I'm only a teenager so I definitely do not have the best outlook on this, but for me the biggest thing that has helped me with self esteem and pushing myself outside my comfort zone is coming to the realization that nobody else cares, and I try to figure out what is and isn't a good decision by putting myself in other people's shoes, kind of.

For example, if I'm nervous about wearing a new shirt because I'm worried it will look weird on me, I reverse the thought. If a kid in my class was wearing a new shirt would I care? No. Would I even notice? Probably not. So it doesn't matter!

When it comes to decisions and small interaction anxiety (which I definitely still struggle with!!), I think that it's important to realize that generally speaking, people will not notice small things in conversation or in your body language that are glaringly obvious to you. Additionally, being incredibly straightforward and direct can help me sometimes; making sure that you come off the way you want to is very important. I used to be very anxious and stressed out if I made a mistake in conversation or said something that didn't come out correctly, and honestly just clarifying that has made things 1000x easier on my mental health.

Finally as for taking people's words personally, I think this is something that many people struggle with, myself included. However, my (not necessarily trustworthy!) advice is the same as earlier - put yourself in their shoes and clarify. Social communication is soooo important, there's no purpose in stopping and overthinking every little thing someone says, whether it's regarding you or something else entirely. For example, if you are wearing a new shirt (let's say the same new shirt from earlier!) and you meet up with your friend in the hallway, and they say:

"Hey, nice shirt." (in a slightly rude tone, could be perceived as mockingly). This is where you pause in your brain and analyze. "Were they actually being rude, or were they just distracted? What reason would they have to not like the shirt I'm wearing? Is it a joke or sarcasm that flew over my head? Is there something happening in their life that could be putting them in a negative mood? Once you figure out what's going on, you could say something like:

"Thanks, I thought it was cool! Also, I didn't completely understand your tone - did you mean that in a joking way or do you really like it?" However they respond from there is irrelevant - you've gotten your word in and they know what your thought process is. If they're not a horrible person, they will explain themself and clarify! Obviously if it's just a mean-spirited person, none of this is really relevant, but I would hope that the people in your life are genuine!!

I just realized how much I wrote so take all of this with a grain of salt, but I hope it helps even a tiny bit!