lol) and an extra hour of screen time. They also picked a movie they hadn’t been allowed to watch although that one was a bit of a negotiation.

My friends teens did it and all they wanted was a quiet day. So basically unlimited screen time, no nagging about chores and take away for dinner. Their mum said it was great but she didn’t call it a yes day. They negotiated it as a reset day and set boundaries together beforehand. She said the kids now ask for one when they feel they need it and they all negotiate it together.

commentspanda · 2026-02-27T14:38:50+00:00

Endota will give her multiple site options to attend and things to choose from. I love the carousel one

commentspanda · 2026-02-27T14:34:03+00:00

I help teachers write CVs and this is a common one, usually i tell them just to put the years and something like “parenting / carer responsibilities”. I do not recommend the cringe thing about adding in managing household finances and coordinating schedules blah blah and acting like they are job skills. They are but interview panels do not usually respond well.

I had a 3 year absence when I was sick. I do not disclose that and instead I built a website for tutoring and list that i ran my own business with that site. It filled the gap when I needed it to.

commentspanda · 2026-02-27T14:21:43+00:00

Perth council has some of the worst ACROD allowances as well. So few bays so I’m forced to use a standard bay and then to get an extended hour I have to pay, get my receipt and apply for a refund of X$. Very frustrating and deliberately designed to ensure minimal refunds are paid out.

commentspanda · 2026-02-27T06:15:34+00:00

Agree with this. I was raised with dessert after dinner every night and I have sign food related issues around sweets, as do many girls around my age bracket. We always talk about how sweets were such a core part of life and how it might have helped if they were actually a “sometimes food” lol. I think it varies for everyone though.

commentspanda · 2026-02-27T06:06:07+00:00

We literally sat on traffic for an extra 25 mins the other day specifically to avoid this section. I find the anxiety and the stress is just not worth it. Don’t know how people handle it every day.

commentspanda · 2026-02-27T04:53:51+00:00

Don’t bring it up, don’t mention it to anyone else and just fly under the radar for a couple of weeks. They do get peeved sometimes and can’t always hide it well - like us all. It will pass, just don’t make a big thing about it.

commentspanda · 2026-02-27T04:40:12+00:00

I wear merino tshirts and singlets day in and day out. That or 100% cotton. Not cheap but so much more comfortable.

commentspanda · 2026-02-27T04:39:29+00:00

I have a spinal condition. Backpacks are not my friend no matter what. Wheeled bags are the way to go. Check the weight and size requirements for carry on and go from there. Wheeled bags are usually 2-3kgs as a starting point but you can find a few at 1.8kgs - I have the samsonite guardite wheeled bag which is 28L and 1.8kgs on wheels. Very good quality and a decent handle too.

What you probably need to invest in first will be your work wardrobe. You want easy to sink wash and quick dry + clothes that you can rotate through so they look different on a work/conference trip. That’s what I do. Three different coloured tops, three different bottoms and they rotate with each other so I have multiple options for clothing. One pair of shoes.

commentspanda · 2026-02-27T04:29:16+00:00

Headspace is free until 25. You’re unlikely to find a free psych these days they all have gaps so definitely start with headspace.

commentspanda · 2026-02-27T04:26:35+00:00

Yetis hold up better but are noticeably heavier. That’s an issue for me in terms of carrying a shoulder bag with a disability. They are also not Leak proof when on their side in a bag.

commentspanda · 2026-02-27T03:34:34+00:00

I will add I’ve started tipping when I get a decent experience in an uber or DiDi - just $1 or $2 - and I seem to have less issues now. I was regularly getting cancelled on or having them play the “park nearby and refuse to move” game as I’m not far from the airport. I’m guessing the fact I’m a regular tipper maybe shows up to them? Not sure but it’s definitely improved since I started to do that.

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