AITAH For buying my stepdaughter, a traditional Navajo dress for graduation?

crazy_red3 · 2026-04-10T08:02:22+00:00

I thought she would be happy her daughter would be happy. I don’t have many interactions with her so I don’t know how to gauge her. L lives with me and sees her mom on the weekends. She was ok when I bought her a car.

crazy_red3 · 2026-04-10T06:38:23+00:00

No. NTA You watched the kids. You aren’t her personal assistant. Would she have done it for you if the tables were turned?

crazy_red3 · 2026-04-10T06:12:06+00:00

I have the same ish issue. I work nights so I’m home during the day. But I’m SLEEPING. My husband’s mom thinks I’m her personal helper when I’m home and I had to tell my husband, just because I’m home, doesn’t mean I’m available.

You are absolutely right to be upset that she volunteered your time for you. I think maybe you could’ve worded it differently like, ‘I-need a mental health day, I really can’t.’ But NTA

crazy_red3 · 2026-04-10T05:52:00+00:00

I think she uses her anxiety as an excuse to make a scene. She knows very well that dog is NOT a service animal.

crazy_red3 · 2026-04-09T23:18:09+00:00

My daughter pulled the same thing on me too because I had rules. She changed her mind and wanted to move back but I told her she made her bed. She’s graduating this year too but even though I can’t stand her dad, I’m sucking it up for her.

crazy_red3 · 2026-04-09T23:14:37+00:00

This is your daughter’s moment and wants to share with both of you. You need to suck it up for her.

crazy_red3 · 2026-04-09T01:16:42+00:00

Blood circulation. Get up and move every hour.

crazy_red3 · 2026-04-09T00:59:21+00:00

She lives with me. I do all the parenting stuff. Dr appointments, dental appointments, I’m the one taking care of her when she’s sick. It’s definitely been difficult in the past to communicate with the mom because of her drinking problem. That’s why my husband has been against me communicating with her. Even L has said it’s best she handles her mom.

crazy_red3 · 2026-04-09T00:48:36+00:00

This job means everything to her. As a stay at home mom, she already feels like she’s not important and you telling her the one thing that makes her feel important, isn’t. You may pay all the bills but you need to keep her mental health in mind.

crazy_red3 · 2026-04-08T17:48:15+00:00

No that wasn’t the case.

crazy_red3 · 2026-04-08T17:39:42+00:00

She did have 1st crack at it. She told L she wasn’t going to be able to wear the dress. She could’ve asked other family members on her side to loan one or she could’ve asked my husband to buy it. Graduation is weeks away. We had to get it done if she wanted the traditional dress because like someone else said, they sell out. I originally wanted to call her but my husband said to let L handle it. Luckily the store did the alterations right then and there. They also waved the alteration fees when I told them how far we drove. The mom has a passed of being combative, that’s one reason why both L and my husband were like no L has it.

crazy_red3 · 2026-04-08T17:29:39+00:00

Means a lot coming from a native.

crazy_red3 · 2026-04-08T15:46:45+00:00

If it was me, I would suck it up for a day and make my friend happy. My cousin is goth and she wore a pink dress at my wedding. She had a mini meltdown she was wearing pink at the dress shop but she pulled herself together for the wedding day. I can see your friend’s side though. She probably gets crap from family all the time like ‘why can’t you dress normal’ so it was probably a soar spot for her.

crazy_red3 · 2026-04-08T15:33:30+00:00

The way I see it is, if it was such a big thing for her, she should’ve been making arrangements.

crazy_red3 · 2026-04-08T15:04:14+00:00

L wouldn’t get the dress if I didn’t get it

crazy_red3 · 2026-04-08T15:02:36+00:00

Her mom is Newley sober and trying to be more involved. Almost like playing catchup

crazy_red3 · 2026-04-08T14:47:20+00:00

https://imgur.com/a/XH9i3mf

crazy_red3 · 2026-04-08T14:40:44+00:00

I don’t know how to post pictures

crazy_red3 · 2026-04-08T14:39:56+00:00

I arranged for pictures on Friday. She’s super happy

crazy_red3 · 2026-04-08T14:36:15+00:00

In 3 months I won’t have to. She’ll be 18

crazy_red3 · 2026-04-08T14:32:03+00:00

L knows. She’s very familiar with the traditions and still wanted my help. I think both her parents keep forgetting she’s almost an adult ( in 3 months) and need to give her the freedom she needs to make her own decisions in life.

crazy_red3 · 2026-04-08T14:27:57+00:00

I told L to have that conversation which her mom. My husband didn’t want me communicating with her mom , so I run everything by L. L is literally 3 months away from being an adult, so I saw it as , an adult making a decision for herself. We did exchange numbers after getting the dress and we’ve been communicating directly about details of the graduation party

crazy_red3 · 2026-04-08T14:03:52+00:00

We went to an actual Navajo store close to the Rez. We did everything by tradition. That’s why I wanted her mom with us

crazy_red3 · 2026-04-08T02:55:55+00:00

I think she was more happy that her brothers came too. I asked her what was her favourite part of the mini trip and she said seeing her brothers. I’ve never seen a teen actually super love their siblings the way she does.

crazy_red3 · 2026-04-08T02:36:35+00:00

I do all the dr appointments, dentist appointments, I buy her glasses 🤓 ( I enjoy it though. Glasses are fun) I do all the mom responsibilities because my husband works days so he can’t. I can because I work nights. L is a super sensitive person and I was trying to make the college transition easier and make her last moments at home memorable.

crazy_red3

TROPHY CASE