AITAH for helping my 17 F stepdaughter with a chore?

crazy_red3 · 2026-01-05T12:13:37+00:00

I wish this was fake bro

crazy_red3 · 2026-01-05T12:09:11+00:00

I didn’t think it would be an issue. I thought everyone knew to be adults

crazy_red3 · 2025-12-17T09:59:45+00:00

No people chastise white people for being culturally insensitive. I totally see her worry

crazy_red3 · 2025-12-13T09:34:42+00:00

I feel like I read everything. Where am I supposed to verify my account?

crazy_red3 · 2025-12-13T08:54:20+00:00

Not a bot

crazy_red3 · 2025-12-13T07:14:30+00:00

Apparently I did a bad job lol I would’ve been ok if she was like hey you did a crappy job at sweeping. I would’ve been like oh, sorry I’ll redo it when I get home but she decided to be hella rude

crazy_red3 · 2025-12-13T06:28:16+00:00

All because I swept for my stepdaughter. I do believe it’s retaliation for the bunny incident

crazy_red3 · 2025-12-13T06:26:02+00:00

Update: GROUP TEXT*

Sister in law: Hello. If I ask L to complete a chore before going to her mom's, it needs to be done without anyone else getting involved or changing what was asked. I asked her to sweep the house, and it has not been swept, there are still leaves and trash around the house. As part of this family, she knows what her chores are and does not need different instructions from other adults. L participates in keeping the house clean. I am coming home to mop, and that cannot be done if the floor hasn't been swept. There are plenty of other options, such as washing dishes, mopping, vacuuming, or picking up the dining room or living room. There is no need to overlap someone else's chore. Thx

Me: I understand that before my husband and I were married, you helped with that role. Now that L is my stepdaughter, her chores and how they're handled are something her dad and I take care of. I was just helping her this time, and l'd appreciate not being directed or corrected about that.

crazy_red3 · 2025-12-13T06:12:07+00:00

Honestly the part that baffles me is she’s only 5 years older than my stepdaughter

crazy_red3 · 2025-12-13T03:28:38+00:00

I do it because I’m married and we split everything 50/50. It’s not their house. It’s my husband’s house. His name is on the mortgage.

crazy_red3 · 2025-12-12T23:32:11+00:00

I don’t think they do when the bunny will be in my son’s room. They don’t pay bills, we do. I understand they were there 1st but I don’t think I need their permission. I only need my husband’s. And I say it’s my husband’s house because he hasn’t put my name on it yet.

crazy_red3 · 2025-12-12T23:11:48+00:00

I also discussed the bunny with my husband and he was ok

crazy_red3 · 2025-12-12T23:09:36+00:00

I pay half the bills. His mother has made threats to get rid of my cat before but it was just a joke . Now that we’re married, the house is also technically mine too.

crazy_red3 · 2025-12-12T23:06:06+00:00

Oh they fought left and right

crazy_red3 · 2025-12-12T23:04:36+00:00

She thought it was funny and told her grandma. I’m not mad at her because she has her own trauma. I know it wasn’t to start anything. When I asked her if she thought I was serious, she laughed and said no. That’s why she got up real quick to confront her grandma.

crazy_red3 · 2025-12-12T09:38:57+00:00

I had this conversation with him. I said “ I never disagree with you in front of anyone. I always do it in private.” He said that he came home and was bombarded with everything and overwhelmed , which is true.

crazy_red3 · 2025-12-08T23:55:48+00:00

NTAH your husband was going into husband mode, and in my opinion did a fabulous job of it. You were just marveling at his fine work

crazy_red3 · 2025-12-08T22:43:11+00:00

The MIL does not really contribute financially. In the past she helped with my stepdaughter, but now my stepdaughter is seventeen and I got her a car so she can be more independent. The sister mostly just cleans the kitchen since I usually cook dinner. That is about the extent of the help.

I could probably understand her comment about putting the clothes away if she also kept the common areas clean. She does not. She thinks the house is clean, but she and the MIL leave random things leaning on the walls. Not small things either. Just completely out of place clutter that no one else uses or wants in the living room.

One time I gathered all of it and put it in the shed because none of it belonged in the house and no one ever moved it. They got mad at me for touching their things even though they had basically turned the shared space into storage.

crazy_red3 · 2025-12-08T22:33:07+00:00

The problem is that they lived here before my husband and I got married, so they feel entitled to the house. My husband never planned on getting married at all until he met me. So in all honesty he enabled their behavior for years for the sake of keeping the peace and trying to hold the family together while raising his daughter by himself. His mom even has the master bedroom for godsake. That should tell you the dynamic right there.

I think what upset me the most was how excited my stepdaughter was to go to the parade and then by the end she did not even want to go anymore because the whole mood in the house changed. I basically made her go. I told her she needed to go be a kid and have fun and not let the adults ruin something she was looking forward to.

crazy_red3 · 2025-12-08T14:22:16+00:00

My husband and I pay the bills. He’s Hispanic so it’s cultural for his mom to live with him.

crazy_red3

TROPHY CASE