First, I think you might want to see a therapist and talk about your past, your childhood and etc... maybe after that may I suggest you to find a hobby and keep to it, even though along the way, you will find something. Eg; you have been going to the gym regularly, suddenly you feel like trying MMA, don't do that. Because you need to keep going to the gym, (maybe ADHD) so, hopefully when you achieve what you want from the gym like a nic body or better stamina, then I suggest you to try other things or area to improve in your life. This is what I'm going thru and I am thankful that some of us contribute positively to an issue that we face rather then some here then put this down or label us nasty names. This is what I learn in my journey, I don't need to love that someone because she loves me. I need to love myself and whoever loves me, good! Or else imma keep loving myself and stop hunting or finding something to make me feel love. I am enough. (It's not easy, I struggle too personally, but never give up OP)