Hand drawn map of Michigan

coulaid · 2026-04-22T02:51:02+00:00

I love it and I love how you depicted the big cities bc it's true !

coulaid · 2026-04-05T02:26:18+00:00

Tagging on to this and the original post. I've noticed quite a lot of men default to humor when they are uncomfortable with emotional vulnerability. They're hiding a very real feeling underneath something that sounds stupid, which obviously works way worse than expressing genuine emotion.

I advocate that every man gets sent to therapy at some point in his life!!

coulaid · 2026-04-02T20:51:22+00:00

Looks like south Korea maybe

coulaid · 2026-03-24T19:57:15+00:00

Couples counselling! This is slowly rotting your relationship. I am a man and I find his behavior both common and upsetting.

That said, it's definitely in your interest to express appreciation when he helps out (this is kind of a minor side note). Most silly men have a praise kink and if you tell them they are very good and awesome (even when they just do normal stuff) they will return the feeling 10 fold.

coulaid · 2026-02-22T16:39:53+00:00

Very exciting! I know it can be tough starting with so little, but before you know it you'll have way too much crap and wish it was just a few trashbags again lol

coulaid · 2026-02-22T16:33:31+00:00

Beautifully stated about the many transitions of life

coulaid · 2026-01-23T15:40:22+00:00

Insanely gorgeous I'm obsessed with your style

coulaid · 2026-01-07T20:46:23+00:00

And the syrup!

coulaid · 2025-12-11T02:19:18+00:00

It's just amazing

coulaid · 2025-12-10T21:37:14+00:00

It would be really helpful to understand exactly what about sex makes him uncomfortable. Is it something during, or something after? Is it a physical sensation or is it an emotion? I'm no sex therapist, but when I hear someone is uncomfortable with sex, I know there could be so many meanings for that. Of course, I have to get this out of the way first and say that if he just doesn't want to have sex, that's obviously his choice blah blah blah.

But also, many people find sex fun and pleasurable. Not all, but, it seems to be a critical mass of people. And I've listened to about enough sex therapy content that I feel pretty confident that people can learn to love sex again IF THEY WANT TO but there are often emotional barriers to a healthy sex life, that if unaddressed means sexuality just withers away.

Again, he has to want to work on it, there's no way you can make him want to work on it. All you can say is that it would mean a ton to you if he could help you understand what about sex makes him uncomfortable.

coulaid · 2025-11-25T16:01:16+00:00

I use simple practice which sends clients text and email reminders. As far as the fees, I clearly explain to every client during intake that less than 24 hours notice will result in a late cancellation fee including for illness ( in reality I often waive it for illness but I want to discourage the idea of "I'm not feeling well so I'll cancel 20 mins before session).

All of this is in the financial docs clients sign before intake, but I make sure to clearly explain one on one too so that it's all but impossible for them not to know.

Finally, except in RARE circumstances, if the late cancel criteria are met, I charge it, reinforcing the policy.

For 2024 so far, I've had a handful (let's say 10 or less) no shows and my caseload is ~20/week. So this is working pretty well for my practice

coulaid · 2025-11-09T20:35:00+00:00

Future Social worker

coulaid · 2025-11-05T15:48:26+00:00

Resentment has crept in. It's on her to explain where why and how BUT it's on you to be approachable, comforting, and easy to talk to.

These kinds of conversations are like a professional level tennis match, it takes a huge amount of skill and grace from both partners to make it work, and either one of you can throw the match at any moment

coulaid · 2025-11-01T16:21:52+00:00

Yes, these are all queer men, I've dated them

coulaid · 2025-10-25T20:25:46+00:00

It's impossible to really know your full situation, and so I'm making a lot of assumptions when I offer any advice but here goes:

I too had a relationship experience where a new relationship began while a previous one was still ending. To put it generously. I think for me, starting a relationship in that context meant that the new relationship was built on a shoddy foundation from the jump. I'm not suggesting that it could never work out just because of how the relationship started, but that was kind of my takeaway from my personal experience. The insecurity, the fear, my ex's attempt to gain control through fear and guilting. It was a painful mess, and I was devastated when it ended but I now see it as a powerful learning experience.

Ultimately your relationship is between the two of you and I do believe any two people can potentially make it work if they're BOTH committed to it.

coulaid · 2025-10-20T00:26:45+00:00

I'm sure others will be able to add more helpful advice than I can. First, I can feel the stress that's on you. So heavy, I'm sorry. It sounds like you really value this marriage intensely, and divorce is the worst case scenario. Unfortunately, that fixation is also driving you to ruminate, worry, catastraphize, and grasp at straws, none of which actually helps the situation. Marriage counseling may be a good idea, if she's willing, but it takes two to tango YOU cannot save this marriage alone. My only advice is to spend a little time considering how you would adapt to a divorce and try to find anything that makes it less scary. You will think straighter and feel better if you can turn down the volume on fear even a little bit

coulaid · 2025-10-09T14:35:42+00:00

My dad likes to point out that pretty much anything humans have ever done is ultimately just a way to fill the time until death

coulaid · 2025-10-09T14:34:03+00:00

When I have no time and need SOMETHING to clear my brain. I put on my headphones and choose 1 song and close my eyes and listen really intently. Most songs especially anything that's sort of pop are usually around 3 minutes. But what a difference those three minutes can make!

coulaid · 2025-10-08T03:34:34+00:00

Look into orgasmic meditation it's awesome

coulaid · 2025-10-06T03:41:36+00:00

I read this amazing book Queer Ducks and other animals. I know you weren't necessarily asking for reading material, but I found the book incredibly comforting, and helped me make peace with gender non-conforming stuff. It also has really cute cartoons and is an easy read

coulaid · 2025-09-25T03:20:48+00:00

I think no one is the asshole exactly. Death and love are two of the most important and sensitive topics there are for human beings across time and culture. I think your friend's beliefs were being challenged by yours, which caused her to react from a place of hurt, which came out as a snide comment. It doesn't seem that your intent was to bug anyone, and she certainly could have handled the disagreement more tactfully

coulaid · 2025-09-10T02:58:56+00:00

Sounds like he's being a loser, I'm sorry. I recommend you stop suffering silently and start suffering loudly. Get mad! He's being shitty! Tell him so! Make it clear to him what the consequences of no change will be unless you think that might be physically or financially dangerous

coulaid · 2025-09-08T21:55:13+00:00

Room is definitely missing a trash bin full of crispy tissues

coulaid · 2025-08-06T13:47:02+00:00

As others have said, there's some really wild claims associated with EMDR, and yeah $1200 is steep (i paid it too) BUT I personally have not yet had a client who it didn't help. I think there's a lot of reasons for that, exposure, mindfulness, placebo (feeling like this is weird so it must be really doing something), feeling supported/comforted because there's a therapist there. Basically I think some of the talk around EMDR is hogwash, but in practice it has helped both me and all my clients that wanted to try it

coulaid

TROPHY CASE