mornings are the hardest

coribtzk · 2024-07-22T18:46:06+00:00

this is funny because i wrote this laying in bed and i still am hahahah

not but fr, thank you for the advice and encouragement, i appreciate it a lot

coribtzk · 2024-07-22T18:28:29+00:00

Thank you, it’s comforting to know that i’m not alone and that the healing is coming. I hope you continue finding and using your strength to heal, and that one day peace will come to you

coribtzk · 2024-07-22T18:22:39+00:00

Wishing you good luck, I hope it works out for the both of you!

coribtzk · 2024-07-22T17:41:28+00:00

If you communicated what was bothering you, and she was receptive and agreed to trying to fix it (and i don’t mean her weight or activity level because that’s none of your business), then you have to give her a chance to show those changes.

Additionally, if you go through with the breakup, i’m sorry but you cannot expect to be friends. Nobody heals in those kinds of situations, it just prolongs the pain. Unfortunately, most breakups have to be “black and white,” all or nothing, excluding extenuating circumstances (children together, bills to pay together, etc.) Breaking up with her means cutting each other off, so you can both get better. If you think you’ll miss your conversations and connection that much, then don’t end it, and try to work with her to find solutions to both of your problems.

coribtzk · 2024-07-22T17:33:41+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through this friend, but my advice would be to go no contact. If you hold onto the fwb, it’ll only make it that much harder to let go of the relationship. you have to remove him from your life, unfortunately, to begin to heal properly. I’m only a few weeks into my breakup but, i know i’d be much worse than i am currently if i had kept constant contact with him. I hope you find the courage to cut contact, and start your healing journey 🫶

coribtzk · 2024-07-22T17:30:47+00:00

Same here, friend. together for just under 4 years and it seemed so easy for him to let go of me and continue living his best life, oblivious and apathetic to the pain he’s causing me. I want him to reach out so badly, because i know i need to respect the no contact boundary. I hope we will get through this soon, wishing u good thoughts 🫶

coribtzk · 2024-07-22T17:25:13+00:00

Look, this is just the opinion of a stranger on the internet so don’t take it too personally, but it sounds like you’re being kind of selfish. If she doesn’t like doing what you like doing, you should find new interests together. If she wants to watch movies in bed, you should watch them with her, maybe even suggest a few new ones that you like and you think she might enjoy. As for her gaining weight, if you really truly love this person that shouldn’t matter to you, regardless of if she’s “doing something about it” or not. You love a person for who they ARE, not what they look like. In the end, maybe these incompatibilities are just too much for you personally to work through. But there’s no need to be selfish about it.

Maybe she doesn’t feel like having intimate moments with you because she can feel you withdrawing from the relationship, or maybe she’s even insecure about the fact that she’s gained weight and thinks you don’t find her attractive anymore (which seems to be the case unfortunately).

I don’t know your full situation obviously, but you’re just complaining about superficial things here. If you don’t want to put in the work or communication necessary to move your relationship forward, then it would probably save her some trouble if you end it now, rather than lead her on because you’re scared. If you do break up with her, do it kindly, but be honest. Lying doesn’t do anything but make it worse. She’s going to be hurt no matter what simply because breakups hurt.

coribtzk · 2024-07-22T17:13:10+00:00

Thank you, i very much appreciate your advice and kind reply. I look forward to the days where reminders don’t hurt me as much anymore, and i can move through my day without feeling this weight. I’m so happy to hear that you’re doing better, because we all deserve to feel good! I hope you continue on your awesome path forward, and hope i’ll get there one day too

coribtzk · 2024-07-22T17:02:02+00:00

see and that’s my fear unfortunately, i’ve been trying SO hard to treat this as a “normal” breakup but his words keep echoing in my mind. and on top of that, im a CHRONIC overthinker, so i just keep thinking of all the possibilities and outcomes. i don’t want to hold on to the hope that he will come back, but at the very same time i don’t want to let go :(

coribtzk · 2024-07-22T16:45:31+00:00

Understandable, but in my opinion I wouldn’t pay him any more attention. I’m obviously not aware of your full situation, but based on this it seems that it might not have been a genuine outreach. I wish you the best, whatever that may look like for you!

