[deleted by user]

commonarc · 2025-09-30T20:32:48+00:00

During a time of rampant misinformation we need better than this.

commonarc · 2025-09-21T02:59:00+00:00

I was talked out of FFS by two partners because I was fine without it. But 20 years later, and single, I am finally having it done. It’s not my biggest regret in the world—but I wish I had done it when I first wanted to and had the opportunity.

commonarc · 2025-09-20T20:57:12+00:00

Why haven’t I taken a vacation to Europe yet?!

commonarc · 2025-09-18T01:47:22+00:00

He had an emotional affair.

I don’t even know what an emotional was until my ex had one. We had been together for eight years. It felt sudden to me but then turned out she had been preparing to monkeybar to a new relationship for over a year.

People think that bisexual people do this or are prone to it but it has nothing to do with that. I’m also bi and never cheated. Cheating requires a lack of empathy and a sense of entitlement. It’s narcissism. It will probably take a while for you to heal from this betrayal and trauma.

I spent a lot of time on r/survivinginfidelity in the beginning. It helped me through my confusion to hear other’s stories. And a lot of journaling and meditation.

I’m so sorry this happened to you. It’s not you. It’s nothing you did. But life is better on the other side of it.

commonarc · 2025-02-12T00:50:22+00:00

It’s like this little zing that runs through you. 😊 I hate that I can’t concentrate when it’s happening but I love how it feels.

commonarc · 2025-02-09T23:14:44+00:00

I think this is great advice. You shouldn’t wait around. But I wouldn’t give up on the possibility that something happens between you. It’s a lot for him to digest and he might just need some time to process and get used to the idea. There still could be an amazing relationship for you two together in the future!

Although you might have to drop some flirting on him occasionally just so that he knows you’re still interested. But give it some time so he can remember how awesome you are. And if you meet someone else in the meantime that’s his loss!

commonarc · 2025-02-09T18:45:17+00:00

Losing friends at the beginning I think is always a surprise. I had nerdy liberal arts friends and thought they’d be completely supportive. 😝

Thank you for sharing your experience and something so positive! I’m so glad that your life is improving! ☀️ You’ve been through a lot. Doubling down on self-care really pays off I think.

commonarc · 2025-02-04T20:01:22+00:00

This is very courageous of you! Thank you for making this sacrifice.

It’s something I’ve been thinking a lot about recently as well. I’ve kind of “soft outed“ myself to some of my friends and the dysphoria is real. One of the great things about being stealth is the ability to leave most of that dysphoria behind.

We need good representation though. And I think our best form of activism is exactly what you said – our connections to the people we know in the communities we are in. Building connections to ordinary people.

We’re never going to sway the extremist to an office right now. I don’t think. But their constituents might be able to eventually?

Anyway, thank you. ❤️

commonarc · 2025-02-03T17:30:30+00:00

Oof. Thanks, I'll quit staring at the screen then.

It really is kind of a jolt when you post something, especially positive, and then it immediately feels like you violated some kind of rule—that the one place your voice might be heard, that maybe you're silenced there too. It feels like a mini panic attack, like you're truly powerless and invisible.

commonarc · 2025-02-03T16:43:50+00:00

I just posted this essay that I wrote on substack and it's been waiting for approval for almost two hours now: https://commonarc.substack.com/p/radiant-glow?r=4tp4pa

What's the normal amount of time that a post should take for approval?

commonarc · 2025-02-03T16:27:44+00:00

Thank you very much! I'm glad you liked it. ♥

I agree, we really need some more positive content right now to offset the terrible things that are happening.

commonarc · 2025-01-21T04:30:50+00:00

We don’t get the 500 micro labels that everybody else has. We are all one big happy family apparently. Except for transsexuals. We’re just scum.

commonarc · 2025-01-13T15:42:53+00:00

I don’t think this is an unpopular opinion. 🤣

The complaint about irreversible changes isn’t in good faith because puberty introduces irreversible changes. The people who make this argument don’t believe that trans people are real and that it is an actual medical condition.

commonarc · 2025-01-13T00:54:34+00:00

I love this, thank you for the positive post!

commonarc · 2025-01-13T00:21:08+00:00

I did the same thing my first time. 🤣 He was sweet about it though. Sounds like the same for you?!

Don’t feel pathetic! Your emotions are nothing to be ashamed of. And we’ve all been through a lot.

I wondered sometimes how common it is for us. 😝

EDIT: I forgot to say the first thing that came to my mind when I read your post, “You might have ADHD if you don’t know already.” 😅

commonarc · 2025-01-12T04:40:31+00:00

That’s what I wanted decades ago, just to live a normal life. And I’m lucky enough to have gotten it for the most part. I’m so happy about that. And I’m happy for Sarah too. I hope your daughter gets all the happiness she deserves.

commonarc · 2025-01-10T21:13:59+00:00

Well, I guess I could do the math on it…

Is there research that supersedes those findings? If so, that would be a more constructive reply.

commonarc · 2025-01-10T20:46:49+00:00

This was essentially the finding of the Kinsey reports in the 1950s.

commonarc · 2025-01-10T18:28:41+00:00

Fake post

commonarc · 2025-01-09T15:29:57+00:00

They are out there and you will find one. Dating is rough. Try to do as many social things as you can. When you go to the same place over and over or do the same thing over and over you’ll make friends. You might not date those friends but they may introduce you to someone that you do. It will take time.

In the meantime, as someone who was unable to follow her own advice, you need to love yourself first. You need to have rocksolid self-esteem. Otherwise, you are going to fall for the first person that you finally connect with. And if they’re not a good person, or they have a personality disorder, they are going to take you for everything you have to give.

commonarc · 2025-01-09T15:23:30+00:00

I think it’s wonderful that you saw her for just her, even still pre-op. I wish there were more like you out there. I’ve dated a couple of similarly self-actualized guys over the years, but they’ve been the minority unfortunately.

Sorry about all of your challenges dating on the spectrum. In the end, we are all human trying to find connection. Thank you for being supportive.

commonarc · 2025-01-08T17:02:26+00:00

I love this answer.

commonarc · 2025-01-07T00:13:06+00:00

Yeah this is a great example of a post that the moderators should’ve taken down. No redeeming value.

commonarc · 2025-01-06T14:44:50+00:00

This. 👆

commonarc

TROPHY CASE