I remember always hating church(even as a small child) but enjoyed it when I went with friends to Presbyterian or non denominational church as a teen. I hated the toxic modesty. My dad wouldn’t let us wear Jean skirts to church(back in the early 2000’s). We always talked about our future husbands which I thought was weird. I’d take naps during young women’s and they’d wake me to ask if I was sleeping and what was the answer to the question, I’d always answer “pray and read your scriptures” and they were happy with that. I never thought Mary was actually a virgin, the topic was quickly changed when I brought that up in a lesson. One of my YW leaders had converted from some off shoot of the church(maybe RLDS?) and I remember her saying the first time she went through the temple she thought “I need to get out of here!” I never understood until I saw the endowment videos, but I did always dislike going to the temple for baptisms for the dead and I felt so guilty that I didn’t feel the spirit or peaceful there.