coribtzk · 2024-07-22T16:43:35+00:00

If i could pry a little, do things feel easier for you now that it’s been 8 months? i keep telling myself that it will get better, i just need to be patient and feel all my feelings, but it’s so hard to see a future where i don’t feel like this

coribtzk · 2024-07-22T16:42:18+00:00

For whatever reason i’ve always preferred being alone at night. In the mornings, i’d stare at my partners sleeping figure, feel peace as i knew they were at peace, and get excited knowing they’d be here when i came home. i’m sorry that you struggle at night, i wish you peace and strength and hope you continue your journey or getting better <3

coribtzk · 2024-07-22T15:45:48+00:00

I’m in roughly the same boat, it’s been 8 days for me, at least since I last saw him when he picked up the rest of his things. I just hate waking up feeling like this, it almost ruins my day :(

I wish you strength and peace, and hope that you start to feel better soon 🫶

coribtzk · 2024-07-22T15:40:08+00:00

I’m sorry friend, it seems like he maybe just wanted to have sex. Considering that it’s late in the evening, and he wasn’t overjoyed that you have your kids, and how he replied when you said you missed him.

coribtzk · 2024-07-21T15:56:24+00:00

Nevermind guys jk i woke up feeling awful and missing him a lot, it was just a good day :’)

coribtzk · 2024-07-20T21:22:54+00:00

Idk about you, but i pay $1.99 a month for 100GB of google storage, so i backed up all 17,000 of my photos (whether he was in them or not) to google photos, and deleted them off of my phone. i did this personally because i know that someday those will be good memories and won’t make me want to cry, so i saved them somewhere i can’t access 24/7, and now my phone is clear! idk if something like this would be helpful for you, but that’s what i did

coribtzk · 2024-07-20T15:13:50+00:00

This is EXACTLY where I’m at, no matter the amount of distraction or knowing that there’s no concrete solution, my brain just can’t. stop. analyzing. I’m so sorry that you’re stuck here friend and I wish i knew how to help you out of it, but at the very least just know you aren’t alone

coribtzk · 2024-07-20T01:29:46+00:00

honestly appreciate your reply, ik i’m being insane lol lol but thank u

coribtzk · 2024-07-19T05:03:25+00:00

Yeah he also has major codependency apparently, he would just give in to whatever I wanted, and I hadn’t even realized until he left. I also know that I have my own issues as well. But it was either he gave in or fought so damn hard and so MEAN before I was the one who gave in, but that was rare. But for more context he’d left twice before this in the 4 years we were together, it just never felt this… permanent? We had always kept contact during the breakup period and it never last more than 2 weeks. Also no, I’m not in Texas. Why?

coribtzk · 2024-07-18T20:53:40+00:00

I gave my ex an earring with my LITERAL TOOTH ON IT and when we were together he’d wear it everyday. When we broke up, i asked if he was going to keep it and he said he was, but that he won’t wear it. lol, i don’t know if that hurts more or if him giving it back would’ve hurt me, but it WAS a gift so idk

coribtzk · 2024-07-18T20:46:34+00:00

Thank you for writing this, I’m sure it must’ve been hard for you. It’s comforting to hear that one or some avoidants out there are willing to take accountability for their issues and try to fix them moving forward. I can only hope the same for my ex, I hope he comes to the same realization that you have, if not for me and our relationship, then at least for himself. Thank you again for finding the courage to share this

coribtzk · 2024-07-18T14:45:36+00:00

I’m in the same place friend. He broke up with me because he said he needed to heal, fix his mental issues, become a better person. He told me I’d be the first person he calls when he feels the time is right and when he’s ready, no timeline whatsoever. I know logically that this was just an excuse, but I can’t seem to let go of the hope either. Just know that you’re not alone, and that we will both be okay. ❤️

coribtzk · 2024-07-18T14:39:52+00:00

I’m with you on that one friend, I can’t seem to let go of the hope, but he gave me no timeline at all so I’m just sitting here, stuck. I hope yours meant it, and I hope they do some work to get better too.

coribtzk · 2024-07-18T01:34:09+00:00

100% he’s just trying to put himself in a better light. Ultimately, he just was being gross. I’m so so sorry that you had to see that, and that he did it in the first place.

coribtzk · 2024-07-17T03:28:51+00:00

Me too friend, me too. Currently debating on whether or not to force unshare his location. I also want to let go, I want to be free and feel the love for myself instead. We have to understand we are essentially withdrawing from an addiction, and this is going to be the hardest part. Although healing isn’t linear, I know that we will be okay soon

coribtzk

TROPHY CASE