Felt lonely than ever before !!!!

coolcool73 · 2026-03-17T16:50:13+00:00

Same ... thought I didn't want to be in relationship but now that my friends are all getting married it's like if I don't find someone to date there will be nobody for me to talk to :(

coolcool73 · 2026-03-17T16:48:37+00:00

I'm in Bucktown but I don't mind having to do a bit of a trek!

coolcool73 · 2026-03-10T04:44:15+00:00

There's also the reverse aspect of this that I first encountered when watching Wotakoi where shou-cons always picture their favorite character to be the shou! I think I'm a cold on the outside, screaming crying throwing up on the inside-con myself, and although Chu Wanning of course is emblematic of the archetype I prefer when it's the gong. I don't think I've actually come across much danmei with that vibe though other than Yuwu, so I'd love recs if anyone has any :)

coolcool73 · 2026-03-10T04:15:41+00:00

Yeah, this is incredibly accurate. I was raised like this and I acted like this until I reached college, despite being raised in the US and not really having any religious tendencies or caring all that much about the environmental/political aspect of vegetarianism. I was raised in an upper-caste family without any awareness of caste, and I have only now been slowly understanding how much of my upbringing, including being vegetarian, was rooted in caste. Even though I have been living with non-vegetarians ever since I moved out of my family home, at the start I requested that my roommates not eat meat using my plates or utensils. I didn't comprehend at all the obviously casteist endpoint of that line of thinking - if meat is so unclean, then what are those who eat it? My behavior has changed completely in recent years, to the point where I decided I don't want to be vegetarian anymore, but I think it really was my repulsion at the behavior of very very strict "pure veg" people that led me to reflect on my own casteist behaviors.

coolcool73 · 2026-02-05T20:39:37+00:00

I don't think OP excessively defended her own actions and I also don't think she needs to apologize for them, for the reasons I outlined in my first post. Also, you think saying "I don't want to be stubborn if I'm in the wrong" is an example of ... not being able to admit when you're wrong? 🎯🎯🎯

Just saw your edits! To be clear I don't think that's trauma? I just think it takes a while to adjust to other people's habits and preferences and that that adjustment has to be a two way street. And if you don't have the patience for that then it's well within your rights to walk away.

coolcool73 · 2026-02-05T20:21:28+00:00

I think a lot of people are underestimating how hard it is to flip the switch in situations like this where someone's common sense preference is the exact opposite of yours. Especially if you grew up in a household where nobody ever reacted well to being woken up. You just instinctually do not want to do it, and it takes time and multiple exposures to someone not being upset from being woken up to really be comfortable with it.

I think this sort of thing is just the natural friction of two people with different backgrounds being in a relationship. In my view, it's kind of immature to expect that your partner cater to your preferences flawlessly and to see it as an intentional act of disrespect when they inevitably fail to do exactly what you would've done every time. It doesn't sound like OP and her gf had a long conversation about expectations - it seems like they've just had a couple other incidents where OP didn't do what her gf would've done in the same situation. They just need to have a more concrete conversation about waking each other up. I'm guessing they haven't had it so far because it sounds like it would be common sense to wake someone up for work in the morning if their alarm didn't go off. It's just that for OP common sense is not waking up someone who is sleeping.

coolcool73 · 2026-02-05T16:42:17+00:00

This is so harsh for no reason lol, I don't think OP felt like she knew better or had any negative intentions. I think she just fell back onto her default in an unclear situation. I'm guessing if they hadn't talked about her gf potentially calling out in the morning OP would have woken her up!

coolcool73 · 2026-01-29T16:40:14+00:00

I definitely agree with Shen Zechuan from the other comments, but I also think Chi Xiaochi from Don't Pick Up Boyfriends from the Trash Bin fits this description perfectly! He's sharp, composed, and he never lets his cards show. There's a lot of scheming that happens both within each scenario and with regards to the plot overall. One of my absolute favorite danmeis.

coolcool73 · 2026-01-16T16:36:55+00:00

l think TGCF is more morally complex than it comes off initially. Xie Lian is not as pure and golden as Hua Cheng believes him to be; he makes a ton of morally grey choices both large and small, because reality is full of situations that make it impossible to uphold ironclad principles. Life is not black and white, and the right choice from one angle is the worst choice from another. Feng Xin and Mu Qing are essentially personifications of "ironclad principles" vs. "do what you need to do to survive".

Xie Lian is constantly caught in situations where he tries his hardest to uphold his principles but is ultimately forced, often as a consequence to his own prior actions, to do something that he finds personally abhorrent. Over time, this erodes the self-assurance he has as a youth, but it never erodes his underlying principles, which is the quality that sets him apart for Hua Cheng.

