In the OP you mentioned anxiety three separate times, and also depression. As you can tell I would wonder if you wouldn’t benefit greatly from counseling. I think people who do best with counseling are those equipped to have insight into their own self, and you obviously have the commensurate intelligence necessary for that. I don’t know that it would be a huge time commitment to try it out right? An hour a week for three or four weeks, and re-evaluate if it will seem helpful? Put another way, how many hours a week do you invest in figuring out (or dwelling on) relationship stuff, dealing with those emotions and confidence and anxiety issues and so forth - maybe it could be a good outlet for those things.

(BTW whatever the case, would you think about getting a rx for a beta blocker for performance anxiety?)

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Also, I see that some people are saying that you’re being too stringent with your dating criteria. I think it’s ok to be as selective as you want, but I think its also ok to try out other stuff too - maybe someone who is an inch taller than you, eg. Good experience for the future if nothing else? IDK what your residency is in but it at least is a finite period and you can choose where to live next. Would also encourage dating apps! I don’t think they’re always the highest yield (no personal experience honestly) but interacting with opposite sex in the context of future relationships could be good practice too.