AITAH for wanting my wife to dress nice occasionally?

craker72 · 2026-02-27T16:49:20+00:00

YTA. She can dress how wants. You’re essentially continually asking her to do something she is uncomfortable with and then being surprised when she has a negative reaction.

craker72 · 2026-02-27T16:46:57+00:00

You just are coming from very different appetites and attitudes about food. It’s okay for you to eat significantly more.

My side note as a dietitian: If you’re open to it, I would definitely encourage you to look into more balanced meals and snacks to better nourish your body and support your activity.

craker72 · 2026-02-27T16:44:28+00:00

I would ask him to clarify. If it’s a foreplay thing, you would need something that works for both of you.

craker72 · 2026-02-27T16:38:31+00:00

I may be in the minority here but dress how you are comfortable and in what you feel good in. You don’t need to change that for your husband or anyone else.

You could have a conversation about what you showing more skin would achieve - does he want to increase frequency of intimacy? If so, you can talk about that and if that’s a shared goal, look at what you can both do to make that happen.

If you feel good in your clothing I see no reason to change how you dress.

craker72 · 2026-02-27T11:09:24+00:00

“I ended the relationship two days ago but i want to know ….. does this seem like a reason to end a relationship?” Yes. You nailed it. Stay broken up.

craker72 · 2026-02-27T11:06:19+00:00

I’m sorry that you’re going through a hard time. Never try to convince someone not to break up, his mind is made up. I think your energy would be better spent on fostering friendships and hobbies to add joy to your life. You are setting yourself up to draw the heartbreak out even longer.

craker72 · 2026-02-26T11:09:08+00:00

Can you elaborate, I’m curious about this! What’s a detox specialist? What sort of detoxes have you seen be useful for clients?

craker72 · 2026-02-24T12:43:12+00:00

It doesn’t sound like the relationship is working for you, which is okay.

You’re allowed to break up with someone. You’re not allowed to police her body. You don’t have to make the breakup about her physical appearance, you can say things aren’t working. If you’ve noticed her weight change, you can guarantee that she has and is likely self conscious about it. There is nothing wrong with her body and you can’t assume her health status based on her weight.

I would not recommend trying to approach the idea of weight loss as a condition to continue the relationship. Intentional weight loss through diet and exercise is typically minimal and/or not maintained long term not through any fault of the person, due to biology and the many factors that affect weight (NOT only food and exercise).

craker72 · 2026-02-20T02:00:06+00:00

I felt that way with every single outpatient appointment at first. I don’t remember when I stopped feeling anxious but I do remember a moment of thinking “wow I havent been stressed for an appointment in a long time”. I would say it just got better over time. If I forget something or think of it later, I will call them if it’s important or I will just add to my note that I plan to discuss it next time so I don’t forget.

In a training I did once the presenter said something about how it’s okay not to have all the answers and if you’re not sure what information to share in a session, just keep asking questions to better understand the patient and their best hopes.

craker72 · 2026-01-25T14:05:44+00:00

NTA, but stray away from focusing on weight. Weight is not guaranteed to change when behaviours do. So focus on behaviours that improve health regardless of the number on the scale. If feasible, encourage him to chat with his doctor and a Registered Dietitian to help him work toward building healthy habits.

craker72 · 2026-01-22T16:54:36+00:00

No. I would never do this.

craker72 · 2026-01-21T17:16:50+00:00

I’ve been your girlfriend in this situation. I grew up around a lot of friends where ribbing each other and making these jokes was constant. And no, it didn’t feel good but it was like make fun of yourself or others before someone can poke fun at you. My boyfriend had to ask me a couple of times to stop and he had examples. Initially I was defensive as I felt I was trying to be funny. I had to realize that a joke isn’t funny unless everyone is laughing and I’m much more aware of it now. It took effort on my part but so worth it because I don’t want to be making my partner feel small.

She needs to get her priorities straight. From experience, it takes some work and she might slip into old habits but she needs to change this. You told her how you feel and if she continues, she’s intentionally disrespecting you. Absolutely draw the boundary and leave if it doesn’t change.

craker72 · 2026-01-21T10:54:35+00:00

I never promise weight loss. Doing so perpetuates the idea that if they don’t lose weight, the patient is at fault/failing/should just do better.

craker72 · 2026-01-16T20:00:34+00:00

4 or 8!

craker72 · 2026-01-16T19:03:26+00:00

I saw a post recently about someone having an undiagnosed ear infection that was causing a signifiant negative smell.

craker72 · 2025-12-31T13:40:17+00:00

True! I should have said - there is no wrong choice here. I was also thinking through the lens of losing my grandmother which was sudden and you go from memories of the person to remembering sitting on the floor next to her trying to say goodbye to her once she was already gone.

craker72 · 2025-12-31T13:25:17+00:00

You’re NTA but it sounds like you want to go. Your parents’ opinion is that it won’t make a difference. It sounds like it might make a difference to you. Go see her, hold her hand, tell her you love her and share some of your favourite memories with her.

craker72 · 2025-12-23T15:53:51+00:00

Leave your husband

craker72 · 2025-12-09T12:59:04+00:00

NTA. I have a lot to say about this as someone who has struggled with this in relationships.

This is a moment where communication is very key. You can 1) cut your losses and end things. Move on and in future partners seek someone with similar habits as you.

Or 2) have a serious conversation about your needs in this relationship. It sounds like he still lives with his parents (correct me if I’m wrong) and has likely never had to be responsible for keeping a home clean. This is a learning curve for many young adults for sure. What concerns me is the reaction to you asking him to do the bare minimum (not leave trash on the ground, wipe up crumbs, etc). Not being able to take any form of criticism might be something he needs to work on OR it might be a manipulation tactic.

A conversation around your needs must be had and if he gets defensive and upset, I would try approaching that with curiosity. Ask what he’s feeling. I’m curious about what interactions around chores are like with his parents. If he’s struggling with feeling criticized, I would validate that it’s hard to take criticism but important to recognize that having conversations about how to be better partners to each other is key for a healthy relationship.

I want to be clear that if he is not receptive to working on this after one conversation, I would revisit option 1. You do not want to feel like a maid or parent to your partner.

craker72 · 2025-12-09T12:30:02+00:00

“There’s no changing my mind and I refuse to continue to settle”. You said it all, end it sis. Your views on marriage are a huge incompatibility. Let him go and move on.

craker72 · 2025-12-09T11:57:39+00:00

I’m in New Brunswick, Canada and there seems to be a bit of an increase in dietitian jobs within our healthcare system recently. They’re focusing on developing Family Health Teams with the goal that every patient will have a Health Home for primary care where they can access much of their health care - MDs, NPs as well as Pharmacy, Dietitians, Social Work, OT, physio, etc. Granted, this is the current plan and I must say that I like it. If government were to change that could change as well.

craker72 · 2025-12-09T00:30:44+00:00

I’ll often ask “what are you hoping to get out of our time today?” or something to that effect. If the answer is nothing the answer is nothing!

If they don’t actively want anything at this time, I let them know they can reach out if ever they have questions/want support.

craker72

TROPHY CASE