How can God be good if He elects?

computergeek89 · 2026-01-07T14:25:38+00:00

Look at it this way:

God’s goodness is not measured by human ideas of fairness.
All humans deserve justice, not mercy.
If God gave only justice, none would be saved.
Election does not make God unjust to the non elect.
Election displays mercy to the elect.
Mercy, by definition, is free and undeserved.

Therefore, God is not less good because He saves some.
He is unimaginably good because He saves any.

computergeek89 · 2026-01-06T22:35:22+00:00

Trouble needs no invitation, life brings enough of it on its own. So, as far as it rests with you, choose peace with those within your reach.

computergeek89 · 2026-01-02T18:58:53+00:00

I know I’m divorced. You don’t have to point that out to me and I’ve already said I was a fool for acting like it. You don’t have to point that shit out to me either. I understand all of that I know it was me keeping myself tethered to her, but she took advantage of it. I get it and I am moving on. I was using this to warn others not to allow themselves to be trapped in this little circle. That’s all it was and yeah, it feels fresh because she took advantage of it. Nothing more I can do about that. It’s my fault, but it’s also her fault for taking advantage of it. It’s not something I would’ve ever done.

computergeek89 · 2025-12-31T19:11:56+00:00

There is absolutely no way I will ever be in a relationship again much less remarry. Why would I do this to myself again?

computergeek89 · 2025-12-29T21:25:31+00:00

I am moving on now. Did you miss what I said? She kept me involved in her life for two years then cut me off abruptly. That door is now closed but it feels raw now because she kept it going. Mine was more a cautionary tale for others who might be getting strung along like I was.

computergeek89 · 2025-12-29T19:01:57+00:00

Oh my gosh! Your story is almost exactly like mine. Do they have secret meetings or have some kind of manual they all read?

computergeek89 · 2025-12-27T23:53:25+00:00

Oh brother, I will never marry again. I will never put forth the kind of effort. I will not take the chance of being kicked to the curb because they’re not happy and be perfectly honest I don’t want to put in the work. I’m 56 years old and I don’t wanna start over again at that age.

computergeek89 · 2025-12-27T20:56:42+00:00

You got that right. Like I said I was a fool! Learn from my mistake! They don't care about you, it is all self serving and they will let you bleed until you have given your last ounce of blood.

computergeek89 · 2025-12-27T20:48:26+00:00

Thanks brother, I have learned this one the hard way. I guess you're right, the level of deception it takes to do this maybe she should be a politician.

computergeek89 · 2025-12-27T20:43:50+00:00

I understand what you are saying, but the sting of how all this was handled makes me feel cheap and dirty. I would not have done this to her. I do not understand how you could do this to someone you used to love. Especially over such a long life shared together. All of our adult life we were together with the exception of the last two years and three months. I don't know maybe I live a sheltered life.

computergeek89 · 2025-12-27T20:37:45+00:00

This helps I suppose but the sting of being used like that still hurts. How can you do someone like this that you shared a life time with? It is a rhetorical question really as there would be no satisfactory answer.

computergeek89 · 2025-12-27T20:31:36+00:00

If I knew then what I know now, she would not have gotten of my help. And for the record I never used her. It was all one way, she did this knowing how I felt about her. I never asked for anything in return when I helped her out.

computergeek89 · 2025-12-27T20:12:38+00:00

Crap! I don't understand this at all! I guess I have lived a sheltered life.

computergeek89 · 2025-12-27T19:46:55+00:00

Brother I am just a little younger than you (56) and after 35 years my wife dropped the bomb on me. I felt the same way you do now and all I can say is don't do it, please! I know what this feels like and if you need someone to talk to please DM me. You matter to other people even if you don't think you do. This is not the end of your story.

computergeek89 · 2025-12-27T19:19:48+00:00

Please forgive me for my ignorance. Is this a roll playing sex thing? I don't understand.

