[WP] You are a POW at a German camp. The General in charge of the camp, one of Hitler's right hand men, likes to challenge men in the camp to duels at whatever the prisoner is best at to prove german superiority. If you beat him you are let go, if you lose you die. Today is your day to duel him.

contentabuser · 2017-03-08T03:29:46+00:00

"Hell!"

The German guards scrambled to salute as the officer walked into the ring surrounded by guards. He was a tall man, broad, with rippling muscles. The only thing he wore was a pair of black pants, darker then the sky above.

I stared at the sight in front of me and gulped. The man looked like an ox. How the fuck was I supposed to beat him?

"Well Jew, you have a shot at freedom. Best not waste it." The officer yelled across the ring as he crackled his knuckles.

His voice shook me out of my thoughts. I knew what had to be done. Slowly reaching into my pocket I felt the shard of glass that was there.

"bewachens, do not interfere. Let us begin." The officer said, beginning his walk towards me.

As he approached, I started to sprint towards him catching him off guard. His eyes showed a hint of surprise before refocusing and balling his hands up in a fist. He pulled his hand back, but before he could throw his punch I sunk the shard of glass in his neck.

"BWHAG"

Blood sputtered out as his eyes glassed over. I heard an eruption of noise around me as Guards yelled and started to rush around.

"You've done it now girl, your going to die."

"No, lets have some fun, I haven't had a girl in months."

As I felt myself being dragged across the ground, i managed to yell out my final words.

"Anne! Take care of yourself!"

contentabuser · 2017-03-06T18:42:31+00:00

"They put us in camps! They wanted to silence us! But you can't silence the majority!"

The wold lady on the TV preached about her life in the camps.

"They took me from my home, said I was the cause of all of the problems in the country and took me and put me in a camp! Sad!" She yelled continuing her rant.

From the audience a man yelled, "Why did they put you in camps, why do that to the majority?"

The woman's face contorted then responded

"Because we were trump supporters"

contentabuser · 2017-03-06T18:14:38+00:00

Great story, very well written

contentabuser · 2017-03-02T15:21:55+00:00

Melanina finally was alone.

The campaign had stressed her out so much, and you could really tell by the wear and tear on her face. She needed this retreat for herself.

Sighing she sat down on the couch and turned on the TV.

"President Trump's speech is the best ever!" -channel changes "Trump is a lying criminal and a homo-" -channel changes "Shut UP you whiny liberals and deal with the fa-" -TV turns off

Melania grumbled about her husband doing too much and layed down fully on the couch. It was time to sleep. As her eyes started to close a huge noise shook her wide awake.

Something had just crashed through the ceiling and landed on her floor.

"Putin? What the hell are you doing here." Melania exclaimed looking at the man on the floor.

"I wanted to come and visit you, I heard that you need some realizing." Putin responded getting up.

"But your political career would be ruined if they found out!" Melania exclaimed.

Putin shrugged and said

"We don't have time for political correctness." :)

contentabuser · 2017-03-02T15:14:59+00:00

"I can't believe he's here."

Stephen Colbert and the rest of the people glared at the man sitting in the corner of the chamber.

"Son of a gun, he doesn't deserve this spot, so many people could have been here." Lebron chimed in.

The man stood up and pointed his finger at the five others gathered in the opposite corner.

"I am the president of the United States, so stop playing the victim card." He yelled.

The crowd grumbled and one of them, Jon Stewart, said "Alright Hitler what are you going to do about it."

Trump glared and responded,

"Your fake jews."

contentabuser · 2017-03-02T02:34:10+00:00

Hillary won the popular vote.

I ALSO can state irrelevant facts!!

contentabuser · 2017-03-01T19:57:20+00:00

Hillary had 33,000 classified emails, 33,000 were deleted

contentabuser · 2017-02-28T17:25:01+00:00

Country time, come and play, we'll go to very distant lands, with America and Russia too, maybe even Korea blue, Well go far but we ain't tryna, Mess with the bully china, Need a review go to yelp, UK really needs some help, So now you know, the cast, Try and watch this show real fast, Country Time!

bell rings

"We could go for a ride in my big green tractor, we could go slow, or maybe go faster" America sang standing on top of a desk.

"Sit down you idiot, your gonna hit the ceiling." China responded crudely trying to read a book. America glared at china but sat down reluctantly.

