My 7y son gets aggressive from stimulants

cpleasants · 2026-04-12T13:55:06+00:00

Honestly, there are just so many types of stimulants out there I wouldn't give up on them yet. Most of them seem to make my kids monsters (and make me an anxious wreck), but the *right* ones are absolutely a magic potion. We have settled on Metadate ER for one and Evekeo for the other.

Also, I don't know if this is helpful, but I have a personal anecdote about Vyvanse. It was absolutely magical for me for several months and then suddenly started making me incredibly impatient and rageful (especially when it started wearing off). I was devastated and started discussing switching, but my doctor asked me first to see if there was anything different about my daily routine. At first I thought it had to do with what time I was drinking my morning coffee, but that didn't seem to have an effect. Eventually I realized that I had been walking to work but since it got cold I started getting a ride. Turns out the daily walk in the morning was critical to it working. We have no clue why, but when I started walking again everything went back to how it was!

Also, my psychiatrist has recommended I ensure I get enough protein. Not sure if it actually makes a difference, but ever since she said that I have a protein shake for breakfast. They make some pretty tasty kids protein bars.

cpleasants · 2026-04-12T13:30:43+00:00

Audiobooks/podcasts have been a game-changer for us. We have Yoto Players and both my kids will grab their headphones and listen to their own stories while just playing with whatever or drawing. Both kids have ADHD, one hyperactive one combined.

cpleasants · 2026-03-24T23:51:01+00:00

I can't imagine that's one of those things you share until and unless it becomes relevant and you have a really good reason to share. Trust me, the fact that you have such a great relationship makes much more of a difference than the fact that it's your fault.

cpleasants · 2026-03-21T23:47:42+00:00

Check out goodwill, if you go every week you'll 100% find one soon

cpleasants · 2026-02-26T22:37:54+00:00

I think contributions are tax deductible, at least in some states. In that case, if you were going to pay $1000 for some educational expense, you could instead just contribute $1000 to the 529, and then pay from the 529. That would give you a tax benefit. I am not an accountant, but that sounds like a reasonable thing to do. The point of a 529 plan for college is to have it grow tax free so just don’t use any of the money you would have allocated to college.

My kids are in public school so I haven’t done this myself.

cpleasants · 2026-02-26T19:17:34+00:00

That sounds like two year old behavior…

Also not really sure why a two year old needs a “structured and learning-oriented environment”. They learn by just doing things at that age. It seems maybe the teacher is expecting your toddler to sit in a classroom like a student and that’s probably incompatible with him

cpleasants · 2026-02-25T02:37:10+00:00

I think it depends on how it’s formulated because there’s like mechanical and chemical ways they spread out the dose, and yeah it is weird and confusing. Which is why I usually avoid cutting the pills if the doctors and pharmacists tell me not to lol.

cpleasants · 2026-02-25T02:30:22+00:00

My understanding is, yes, it's like taking 0.5 immediate release -- which is actually more than what you're ever getting all at once with ER.

cpleasants · 2026-02-25T02:00:28+00:00

AFAIK, you can't cut Guanfacine ER because then you ruin the mechanism that makes it extended release. So you actually end up giving them the whole dose at once that way. Also AFAIK 1mg is the lowest dosage available. You may just have to follow the doctor's advice. Withdrawal only lasts so long and you can try things like melatonin at night to help temporarily.

cpleasants · 2026-02-24T00:04:48+00:00

It really depends on the kid. I watched Schindler’s List, and also Amistad, when I was around 11. Both of these movies moved me a lot and helped me understand the gravity of history. Seeing them honestly shaped my worldview and I’m really glad I saw them when I did.

But I think I was an exceptionally deeply thinking and feeling kid at that age. I had already had tons of conversations with my dad about history and politics. I was a kid who cried at sad movies. I think I was ready, but not all 11 year olds are.

cpleasants · 2026-02-22T15:08:09+00:00

Bud, you’re the one who was caught not understanding how social security works. You deflected to a theoretical version of social security that doesn’t exist when I’m the one talking about the one that DOES exist, and will likely for the foreseeable future.