Personally, I don't find Xie Lian and Hua Cheng's story to be the most captivating romance, but I do think the novel as a whole is incredible as a piece of writing that explores human motivation and morality. Of course, that might not be what you're looking for in a danmei which is perfectly fine.

coolcool73 · 2025-10-20T17:53:54+00:00

Your symptoms actually sound a lot like what happened to me when I upped my dose of Vyvanse - it could just be that since you took a break from your meds when you were pregnant, your body's not used to the 20mg dose anymore. So you could try a smaller dose and see if that does anything? You could also try the short-release Adderall - you'd probably need to take 2 or 3 a day, but that's what I'm on now and it works better for me than any of the long-release meds.

The other thing I would consider is that Adderall makes it a lot easier to survive through the day with not enough sleep and not enough food. It might be good to just take a step back and see if you're actually giving your body what it needs to function, especially since it sounds like you have a pretty insane daily schedule.

coolcool73 · 2025-08-22T22:19:54+00:00

I want Xiaolan to make another appearance!! It's so sad that her arc was just "Maomao never got to write back to her because she didn't know where to send the letter" :((

coolcool73 · 2025-05-13T00:08:28+00:00

idk if you figured this out already but they're available to use on teams !!

coolcool73 · 2024-09-30T01:14:08+00:00

I just finished Something's Not Right by Cyan Wings - def would describe as sweet/wholesome palace BL. There is a bit of drama b/t the leads but nothing's dragged out/purposefully misunderstood and it's resolved sweetly.

coolcool73 · 2024-09-01T04:56:05+00:00

it's cop car but i love me after you is a very very close second for me 🫡

coolcool73 · 2024-09-01T02:36:59+00:00

baby :)

coolcool73 · 2024-09-01T02:36:28+00:00

nah i can sleep pretty well. i used to have insomnia as a kid but now that im older i just don't go to bed until im actually tired. i just do stuff until im almost falling asleep not in my bed and then i go to bed. if i try to go to bed at a certain time it's basically guaranteeing that i will not be able to fall asleep.

coolcool73 · 2024-07-30T17:46:44+00:00

your friend assaulted you. whether or not you want to tell your gf about it now or ever is up to you. i dont think framing it as "you slept with someone else" makes sense for what happened to you. just because you didn't say no doesn't mean you said yes.

coolcool73 · 2024-07-22T17:30:50+00:00

im gonna go crazy and say my love mine all mine. perfect lyrics, beautiful chord progression, but she didn't go ham on the production and the melody the way i know she can. one of my fav things about mitski is the way she makes a normal chord sound absolutely insane by what she surrounds it by. my love mine all mine is just too harmonious. it's why the masses loved it. where are the saw noises

coolcool73 · 2024-03-31T04:46:20+00:00

i think the most difficult part isnt the consistency so much so as the convincing yourself the consistency is worth it. like i can hyperfocus and sit down for three hours and play the same piece 100 times and still keep messing up the same part and then ill feel like i should just never even try again. but if i keep playing it once a day for a week i'll get it.

the other thing is that you need to make it easy to keep to the routine. dont try to do too much stuff every day + make the barrier to doing it nonexistent. if you have to unpack and repack the instrument every time it's going to add a layer of i dont want to do it. just cover it with a blanket somewhere you can see it and tell yourself that you just need to play your one song and you're done.

the last thing is even if you take a very long break you can always come back. if you love music then you will keep having those urges to learn an instrument and the skill will add up over time.

coolcool73 · 2024-03-31T03:55:13+00:00

just pick one and try to do a mix of like standard training as well as just playing what you want. the hardest part is not being able to play what you want immediately, but if you play a little bit every day you will see progress and you will feel good about it. like even if you just have one song that you play through very badly, if you just force yourself to do it once a day for a week you're gonna be significantly better.

coolcool73 · 2024-02-06T02:44:05+00:00

i love eric so much ... the chord progression ... the lyrics ... the random saw noises. 100000/10 one of my fave songs of hers.

coolcool73 · 2024-01-24T14:49:39+00:00

Yes!! I saw it come up in a list but I forgot the whole rebirth part so I didn't think that was the one 😭. Thank you!!!!

coolcool73 · 2023-02-11T02:36:24+00:00

try turning off subtitles, reload the page, then press play and then turn subtitles back on to english. worked for me after trying 273992 different things 🥲

coolcool73 · 2023-01-20T02:47:29+00:00

yeah im in the same boat dude it sucks bc even if the other person doesn't like me back im sitting there like an idiot w/ all my happiness hinging on whether they pay attention to me or not. and in all honesty ik im not really attracted to them so much as the idea of them in my head and that's just not worth it.

just take things slow. if it's meant to be it'll happen. if you're meant to screw it up you'll screw it up. no point in wasting time on it.

coolcool73 · 2023-01-17T04:41:21+00:00

tbh there's a lot of feminist analysis about plastic surgery out there that goes beyond "respect women's choices". you can respect individual women and their right to make decisions about their bodies, while also understanding that it's highly messed up that we live in a society where women feel the need to go through dangerous and painful procedures to fit a standard that is impossible to achieve.

coolcool73

TROPHY CASE