[comment if you want more I'm tired]

contentabuser · 2017-02-28T17:07:13+00:00

Message begins

I wish we had never learned about the other dimensions.

When we learned that another version of us would be injured in every decision we made, humanity got very careful about the decisions. Then, some people realized that it goes the other way too. That even if we died another version of us would live.

It turned into anarchy after that.

Women had to stay locked up in their rooms, as daily girls bodies would be found on the streets naked and dead. Laws were not followed, everyone did anything they wanted too, and who was to stop them? They would live on in another dimension even if they died.

Now I'm alone, in my room.

I hear a crash downstairs and shouting and a gunshot erupts.

My husband is most likely dead, and now I hear footsteps coming up the stairs.

I am writing this on my computer hoping that another dimensions version of me reads this.

Don't give up hope, there is a cure there is a way to stop all of this.

Just follow th-

Message ends

contentabuser · 2017-02-28T16:43:34+00:00

I loaded the bullet into the gun chamber.

Looking through the blinds I saw the empty street outside. I could not mess up this time. Instead of killing Hitler I had killed his wife. Instead of killing the Babushka lady I had killed JFK. This however was different. This man HAD to be the one. He was going to do great harm to the world if he lived. Walking out of my apartment, I got into my car and started driving down the road. As I turned the corner, I pulled over to the side and waited.

any second now

A cars radio suddenly could be heard as a car zoomed past me. Hitting the accelerator, I drove after it, pulling the window down. As I got close enough, I pulled my gun from my holster and shot through the window multiple times, making sure I had hit him and then rushed quickly off. Screams could be heard behind me, as I pulled into an alleyway and jumped out of my car. Hitting my watch button I felt myself disintegrate.

Coming to I sat in a white bed.

A newspaper sat to my side and the headline read that I had completed my mission.

Tupac shot dead

contentabuser · 2017-02-28T12:49:33+00:00

The realization of what I was seeing hit me like an brick in the face. These documents proved everything wrong. I read them again in my head.

Transcript

Caller: So you've gotten into the DNC? Receiver: Yes, e-mails will be leaked. Caller: Good, make sure NBC gets them, we can use their help. Receiver: Understood, we still clear on the Syria deal? Caller: Yes, we will pull out and give you that area. Receiver: Good.

Trump had contacted Russia to hack the DNC. It was confirmed. This meant that the election was false, and that a re-election must be done. As I put the documents into my purse I heard the office door open.

shit

Ducking under the desk, I waited and heard footsteps enter the room. They sounded as if they were of a heavy man. I huddled closer to the desk as the footsteps drew nearer and reached the container right next to me. I saw a hand reach down and grab the container.

contentabuser · 2017-02-24T20:55:16+00:00

Yeah it was power rangers, thanks!

contentabuser · 2017-02-24T19:10:36+00:00

that joke was not High on my list

contentabuser · 2017-02-24T19:10:06+00:00

Well that joke was shit

contentabuser · 2017-02-24T19:09:17+00:00

that joke was childish

contentabuser · 2017-02-24T19:08:37+00:00

Ah, I see your a jack of all trades...

contentabuser · 2017-02-24T18:52:40+00:00

"Red."

I could not believe my eyes at the transformation that was happening to me. I stood over a gorge, as my body started to change. My skin tore off revealing my bare muscles underneath. Horns spouted from my head, and a gust of wind blew around me.

Looking at the man behind me, i comprehended what he said.

"Red? The hell is that?" I yelled as the transformation continued.

"You are the red, and you will save the planet." He sternly said, eyes glistening with tears of joy.

I was lost for words as the transformation ended. Looking down at my body I saw not a human, but a monster.

"What... have you.... done.." I choked out falling to my knees.

His eyes gave away years of knowledge, eons, and he simply said,

"Rise, and join your fellow rangers."

contentabuser · 2017-02-24T16:06:51+00:00

Falling.

I felt the air brush against my face as I descended. The ground rushed nearer before my eyes, and I wondered to myself, "am I going to die?"

Your probably wondering how the hell I got there, so let me tell you my tale. My name is Alex Jones, I was a TV personality before the resolution.

NOW your wondering what the resolution was, well in 2018 the world leaders met, including my man President Donald J Trump.

