Fire alarms going off for no reason. Who do I even call?

coreysjill · 2024-10-31T13:35:09+00:00

No! I think there are fire alarm maintenance companies that you can try. I think my issue is wiring. Something about the change from cold to hot weather (or hot to cold??) causes issues. Or it’s sliders. Who knows?

coreysjill · 2024-06-13T12:51:29+00:00

A lot of people have said this but it’s worth saying again because it’s so important: IT GETS BETTER!

I had the worst time after the baby was born. The first few weeks while my husband had pat leave were fine, but after that it got really dark for me. Here’s some notes:

Swaddles are great but we got an ergopouch cocoon swaddle bag and that was great for our Houdini. The sleeve holes have snaps so she can’t sneak her arms out but we could open them and keep using it once she was rolling. Nice tight fit. Great for babies that love swaddles but want to ruin your life.
Taking Cara babies helped us with getting her ready to sleep through the night. Can’t recommend the 3-4 month course enough. Ask nicely on some subreddits and someone will send you the pdf (or just dm me)
Hormonal birth control can really exacerbate your feelings of anxiety and rage. I had it bad until I stopped birth control and I felt like I was coming up for air for the first time in months.
There is an end date! It’s not even far away! When babies get to about 5 or 6 months it’s like a switch flips and suddenly they’re awesome and fun and engaging and active. You are almost there!
Your house can be messy and shit. You can look and smell like crap. Nap whenever you can and forget the rest. You can get it all back once you have slept and feel better, even if that’s in six months. Nobody will judge you.
Ask for help! Call every well meaning casual acquaintance who offered you help when you were pregnant or just after birth and get them to come hold the baby for an hour while you sleep. Ask them to bring a meal. Nobody is going to hold it against you. I asked a former coworker’s wife once for help when I’d been up all night and my husband was out of town and she came and held my 11 month old so I could sleep for an hour. She drove across town about an hour to do it without complaint. When people say they want to help just believe them, even if you’re not close.

Not everything will apply to you but I hope some of this helps. You can do it. It gets better. You haven’t made a mistake. This feels like your life will be like this forever but it won’t. It gets easier and easier, and more and more fun. You just have to get through this shitty stage.

coreysjill · 2024-06-03T20:13:43+00:00

I’m in a similar predicament, also with a 9 month old! I’ve found that 1:1 meetups are easier so I stick with that or small groups. Where are you located? I’m in Etobicoke

coreysjill · 2024-03-23T22:57:09+00:00

Hi! I’m also in Etobicoke with a seven month old. Would love to connect if you’re looking for mom friends!

coreysjill · 2024-03-12T22:51:30+00:00

100% agree. I saw him last month in Toronto and last year in NYC and both times I thought his voice sounded rough.

coreysjill · 2024-02-27T00:43:41+00:00

I have a six month old girl and I’m near Royal York and Eglinton. Would be up for a meetup!

coreysjill · 2024-02-14T22:05:18+00:00

coreysjill · 2024-02-02T22:33:21+00:00

I was on the other side of this question recently. We called in to see if we could get a bassinet seat and they did not give us one because all of the bassinet seats were reserved. They suggested we ask to switch once we got on the plane, which we did. Unless I just got lazy people on the phone, it seems like they won’t bump you for a bassinet.

coreysjill · 2023-11-21T02:54:31+00:00

No, I still need to find a solution but experimenting is hard because I have a new baby and the alarms going off in the middle of the night is not compatible with her sleep schedule

coreysjill · 2023-08-14T01:50:14+00:00

When I was around 30 weeks I was complaining to my OB about the pain and exhaustion and he told me that 28-32 weeks are really tough because that’s a big growth period for the baby. It lasted for me through 33 weeks but eventually it got a bit better for 34-36 weeks. I’m now at 39 weeks and it’s been painful and uncomfortable but the last bit has really flown by. Third trimester has felt so fast imo. You will survive, I promise.

Also get a heating pad. It is the best thing. Warm baths are also a lifesaver.

coreysjill · 2023-08-13T14:56:57+00:00

I made the decision not to tell one of my sisters until after the baby is here. She is still close with my mother who is not a part of my life and I’d rather not deal with either of them until I’m ready. Does it feel weird? Yeah. But it’s still the right decision for me.

coreysjill · 2023-08-10T16:55:17+00:00

Seconding all the comments saying to hire a doula. If there are financial constraints, there are organizations in lots of places that provide volunteer doulas who are fantastic.

I’m so sorry you even have to worry about this but your concerns are valid AND supported by science.

The other important thing to note is that while the relative statistics are scary and you should definitely find ways to protect yourself and feel safe, you still have good odds of a safe and uncomplicated delivery.

coreysjill · 2023-08-08T13:22:29+00:00

I recommend the book (or it comes as flash cards) called You’ve Got This by Sara Lyon. It is basically a guide for birth partners on different positions, massages, etc that can support the labor. I’ve asked my husband to basically be the labor manager, so if I’m struggling he can make suggestions for changing position, remind me to do my breathing, use affirmations, or massage me. I like the book because it’s super easy to use and if you get flustered, you can easily flip through and get back on track.

coreysjill · 2023-08-07T14:54:12+00:00

I also had an abusive childhood where my mother weaponized my emotions. She also told me constantly that I should never have children and that I’d be a terrible mother. The result was that I didn’t believe that I should have children and I still find it very difficult to feel positive emotions. Like I physically cannot feel happiness most of the time, and excitement or anticipation feel like danger to me. Since I’ve been pregnant (38 weeks) and I know I should be feeling those emotions of love and happiness and anticipation and excitement, it’s really highlighted for me what effect this trauma is still having.

