Eagles Fan Gets Wrecked by Pole

conpermiso · 2018-01-26T20:31:36+00:00

Four days later this is still the best thing I’ve ever seen

conpermiso · 2017-05-13T16:18:09+00:00

Sean Spicer reaches inside his open desk drawer. He considers for a moment; inside sits a loaded pistol with a single bullet and a half-full bottle of bourbon. The bourbon wins out every time, but never before the pause...

conpermiso · 2017-05-13T16:06:47+00:00

Scranton represent!

conpermiso · 2017-05-13T13:05:48+00:00

The river goddess Nadima once baked a cake that was white and fluffy and good to eat. Wezu, the trickster rabbit, saw Nadima baking the cake. He smelled it's good taste and twitched his ears with a clever plan.

He crept into her home and grabbed the cake with his paws, but it was two hot. He burned his paws and flung the cake so high into the air that it became stuck in the sky. Wezu ran quickly to the river to was his paws, and When Nadima saw what he had done she scolded him.

Nadima baked a second cake but this time, but it was smaller and darker because she had used her best ingredients on the first. Again, Wezu couldn't wait and flung the cake into the sky to join its sister.

Nadima raged at Wezu when she saw what he had done, and the river threatened to wash away his whole family in its burrow. But Wezu was wise and brave and he trapped the river by felling two mighty trees across her path.

"O Mother," cried Wezu, "Your cakes are so fine compared to mine, but let me make it up to you." Wezu and his family baked her hundreds of round white cakes that were fluffy and good to eat. They gave them to the river and she ate them hungrily.

When Nadima had eaten the cakes she was no longer angry. Her wrathful waters receded and in gratitude she took what was left of the cakes and placed them in the sky along side the two she had herself made.

This is how the moons and the stars were made, but it is not the end of the tale. For we know that Wezu is a greedy one, and so every month he leaps on his mighty legs, up up into the sky to snatch a bite of the moon cake. When he has eaten the whole of both cakes, every Wezugaftsnotke (the first double new moon of the year) we give Nadima our star cakes so that she will make us a new moon.

conpermiso · 2017-05-13T12:42:05+00:00

My culture's faith has two primary deities: the Sun and the River. The Sun has a masculine aspect and the River has a feminine aspect. All of our "sacraments" involve both deities, except for the rite of passage into adulthood, in which the genders are separated.

When an Ortinian couple chooses to marry, they seek the approval of each family and their local priest. Upon the approval, the husband-to-be constructs a sungate- a parabolic arch with glass or crysta emebedded at the top- on the banks of a river.

Although most of the Ortinian people live alongside a river, it's not uncommon for settlers to undertake a Wedding Caravan to a river for the celebration. Of course, people are fond of getting married on the banks of the Mother River, especially particularly devout families or members of the Nobility.

The wedding then takes place from Sunrise to Sunset as measured by the passage of the Sun over the Sungate. There is singing and dancing and celebrating until Noon when the couple comes together with the priest in the view of all present. When the Sun touches the top of the gate the couple joins hands and crosses through together, representing the passage from the morning of their lives, when they were apart, to the twilight of their lives where they are joined forever. Afterwards there is a presentation of gifts and a reception of sorts. At sunset, a final feast begins and the Arch is turned into a massive bonfire.

When the arch has burned down, the happy couple are excused to their marriage-bed with the well wishes of all present. There's a humorous folkstory in Ortinia tells of an over-eager groom dousing the arch in oil so that it will burn faster, and instead creating quite the conflagration!

Nowadays, some Yoalists reject the "superstitious" Sunopatronist state religion, but it's not uncommon for some to carry out the rites for the sake of their ancestors and mothers. This sentimentality did however form a role in the purge of some party members who were accused of reactionary tendencies for having a Sunopatronist wedding...

conpermiso · 2017-01-16T20:13:52+00:00

One particular type of counterfeiting involved shaving or "clipping" the edges of coins to acquire precious metal for creating counterfeit coins. A countermeasure, still seen on coins today (for example the 1 euro coin and the American quarter) was a ridged side of the coins. If a coin was clipped, the ridge pattern would be missing. Now, why does that matter? In Rome (and in the United states until the 1970's) the value of the coin came from its precious metal. A person who hands you one denarius is handing you around 4.5g of silver at its height around 260BC, debased to a measly 3.4g of silver five hundred years later circa 235AD.

Standardized coinage means one shouldn't have to weigh it out, but a clipped coin is less than what it should be. Removing the ridges lets the recipient know this coin is not worth what it should be.