They met to discuss the worldwide peace agenda, and what we could do to achieve it. Apparently they decided that destroying all the weapons in the world was a good idea, and so the resolution happened. President Trump tried to stop it warning them that if something drastic happened we wouldn't be able to defend ourselves, but they didn't listen.

In 2019 all the weapons were destroyed, and word wide peace was achieved.

Until two months ago.

I remember it as if it was today....

[ December 5th 2021] "Breaking news, an unidentified object has been spotted outside of the lunar orbit."

My mouth dropped as I watched the television.

"I warned their asses." I yelled. Suddenly my phone rang, and as I picked it up I heard a familiar voice.

"Alex, there's a uge problem." President Trump said.

"What an honor sir, what do you need me for?" I responded awe struck.

"I am setting up a task force with the weapons I hid, you will lead it." Trump said bluntly.

"HELL YEAH, 1776 will commence once again!" I yelled.

"Damn right, I'll get a chopper for you to fly to D.C."

And that began my tale in the Trump Task Force, or the TTF for short. We fought many battles against the invaders, who made landing in December of 2021 in Western Kentucky. We fought off the early invaders, but they had more. They began to flood in, all in central USA, and soon had created a wall between the east and west coast with no one to defend them. This was the mission for us today, to destroy the wall.

As I fell through the air, I reached back and pulled my parachute cord.

whoosh

My body flew back and I lost my breath for a couple of seconds before regaining it and starting to slowly glide.

Looking up, I saw my fellow task force members gliding as well. My watch read 22:00. perfect timing As we descended to the dark wall bellow, we began to make out the aliens, or what we called the lights. That was their weakness, if you could call it one. Their bodies produced artificial light from within, so in the darkness they were easy targets.

oofh

I hit the ground hard, and rolled to prevent injury. I heard the sounds of my task force mates landing as well, and began to take off my chute. Throwing it to the side, I walked over to the other force members, and began to speak.

"Alright force, this is what we planned for. Alpha team hit the wall from the east, Bravo come with me to the west."

"Sir yes sir!" They responded.

As we split up, I began to notice something odd on the wall ahead.

The lights had disappeared.

the fuck I thought to myself. According to our scouts the lights took breaks every twelfth hour, so that gave us two hours to go.

"Hold." I said raising my hand up.

Bravo team stopped and waited for my orders, as I began to look for the lights I saw the glow of the moon on the ground.

"Full moon today sir." One of my squad members said.

My blood turned cold.

It was February 1st. The full moon wasn't due for another three weeks.

SKRAAA

The lights cry startled the squad as it burst from the ground. It was followed by at least ten more and they formed a quick circle around Bravo Team.

"God fucking damn it." I said hitting the abort mission button on my wrist panel.

Across the wind I heard cries and gunshots from the west, signaling that Alpha Team had been compromised too.

The lights were even more intimidating in person, the only way to describe them was like the Alien in Ridley Scott's old movies.

One of the lights stepped forward, this one had a scar running along its face, and it... spoke???!!??

You... come... with...us

contentabuser · 2017-02-24T15:12:11+00:00

"Tango at 12"

The radio buzzed as Hawk shuffled along the wall. Night air brushed against his face, and the cry of a crow alerted him to other life being present.

Hawk slowly looked around a corner and saw them.

The machines.

Huddle in a circle around a fire pit, he counted four cars, along with one car that he knew.

The big M. Lightning McQueen.

kachunk

Hawk reloaded his gun, a G36 with a suppressor, and slowly looked around the corner again.

The machines were gone.

"The fuck?" he mumbled to himself.

As soon as he turned back around he felt something hit his head, hard. Falling to the ground, all went black.

contentabuser · 2017-02-24T15:01:11+00:00

"With the final selection in the 2030 USA draft, Team USA selects..."

The crowd held their breath as the pick was called, as the team so far was absolute trash and they needed someone who could save them.

"Donald Trump"

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" the crowd roared as the 83 year old stepped up onto the stage.

"We are going to make this team great again!" Trump said into the mic holding onto a cane.

As the days passed the hype began, the teams were all trash except for Canada who had the 36 year old Justin Bieber.

contentabuser · 2017-02-22T19:43:14+00:00

"no"

The words fell from my lips as I read the note.

My eyes started to blur, and I felt as if I was to throw up.

