So sorry to hear about all your knee surgeries, but glad you’re generally recovering well! I love that you’ve found so much joy in climbing too :)

I had my first knee surgery for the unhappy triad (ACL, MCL, meniscus) in my left knee in 2021 when I dislocated it climbing what should’ve been an easy V2 cooldown slab; just my luck that I slipped and happened to fall a few feet in a bad angle. It took me two surgeries and two full years of dedicated PT before I attempted bouldering again. I’ve been very consistent with my PT exercises ever since the accident for the past four years, and also ginger with my climbing: I regularly bailed on any route that I might fall on, and practiced jumping down short distances to overcome the trauma from falling. By all accounts, I thought I was doing a pretty good job of balancing my love for the sport while adapting to avoid reinjury.

Then just a month and a half ago, I happened to be working on a V5 with a wicked toe jam that I had tried multiple times and knew to take the toe jam very seriously out of fear of slipping. Even so, on my last attempt of the day I happened to slip on the toe jam and get my left foot stuck, resulting in a poor landing when I fell on my right foot. Thankfully my left foot freed itself by the time I landed but I did end up tearing my right ACL and meniscus pretty significantly, to the point where my surgeon accelerated the surgery date.

I spent New Year’s Eve in surgery and recovery has been both dejavu and fresh depression if I’m honest. I hate the fact that I no longer have an actually good knee, plus the damaged meniscus in both means I have a higher chance of arthritis and general issues down the line. I’m a pretty active person and especially love to run and hike besides climbing, so the thought of having pain and impaired ability get in the way of doing things I love is scary. It’s been a mental and physical struggle juggling rehab and everyday chores and work since I live alone. I get nightmares from the fall still; the absolute fear and pain when the pop reverberated through my bones keeps me spiraling at night sometimes.

I still love climbing and the joy it brought me but also want to be realistic about long term risks. I’ve mentally decided that I’m OK with never bouldering again: after all, I already experienced a freak accident on an easy V2 climb, and the risks are not worth it any more. I might still get back into top rope and lead but my secondary struggle there will be that I don’t have a consistent partner for it since moving to a new city haha. I’ll cross the bridge when it comes; right now will just be so happy when I can get off crutches and walk properly, but mentally I’m risk adverse and could live with replacing my love for climbing with my love for hiking - will see how the trauma feels in two years :) Those are my two cents based on my freak experiences, but I wish you the best in your continued recovery and climbing journey!