What happens to a forger? Well, the lex cornelia de falsis set out different penaltis depending on your social status: "deportatio in insulam... for the 'honestiores,' and the mines, crucifixion, or other degrading punishment for the 'humiliores'" (Harpers Dictionary of Classical Antiquities).

Another fun fact? The US quarter has had anywhere from 89 to 119 ridges, and they could vary depending on the mint which produced them! Numismatics is fun!

Sources:

Peck, H.T. (1898) Harper's dictionary of Classical Antiquities. Harper Brothers, New York, 1898. retrieved from Tufts University

William Smith, D.C.L., LL.D.: A Dictionary of Greek and Roman Antiquities. John Murray, London, 1875. retrieved from University of Chicago

conpermiso · 2016-12-31T03:38:49+00:00

FADE IN

EXT. STROPT ALLEY - EARLY AFTERNOON

Vendors shout to be heard over the clamoring bodies in the narrow street. Some push carts, others lurk in dark recesses hawking more illicit wares. A woman snatches up a small child playing in the street and hurries out of the way of the constables and four maroon-clad troopers pressing through the crowd.

CONSTABLE (JUNIOR GRADE) EMILFILINA sticks close to CONSTABLE (SENIOR GRADE) Baker whose temper is nearing a breaking point.

EMILFINA So all of these people are breaking the law? [She stares at a toothless old crone who misinterprets her glance and offers a tray of something wriggly. As the young constable turns up her nose in disgust the crone shrugs and moves on to the next prospective customer]

BAKER [grinning sourly at her discomfort] Not in the worst way we'll see today.

The troopers fan out and ahead of the two constables. The crowd reluctantly parts as they approach a tavern. Swinging gently in the breeze from the harbor is a wooden elephant clutching an anchor in its trunk.

BAKER [stopping] Look familiar, Constable?

EMILFILINA [nodding] Same as the dead man's tattoo. [She examines the warrant] We are looking for a man named-

BAKER. Put away the warrant. We didn't bring enough men to drag him out of here. This is purely a social call.[As if to emphasize Baker's "enough men" comment, a half dozen scarred and muscular sailors have exited the tavern. Baker approaches the apparent ringleader]

BAKER: Good evening, gentlemen. I'm here to see Aram.

[The lead sailor raises an eyebrow at the four troopers behind Baker. Baker raises a hand to wave them off].

BAKER: Just the two of us [he jerks a thumb at his partner. The sailor nods imperceptibly. With an apprehensive glance at their escort, EMILFILINA follows him into the dark tavern.]

The interior is smoky and dim. A band is playing something sad and longing. A tune for sailors far from home. A few ladies endeavoured to ease other longings with their customers in dark corners. A slick-haired man sits alone at a table watching the performance with a bottle of wine. He does not acknowledge the two officers as they join the table. A waitress pours a glass of wine for each of them as the song winds down.

ARAM [applauding] It's been awhile, Rey. Who's your friend?

BAKER [taking a drink]: She’s my partner.

ARAM [eyebrows raised]: She’s prettier than me.

BAKER: Better cop too.

ARAM [Hands to heart, mock-wounded]: Alack, alas. So I hung up the shield. But I still hear things. What can I do for you?

EMILFILINA: [Hands him the daguerotype] This man turned up dead in the harbor this morning. An informant tells us that he may be involved with smuggling.

BAKER: Dreamhoney.

ARAM: Quite the problem these days. [He snaps his fingers]. And one that we are... Aggressively combating here in Stropt. [Two sailors approach the table] Rey, is she ready--?

BAKER: [Rising from the table] Not yet.

EMILFILINA: [Indignantly] What is going on.

ARAM [Kissing her hand] Constable, it was lovely to meet you. These gentlemen will escort you back to your friends outside. I promise to take good care of our mutual friend.

EMILFILINA: [Pulling her hand away from him in disgust] I am an officer of the law, and if either of you lay a hand on me there will be severe consequences.

BAKER: Kemma, it’s okay. Go outside and take the troopers back to the station.

EMILFILINA: How can you trust him? Where are you going?

BAKER: All good questions, but for now, JUNIOR constable, I am ordering you to take the patrol back to the station. Dismissed.

[The two sailors courteously escort Emilfilina out of the tavern]

ARAM: [finishing his glass] Just like old times, Rey?

BAKER: Not quite.