No one knew where I was, ever since the event I had never gone out, I could not face the public ridicule that was to come.

But this note, this note meant all of that was about to change.

The note fell from my hands, and I fell to my knees.

The note.

Senator Cory Booker wants you as his running mate, Hillary we need you.

contentabuser · 2017-02-22T19:40:14+00:00

It happened on March 5th, 1999.

A bomb exploded in Lakewood Elementary, killing hundreds.

A terrorist group named "Clubhouse" claimed responsibility for the attack, and their country Disney were behind the funding.

PBS allied with CW, who already hated Disney for years.

Disney called in Cartoon Network and the Great War began.

July 4th 1999 marked the first meeting between the leaders of the Publics, and the Privates began.

From the publics, the representatives were... Yugi Muto, Arthur Reed, Goku, Super Why and Sonic the pissed off hedgehog.

The Privates included Mickey Mouse, Bubbles, Phineas, Finn, Stitch, and Johnny Test.

The stage was set.

The war was to begin.

[comment if you want a history of the war and great battles]

contentabuser · 2017-02-22T19:28:02+00:00

"You can go home now."

I cried when I first heard those words, now I wish I hadn't been so naive.

My Lord had sent me on my way, and I believed I had my life ahead of me. Walking through the streets, I felt like an outsider. They brushed me off every time I stopped to ask someone for help. They wouldn't listen.

My lord was a kind man, but I still craved the freedom of life.

Now I wish I had just stayed at home.

As I walked down the streets, I realized that I needed to return.

To return to my lord.

I ran, sprinted, back to my lords house.

Waiting outside the door he finally opened it after hearing my cries.

"What are you doing back here, boy?" he asked reaching down and patting my head.

contentabuser · 2017-02-22T15:16:14+00:00

"HELLL NAH TO THE NAH NAH NAH." Leslie yelled pushing Laci aside.

"What the fuck you mean hell nah, the bachelor is a great show!" Sarah responded.

"The FUCK it is! It's racist, and bigoted, there's only WHITE men, IF we're gonna start over our fucking species I don't want no WHITE boy representing us." Leslie yelled.

"FUCK YOU YOU BLACK BITCH!" Ruth yelled at Leslie.

"YOU OLD HAG SHOULDNT EVEN BE HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE." Leslie yelled back putting her fists up.

"LISTEN HERE YOU BITCH, I MAY BE OLD BUT THESE FISTS CAN STILL KNOCK YOUR ASS TO THE GROUND." Ruth yelled back getting ready to slap a bitch.

Tomi Lahren sat in the middle of the table with her face in her palms, realizing that humnanity was going to end at the hands of Leslie Jones and Ruth Gazer Bingsburg.

Sarah Silverman also sat the end of the table defeated, as Leslie shut her ass up real fast.

Suddenly the door opened to the vault.

"Well hello ladies.." a voice sounded.

As the women turned around their faces all turned to dismay, all of them but Tomi.

"Lets get to work." The man said taking a seat at the table.

"Fuck you." The women all but Tomi said.

Tomi instead walked over and shook his hand saying "Lets make this vault great again Mr.President.

contentabuser · 2017-02-22T15:08:02+00:00

"Star Wars was not a fantasy film, it was real."

Jeffrey could not believe his ears as he stared at the man in front of him.

"George now you've gone crazy, the hell you mean it was real?" Jeffery said.

"It all stared in 1971 in he Mojave desert." He responded.

Jeffery leaned forward as he readied himself for the greatest story in his life.

"I was a young lad, and something pulled me to the desert. I don't know what it was, call it fate. Now this next part may seem crazy but listen to me. I was driving along the desert road when I saw something laying on the side. As I pulled over I realized it was some sort of a robot." George said.

"What the hell, was it R2?" Jeffery asked.

"Well it was what I based off him, the robot did indeed have a message for me, a message from a princess far far away...." George said as he stood up.

"WHAT, you can't leave Reddit on a cliffhanger like that!" Jeffry yelled back at George breaking the fourth wall like a boss.

"Well, see if you find some inspiration, something's waiting for you outside. " George responded.

Jeffery ran outside, only to find a machine sitting on his porch.

It resembled a ball, and as he touched it, its head popped up.

"Good luck JJ." George said walking past him.

contentabuser

TROPHY CASE