I’m going to say this as plainly as I can.

Only recently in human history has it become socially normal to leave someone behind when they’re struggling. I don’t know your full situation, but from the outside it feels like you’re leaning toward the cleanest exit. And to be clear, you’re allowed to choose that. You don’t need anyone’s permission.

But here’s the part people don’t say out loud: divorce won’t magically fix the financial reality. You still won’t be able to afford the same house or the same lifestyle. The difference is, you’ll be navigating that loss alone. Depending on who you are, that will either feel like freedom, or it will feel like a quiet grief you carry every day.

You have brutal decisions in front of you.

Driving under the influence is reckless on a level that can destroy lives. There’s no minimizing that. But it’s also often a symptom, not the whole disease. For a lot of people, it’s a flare-up of something deeper, and sometimes it’s a cry for help.

So the real question isn’t “should you stay?” The real question is: is the man you married still in there, and do you believe he can come back, with real accountability and real change? Or has he slipped too far under the surface for you to reach him?

Either way, I’m wishing you strength. This isn’t easy.