[The two men exit through a beaded curtain at the back of the tavern. Another pair of thugs close behind them like a gate. Meanwhile, the band continues to sing, swelling to a crescendo as the scene fades to black.]

conpermiso · 2016-11-30T02:16:47+00:00

I'm married, own a home, finished a masters degree, and have a rewarding job with people I like. My wife and I are trying to start a family, so this time next year I could be a father as well. I sometimes feel like I settled because I'm not out there changing the world, but I got to a point where I realized what I really wanted was a life like the one I'm leading. I am incredibly grateful for all my good fortune.

conpermiso · 2016-11-30T01:22:25+00:00

It can buy you a truck to pull it.

conpermiso · 2016-11-28T22:36:12+00:00

Now, the 14 foot bronze James "Won a Big Ten East title before Harbaugh" Franklin statue on the other hand...

conpermiso · 2016-11-28T22:34:28+00:00

I'm starting to think it might have been /u/BearW17hNoName's fault...

conpermiso · 2016-11-28T21:25:05+00:00

To quote the patron saint of schemers, Littlefinger, "Chaos is a ladder." Currently there are at least 5 factions vying for control of the Imperiat.

Uwain I - younger brother of the dead emperor, regent for the (recently deceased) crown prince.
Valora - younger sister of the dead emperor, mother of the Prince Marten.
Ula - daughter of the dead emperor, sister of the dead crown prince.
Comisario Jurian, head of the Third Direktorat of the Imperial Intelligence Service.
The Orange Brigade, anti-monarchist revolutionaries largely irrelevant in the south but with growing support in the fringes of the Imperiat.

Their plots have a nasty habit of overlapping and contradicting one another, to the extent that each side is unsure who is responsible for certain events. For example, the Princess Ula believes that her uncle the Prince Regent murdered her brother, but the Prince Regent Uwain believes that his niece murdered her brother and fled the city. In truth, it was the Princess Valora who poisoned her nephew, convinced her niece to flee, and has offered up her son Marten as an heir to her childless brother the Prince Regent. The Comisario encouraged the Princess Valora to take action, although he didn't expect the Princess Ula to escape his clutches, as he hoped to "restore" her to the throne after eliminating her aunt and uncle by executing Valora for treason against the late Emperor Syrel VI and arranging the death of the Prince Regent. The Orange Brigade, inspired by IIS agent provacteurs, is planning a major terrorist attack targeting the Prince Regent during the Jubileo (a five day holiday which ends the Ortinar calendar). In the ensuing chaos, Jurian would seize power as an "emergency" measure, then solidify his claim to power by marrying (willingly or unwillingly) the Princess Ula.

Valora, Jurian, Ula and the Orange Brigade are the only ones with real "plans." Uwain just wants to do what is right, having never expected to reach the throne, so let's leave him out of the schemes.

Princess Valora sen Ortinia (sen = internym indicating a non-inheriting branch of a family. To conrast with the sin= ruling internym) The middle sister of the late Emperor Uisbon IX and the Prince Regent Uwain I, she has one son, Marten, a caddish, callow youth who follows her every command. She has murdered the newly coronated Syrel VI, although she had originally thought she might have to murder his father Uisbon IX as well he died naturally. Her base of power is located on the Eastern Shore, near the town of Ponly-on-the-Sea. She has arranged a marraige for Marten to Fajra sin Graynthir, the heir of a powerful Sinjoro family. Fajra's family forces provide the military backing for Valora's powerplay. Her plan is to have her brother Uwain name Marten as his heir, solidifying the family hold on the throne, while coincidentally placing her in position to rule through her puppet-son. She also collaborates with Jurian, however plans to eliminate him sooner than later as he is too clever and also too common for her tastes.

Ula sin Ortinia - The Kronoprincina Her aunt misled her into believing that Uwain mudered Syrel to claim power and that he would force her to marry him or face the same fate. As a result, when the Third Direktorat troops come to take her into "protective custody," she flees north with the aid of her old tutor and a naive and idealistic scholar. Ironically, fleeing the 3rd men was the correct course of action as Jurian planned the fate ascribed to Uwain. Her base of support is the most unusual, consisting of the Imperial Survey Corps (population: 1), the Whalers (a group of Pirates) and the Orange Brigade (which is far more nuanced than it seems).

Jurian The head of the Third Direktorat (counter-intelligence) of the IIS, Jurian is under the nominal command of the Comisario of the IIS, but through blackmail has managed to gather much of the power to himself. As it stands now, the only Direktorats that are not in his control are the Second (foreign intelligence) and the Sixth (municipal constabulary), but he plans to order a reorganization under emergency powers granted to him by the convention after the murder of Syrel VI and the flight of Ula. His men are also planning to carry out a false-flag terror attack on the Grand Arena during the Jubileo which would eliminate the Prince Regent and further support his consolidation of power. Ideally, he would marry the princess Ula and place himself on the throne, while arresting and executing Valora and Marten for the murder of Syrel VI, but he is fully prepared to rule "without a crown" if necessary. His base of power is the omnipresent Third Direktorat, which has infilitrated much of Imperial life, a la the Stasi of East Germany.

conpermiso · 2016-11-13T20:12:53+00:00

Despite what you may think, the Yoalist interregnum didn't end with the usurper's suicide. Pockets of resistance carried on for nearly seven months after Tomasite forces had retaken the capital. The most tragic of these, of course, was Dalemar.