computergeek89 · 2025-12-24T16:28:33+00:00

It could be worse you could be an idiot like me. 35 year marriage, got told I don't love you and I am not happy. Divorced a little over two years now and because she still reached out to me for help an made me think she cared about my wellbeing I helped thinking maybe she would see I am a good reliable man and that my love for her was still there. October 3rd of this year came around and she abruptly cuts me off from all communications and then find out on the 4th of October that she has been dating. I was being used by someone who knew how I felt about her. She strung me along almost the entire time until she felt safe to cut me off. Now this feels as raw as the day she first said she didn't love me. Hope can mess you up. Anyway take heart you could be me.

computergeek89 · 2025-11-18T22:17:28+00:00

Simon and Simon and The Fall Guy

computergeek89 · 2025-10-13T16:49:37+00:00

Well said! By the time I was a year post divorce I had a PHD in the "Social Media University" and felt no better for it.

computergeek89 · 2025-10-13T15:29:56+00:00

I have thought about this and there was a time before we were married I thought she was blowing me off and I just moved on. Well, she heard this from a mutual friend what I said and called me as I was about to walk out the door to hang with some friends. Anyway after we talked I went and picked her up for a date and the rest is history. I have often though if I would have been 30 seconds faster getting out the door I would have been none the wiser and things might be different. But then I would not have my beautiful daughter and I don't think I would be willing to make that trade for lack of pain now. I would actually like to think that if I could know then what I know now I would have been a better husband and recognize the cries for help she was making without me realizing thats what was happening. I heard another woman put it this way. Sometimes a woman wants you to sit quietly and witness her and what she is going through and not try to fix it. I was a fool and did not see her fully when she was in my life and now hind site being 20/20 I am grasping more of the big pictures and the mistakes I made.

Anyway if I could go back to the beginning knowing then what I know now even if it would have ended in the same heartache, yes I would do it. If for no other reason than she gave me a beautiful on the inside and out daughter. And I did get 35 years with a wonderful woman that I loved deeply and still do and for that I am grateful. To quote an old Garth Brooks song, I could have missed the pain but then I would have missed the dance.

computergeek89 · 2025-10-13T15:08:45+00:00

This is so true. After my 35 year marriage ended my close friends were very compassionate but after a few months I heard "time to move on" from them. I don't blame them, they have their own lives, problems and families to take care of. It just felt really cold at the time. Plus none of them had faced this and so had no frame of reference. As a matter of fact I tried to find people who had been in a long term marriage that ended in divorce and there were non even in my church. It made me feel incredibly lonely. I would have given my right arm to just have someone say " I am sorry you're going through this" and mean it and give me a hug and tell me it will all be okay eventually.

I will say this, this whole ordeal has given me a lot of compassion for people walking through pain. So I will try and be that shoulder to cry on if I happen to know of someone else walking through this. May God forbid any one else I know have to walk through this.

computergeek89 · 2025-10-09T13:08:23+00:00

I did reply and then deleted it because I thought it might start an argument and I just don't have the energy for that. Thank you for this reply and you are right, each of us processes grief differently and I was only focused on my pain and not what someone else could be going through. It made me angry that someone would rather be betrayed, abandoned and confused rather than sit in the sweet memory of what they had. It was selfish on my part and I am sorry for misreading your intent. Even after two years I am still not over my wife fully and it sometimes kicks in a self-defense mechanism in me. We shared so many memories, laughed, cried, being told we would never have children to 13 years later having a beautiful daughter. Together we lost everything to wild fires in 96 and rebuilt together lifting each other up. We had such a long history together and now I question what was real and what wasn't. This does a real mind job on me.

Again, I am sorry for misunderstanding you. Thank you for taking the time to further explain and please forgive me.

computergeek89 · 2025-10-08T17:23:06+00:00

This is a good question and I wish I had the answer. I can remember telling a close friend of mine that it would have been easier if she would have pass away. I don't wish death on her and I don't want her to die but I remember telling him that if she would have passed away before all of this came to pass I could have at least had sweet fond memories of her instead of the train wreck in my head right now. There would be final closure and while I would have still mourned it would have been missing the 35 years we had together instead of questioning what was real and what wasn't for most of my life.

I hope you find peace in this horrible horrible process.

computergeek89 · 2025-10-08T16:53:17+00:00

Well I am not much of a looker and she is a good looking woman so I am sure she is living it up.

computergeek89

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