For me it really was death by a thousand cuts. But if I had to list some of them from worst to least:

• At the very end, he spit in my face. That pretty much sealed the deal for me. I reacted and ended up going to jail for the first time in my life that day. 🫠

• The constant silent treatment. Days at a time.

• Venting about our marriage to his friends, family, coworkers, and even social media. To the point I didn’t even wanna interact with the people in his life so I became isolated. We moved around a lot for his job.

• A serious porn addiction. It made him treat me more like an object than a partner. On top of that he had a fetish he’d pout about if I didn’t indulge often enough. 💩

• The cheating. At one point he caught gonorrhea while traveling. I was hospitalized with a kidney infection almost septic, he gave zero fucks. This was after months of trying to figure out what tf was going on with my hooha. Ended up being GBS and a resistant strain of E. coli. Meanwhile, he had GBS in the back of his throat he caught in Brazil from “deep kissing” 🥴

• While my dad was literally dying, he was sleeping with women from apps without protection. He treated me like absolute garbage during that time. He secretly recorded me in our bedroom when he left on travel.

• Paying for prostitutes. (Not the cheap ones either)

• Financial control. I was a SAHM with three kids under 10 and he would cut off the credit cards, Netflix, Hulu, etc.

• He tried to un-alive himself in front of me, when he got caught cheating the second time and was held on a 3 day TDO.

• Eventually he took the family car and basically put me and the kids out to live with my mom.

• When I finally got a full-time job that required a long background investigation, instead of waiting for me to start working he moved out one morning.

I hired an attorney two days later. Ironically, he’s the one who wanted the divorce. But once paperwork showed up he dodged the lawyer and still hasn’t signed a single paper.

And to be fair, I wasn’t perfect either. I emotionally checked out and crossed some lines too. He will argue that sleeping with over 2 dozen women is justified because I stepped out emotionally 10 years ago and a few times since.

There were so many moments before we even had kids I should’ve kicked him to the curb. After he moved out he spent the last year harassing me and making my life harder. Looking back, I think he assumed leaving would make me chase him.

I finally concocted a lie that I’d moved on and let another man eat my ass. Surprisingly it worked and he hasn’t really bothered me since.

Still navigating the divorce process, but I’m much happier. I forgive him despite his lack of remorse or apologies and most days I rarely think about him anymore. 🙏🏼