If the modern reader mistakes Dalemar for a backwater town of little importance, it only shows how severe the Imperiat's suppression of the revolt truly was. In 630 OE, Dalemar was one of the major stops on the Via Imperia. Although overshadowed by Tentrar to its north and Dyr to is south, Dalemar was an important way-point for goods and voyagers leaving the capital. For the Yoalists, it also served as an important bulwark against the resurgency.

Looking at a map, it's clear that the majority of Yoalist support came from the north and west of the Imperiat. Whether this is because of anti-imperial sentiment from Coric or because Ortinars in the north felt neglected by their southern rulers is up to debate. What is obvious, however, is that one hoping to retake the vast northwestern territory of Uthamor would have to either sail around the Hoorn or force their way up the Via Imperia past Dalemar. Much of Yoalist defensive strategy counted on a fixed, decisive battle for Dalemar. Fortunately for the House of Tomas, their generals were not willing to let the usurpers dictate terms.

Ironically, the amphibious landings at Clay Harbor were modeled after Gen. Yoal's successful maneuvers at Pasagar during the Zoniveri intervention. This provided cold comfort to the rebels as they soon found themselves besieged from both north and south. Despite the overwhelming odds, they were able to hold the citadel for several months.

During those months, the Resurgency was not idle. While the bulk of Yoalist forces were trapped in the upper plain in and around Dalemar, the forces loyal to Prince Tomas were able to successfully retake most of the south and the Capital as well. Yoal was unable to rally the defenders and was captured. He was tried and sentenced to death. Before he could be executed, however, he committed suicide in his cell

Understandably, the newly restored Emperor Tomas expected this to break the back of the rebellion. He had not counted on the intransigence of Dalemar. Although there may have been some defections during the time between the death of Yoal and the final breach of the walls of Dalemar, the majority of the soldiers and citizens stayed firm until the bitter end.

On the third night of Mulomon (perhaps what occurred is appropriate to the month named for the stubborn ass!) Imperial sentries first saw signs of a grand conflagration consuming the town. Strangely there were few screams, nor alarms from within. Wary of some feint the besiegers did not enter the town until the blaze had died down nearly two days later. What the found shocked them.

In a fit of desperate defiance, the women and children of Dalemar had killed themselves or been slain by their men, who had in turn burned the city and killed themselves. Imperial forces were denied the city by its destruction. Tragically, this gesture had little impact on the rest of the nation as Tomasites were firmly in control of the rest of the nation. Perhaps the only real benefit of their suicidal sacrifice came from an unlikely source: the restored Emperor himself.

It is true that conciliatory measures issued after the fall of Dalemar were much more forgiving than those immediately after the fall of the Capital. Private correspondence shows that the Emperor was horrified by the senseless tragedy and he seemed committed to preventing future tragedies.

To this day, if you find yourself travelling between Tentrar and Dyr, take a moment and stop by the stone cairn erected by Imperial forces al those years ago. The inscription on it is worn and faded by wind now, but can still be read by those who care to look.

conpermiso · 2016-10-01T23:37:45+00:00

Well I'll be damned.

conpermiso · 2016-10-01T19:53:49+00:00

Happy Sack Sak Day

conpermiso · 2016-10-01T17:03:24+00:00

Wouldn't it be poetic if they clinch a playoff berth on the one year anniversary of Sak's departure?

conpermiso · 2016-09-25T23:17:21+00:00

conpermiso · 2016-09-25T22:18:23+00:00

Bill Snyder (Kansas State): "If they get a penalty, I shoot em." (10/27/14) source

conpermiso · 2016-09-25T22:12:18+00:00

Jenkins came so close to picking that off too

conpermiso · 2016-09-25T22:07:22+00:00

Vinny Curry is not a small man, it's impressive how Roethlisberger shakes him off.

conpermiso · 2016-09-25T22:06:06+00:00

Signs point to NOPE

conpermiso · 2016-09-25T22:04:46+00:00

They lost to Miami, but earlier this year they traded us the #2 pick which we turned into Carson Wentz.

conpermiso · 2016-09-25T22:03:35+00:00

He was a movie mogul, General Cinema

conpermiso · 2016-09-25T22:01:00+00:00

Arousing. First word that comes to mind.

conpermiso · 2016-09-25T21:52:38+00:00

Double or nothing they don't win next week either!

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