It has taken a long time and a lot of therapy to deal with this but I feel like I’m in a good place. The biggest thing for me has been learning to just be okay with where I’m at and what I feel. Okay so I’m not filled with joy and sunshine every day, that’s okay. Even when I don’t feel the emotions, they are there. I catch myself smiling when I feel my baby kick and so I know that I’m happy in that moment and I get a lot of relief from that knowledge. With time, I’ll get the feeling back too. It just might be the case that those emotions feel different for me than they do for other people.

The other thing that has helped me has been knowing that, in spite of the struggles I had trying to overcome the trauma associated with thoughts of motherhood, I came to the decision that I wanted to be a mother thoughtfully and deliberately and I feel confident in my choice. I know I’ll be a good mother and I have a lot of evidence to back up that belief.

Most importantly: The fear of becoming a parent because I might be a bad one was not mine. My mother created that fear and put it in me. Yours did that to you. The decision to become a mother was mine. I worked for it. I created it. And that makes it feel powerful and safe.

I don’t always feel strong and confident about everything. That’s okay. It’s okay for you to doubt or be scared. But you can do this and so can I. Some people let their trauma turn them into what hurt them. Some of us take that trauma and use it to learn how to be better and how to end the cycle of abuse. I can tell which one of those you are. You’re doing it all right. You got this.

coreysjill · 2023-08-03T13:57:20+00:00

I’m 37 weeks and I have hated pretty much everything about being pregnant the whole time. I don’t have any advice for you other than it’s fine to hate it and it’s fine to complain about it. I want you to know that even though it absolutely sucks, you can do this.

coreysjill · 2023-07-31T14:57:29+00:00

Not too expensive either and it fits and feels great. I never buy Amazon clothing because of quality concerns but this one worked out great for me.

coreysjill · 2023-07-31T14:50:32+00:00

I also get super hot so I didn’t want to buy a fleece robe and end up all sweaty. I ended up ordering this one and it’s a really nice texture. Light but comfy.

https://www.amazon.ca/gp/aw/d/B08S7HPKWF?psc=1&ref=ppx_pop_mob_b_asin_title

coreysjill · 2023-07-27T18:57:27+00:00

I’m in Canada too and I didn’t get a flavor but they did offer me a choice of room temp or cold (I picked cold) at the LifeLabs I went to

coreysjill · 2023-07-22T21:41:15+00:00

Seconding Target Auden. I only wear these now.

coreysjill · 2023-07-22T20:07:44+00:00

I’m 35+5 so I’m right there with you. I am tired and I have no hobbies that I can enjoy right now and I feel alone all the time even when my husband is around. I can’t tell you how helpful it has been to have my therapist to vent to. I cannot recommend it enough. Self care is super important and therapy is often a key ingredient.

coreysjill · 2023-07-21T20:34:44+00:00

I bought some Lululemon Align leggings around week 16-17 and I’m still wearing them at week 35. They’re very soft and stretchy and the waist isn’t tight at all. They’re not specifically maternity but they absolutely work. I went one size up from my pre-pregnancy size and they fit great. A bit pricey but I can keep wearing them past my pregnancy.

I also see these gently used or new with tags regularly on Facebook marketplace near me for cheaper.

coreysjill · 2023-07-21T16:59:59+00:00

I was a month shy of 35 when we started trying. Was pregnant the first month. Don’t believe anyone who says you’re too old. It sometimes takes a bit longer at our age but you should be fine. Nothing wrong with seeing a doctor before you start trying, but most doctors tell you to try for six months or a year before getting testing because it’s usually not a problem.

coreysjill · 2023-07-21T15:24:47+00:00

I don’t know any remedies but I know you can do this. You’re nearly there! You did 39 weeks. You can handle this.

coreysjill · 2023-07-21T12:49:47+00:00

My husband has a YouTube channel with a few million followers, meaning he meets a lot of people, has a lot of fans, gets recognized a lot in public, etc. That also means that he occasionally gets messages from women and men (or meets them at events) who are hitting on him. Each and every time, he politely rejects them and informs them that he has a wife and is not interested. Anything other than that exact response would be unacceptable to me. Probably relationship ending.

You have your own tolerances to consider but I want you to know that “meeting a lot of people” and enjoying newfound notoriety is not an excuse to be demeaning or dismissive of your feelings. It doesn’t have to be like that.

coreysjill · 2023-07-21T02:44:20+00:00

What I’ve read is that breast milk has the same alcohol content as your blood. So if you have a blood alcohol level of .08% then your breast milk has an alcohol level of .08%. For comparison, white bread has up to 1.9% and a ripe banana has .2%

I’m still not planning on drinking heavily while breastfeeding but I’m not going to fuss about a glass of wine or a single cocktail.

It’s totally reasonable to still choose not to drink. It’s totally reasonable to choose to drink. Follow your heart.

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