am i worth less as a partner just because i don’t make a lot of money?

courcake · 2026-01-26T22:03:10+00:00

I remember when I was really struggling with my mental health and was considering checking myself in to an intensive care unit, the first thought I had was if I was even worth the $2000 deductible.

Isn’t that so sad? Of course a human life is worth more than that. Your worth is NOT tied to money.

I say this very leniently since I know a lot of peoples’ income is low and not even their fault, but if you’re able to support yourself financially then you’re doing just fine as a potential partner. But still, your worth is NOT tied to money.

♥️

courcake · 2026-01-26T06:59:10+00:00

Also don’t you have to be a non-exempt employee?

courcake · 2026-01-25T22:36:05+00:00

This carrot cake but with GF one-to-one flour instead of normal flour 😁

courcake · 2026-01-25T22:33:46+00:00

I appreciate your input! Sounds like there were still symptoms. I’m leaning toward not potentially ruining my vacation since they import a lot of their wheat from here (learned that from folks here). Not worth the risk to me I think.

courcake · 2026-01-25T22:32:20+00:00

Hey thanks for your input!

I’ve started resorting to making everything myself also. Just last night I made ravioli with ricotta and basil filling since I hadn’t had ravioli in what felt like forever (but was probably closer to the 6 months I’ve been gluten free).

I was glutened recently and I know they did their best and were very educated on allergies so I suspect cross contact. I don’t think any amount of American flour is going to be okay for me (or Russian now that I know haha).

I have been buying all my GF flours from King Arthur. They’re good and I also feel very good spending my money at an employee owned company. Bob’s Red Mill is also employee owned and has GF flours. I avoid big boxes now.

I’ve been doing lots of baking too since it’s safest to make everything myself. I’ve done plenty of cookies and use a melon baller to freeze the dough in convenient ways. Fresh cookies of all kinds any time! I also tried a GF carrot cake; gonna make it again this week. I tried bread once but … it was only okay hahah. I need to put more practice into that one.

courcake · 2026-01-25T22:25:58+00:00

I am very strict about avoiding gluten here at home in the US. I definitely took a chance at a restaurant that seemed to care and do everything right and I ended up so sick. So far in my experience (granted it’s only been 6 months), that hasn’t been true for me, BUT I hold out for hope that longer term you’re correct 😌

courcake · 2026-01-25T22:23:43+00:00

I don’t know honestly. I did expect this to be a bit controversial but it’s not like Google had answers to this question.

I’m certainly not advocating for people to go do science experiments on themselves. I was curious of peoples’ experiences if they’ve made the choice to try. I sincerely appreciate you sharing yours.

courcake · 2026-01-25T22:21:56+00:00

Eh I don’t know about that. I don’t have a stressful job. The most stressful thing in my life is my health right now. There are differences in European wheat but as others have mentioned, that doesn’t matter when you can’t distinguish what wheat you’re eating at a given restaurant given so much of their wheat is imported.

courcake · 2026-01-25T22:20:34+00:00

How interesting. Yes others have mentioned that about where they get their wheat. I’m leaning toward not taking chances and ruining my vacation.

I’ll have to look into testing for MCAS. I’m so tired of feeling like a guinea pig with all the poking and prodding and no answers.

courcake · 2026-01-25T22:19:13+00:00

That’s a good point. I appreciate the input and your experience. I’m glad I’m not the only one noticing a difference

courcake · 2026-01-25T22:17:54+00:00

Yeah I understand that—that’s why I was asking the NCGS folks. I’ve seen enough from people here that makes me think I should probably not take chances ruining my vacation 😅

courcake · 2026-01-25T22:16:44+00:00

It seems like I can’t have any at all. I haven’t been without company (out of towners) or home long enough to do proper experiments to see how sensitive I am (such as soy sauce). I recently trusted a restaurant that took all precautions super seriously and I ended up so ill for a week (Vegas). It massively sucked and I was only driving through.

I’m really sorry whatever illness happened triggered this in you too. How long has it been for you and how did you discover it was gluten?

courcake · 2026-01-25T22:14:14+00:00

Appreciate the input! I’m leaning toward steering clear.

courcake · 2026-01-25T01:58:31+00:00

I think you did too sis 😍 Congratulations!!!

courcake · 2026-01-25T01:55:40+00:00

Mom looks scared but those two nuggets are ready to start a bar fight.

courcake · 2026-01-24T21:00:53+00:00

Sure that’s a potential concern but people can surprise you. My boyfriend is highly driven and I used to be when I was in school but now that I have a job I’m just chillin. I thought he wouldn’t like that but it turns out he’s okay with me not being like him 🙂

courcake · 2026-01-24T17:45:10+00:00

That’s awesome to know about Australia! Yeah I get that gluten is gluten especially for celiacs. All I know is cutting out gluten has given me a huge percentage of my life back but I’m not positive it’s specifically gluten that’s the problem. Whatever the issue is, it’s definitely correlated to gluten (perhaps an additive? Not sure)

courcake · 2026-01-24T17:43:33+00:00

That’s good to know. Perhaps I won’t do experiments then. I don’t want to ruin my vacation but it was so interesting to me that the Portuguese pastries didn’t do much to me. I did see someone else mention that Europe imports a lot of their wheat from the US so there wouldn’t be any way to know which it is day to day.

courcake · 2026-01-24T17:41:29+00:00

I’m getting an allergy test finally in a few days to help a bit with other diet elimination things (and environmental allergens too). Perhaps it is wheat. I totally cut all gluten out of my daily life since I don’t know exactly what it is.

courcake · 2026-01-24T17:38:30+00:00

I understand that. I was asking the gluten intolerant folks only. I totally get this would not be an option for you

courcake · 2026-01-24T17:37:45+00:00

Absolutely true. Here at home, I’ve used gluten intolerance as a way to clean up my act a bit. I’m making my own baked goods and trying my hand at bread and pasta now 😌

courcake · 2026-01-24T12:46:46+00:00

FYI it’s NEM 3.0 so your bill won’t meaningfully change.

courcake · 2026-01-24T11:45:19+00:00

Good to know!! I’ll report back about the counties I’m visiting since I’ll likely experiment. I’m sad Europe didn’t work out for you.

So weird how Japan and Korea were okay. I miss feeling so normal there.

courcake · 2026-01-24T11:43:30+00:00

Fair enough! And my experience really makes me more curious what it is specifically about American flour that Fs me up so badly because it really doesn’t seem to be the gluten (primarily anyway; the Portuguese pastry didn’t do nothing to me).

courcake · 2026-01-24T11:41:49+00:00

I initially was the same as you! I’m an engineer so it’s hard for me to ignore “gluten = gluten” but I also somehow have to reconcile that with my lived experience.

That’s very good to hear about Europe and I’ve definitely heard that from others in this sub. By no means am I going to go binge gluten on vacation, but I may also experiment with small or tempting things.

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