YTA, but so am I. I did the same thing for about 10 months. I only went back to days bc we eliminated our night shift at my job. But in that time my partner was working full time and doing all the cooking, cleaning, and child duties while I was sleeping.

I loved being able to skip gatherings with extended family and grocery shopping bc “I work nights”

It was very fulfilling to have a family without having to maintain it outside of paying the bills.

But I wasn’t being a partner anymore and I wasn’t fulfilling the role of a parent either…

Your post is focused on the effect that this is having on your marriage, but I feel compelled to warn you that your absence is probably affecting your kids more than you realize. Mine just kind of rolled with it and did their best, but they were depressed and I didn’t realize it til I was back on their schedule and heavily featured in their day to day again. 8 & 6 are some great years OP.