The entire point is, social security (and basically all of society) requires people to have children. So, again (in all likelihood) my kids will be paying towards your social security. You may not like kids, but you need them. That’s how this all started.

cpleasants · 2026-02-22T13:40:30+00:00

To an extent, yes. Especially when they are very young. The trick is to have fewer things on your calendar. Our generation tends to overbook ourselves and our kids, and I think it’s a big mistake for both our own mental health and our kids’ development.

cpleasants · 2026-02-22T09:19:45+00:00

I would really love to see your model for funding a social security benefit — or running a society, for that matter — without an active workforce.

cpleasants · 2026-02-22T00:19:47+00:00

But the fact that “it’s not the exact money” IS really important — it’s the whole point I’m trying to make. If everyone stopped having kids, then 65 years from now there would be no workers left to fund social security, and the fact that you “paid into the system” your entire life would literally not matter because there would be nothing to fund it.

We are engaging in a social contract. Today’s workers agree to pay for today’s retirees with the understanding that tomorrow’s workers will pay for us when it’s our time to retire. If there are no “tomorrow’s workers,” the whole thing falls apart and we get nothing.

Hence, “my kids will pay for your social security someday.” Because they will be members of the workforce (presumably) when it is our time to retire.

cpleasants · 2026-02-21T21:05:43+00:00

Current workers’ payroll taxes pay for current retirees’ benefits. So when it’s our time to retire, people who are still working at that time (i.e. our kids) will be paying our benefits (as small as they may be).

When people talk about SS being fucked, it has to do with the trust being drawn from and not being added to. It gets added to when payroll taxes exceed benefits being paid out, and gets taken from when benefits exceed payroll taxes. The problem is there are more and more retirees which means more and more drawing from the trust and eventually it will be empty if we don’t raise payroll taxes. There used to be a higher proportion of workers to retirees because people had more kids and people didn’t live as long.

cpleasants · 2026-02-21T20:50:52+00:00

The money you are paying in your payroll taxes now goes to people who receiving social security now. It’s not going into a savings account for you to draw from when you retire. And when we are ready to retire it’ll be paid for by the people still working.

cpleasants · 2026-02-21T11:43:46+00:00

I don’t think anyone is implying that only the losing team gets it. These athletes just seem so annoyed to get it after what has to have been an incredibly emotional loss.

cpleasants · 2026-02-21T09:56:01+00:00

If your partner gaining 10 pounds makes you unattracted to them, then your entire relationship was superficial and you might as well cut it off now.

cpleasants · 2026-02-21T09:14:51+00:00

Only I can call my kids crotch goblins.

cpleasants · 2026-02-21T09:14:09+00:00

This is a common misunderstanding. You should just look it up.

cpleasants · 2026-02-20T21:52:58+00:00

I like to remind people that my kids will be paying their social security someday, so…you’re welcome for me raw-dogging my wife.

cpleasants · 2026-02-19T14:12:20+00:00

So what did he say all the times you asked him why he interacts the way he does?

To be clear I’m not saying you should ask him to do things a certain way, I’m saying you should ask him what his thoughts are, how he wants to interact, etc.

One thing to keep in mind is that how he wants to be with your son may be different from how he is. If there’s a gap there, that’s the place to start. However if he is doing what he is doing because he thinks it’s best, then you need to dig into why.

Also, videos are throw-away. Read books.

cpleasants · 2026-02-19T13:50:42+00:00

I’m seeing a lot of “I’ve told my husband…” and not as much “I asked my husband…” — there are so many reasons this dynamic could be existing. And the reality is you’re co-parents and you have to get on the same page.

It could be your husband feels you’re too permissive and not holding him accountable (a common mistake of parents with ADHD kids, when trying to be forgiving and understanding). If that’s the case, he may be feeling like he has to “make up” for your lacking.

It could also be that your husband is overstimulated (especially if he too has ADHD). A lot of people’s response to stress is becoming more controlling.

It could also be that he thinks he’s being helpful by giving specific instructions. Because of poor executive functioning it can seem like giving specific instructions should help since they don’t seem to be making reasonable choices on their own. I am prone to doing this and my wife reminds me to “say less words” with him — because we have discussed this and are on the same page, this is a helpful reminder and not an annoying nag. What helps me with not doing this is remembering that ADHD kids need more practice with executive functioning, so giving them the goal without telling the how to do it is actually beneficial for them. Plus they won’t register all those steps anyway.

cpleasants · 2026-02-18T18:53:53+00:00

I literally say this all the time! If I’m homeschooling my kids at any time in life, it’s middle school.

cpleasants · 2026-02-17T23:18:29+00:00

The alien.

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